


If Only You Could Love Yourself

by FivePips, jennandblitz



Series: Rock 'n' Pole [20]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Anxiety, Arguing, Asexual Character, Asexual Remus Lupin, Asexuality Spectrum, Choking, Daddy Kink, Depression, Established Relationship, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Sirius Black, No Age Play, Other, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 57,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23821072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandblitz/pseuds/jennandblitz
Summary: With everything up in the air, tensions are a bit high in the Lupin-Black home. When Sirius makes a parenting decision without Remus it just makes things worse.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Rock 'n' Pole [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1452979
Comments: 255
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius was trying to focus, really. 

They were at a pottery class, with Remus, Alice and Frank, after mentioning it a few weeks ago. It was hilarious, and though Sirius had a million Ghost or Patrick Swayze quips on the tip of their tongue, they were currently watching Remus trying to sculpt a handle for a pot. Not only was he looking adorable concentrating, but his hands were gorgeous, all deft and nimble, with the clay sticking to the rough calluses. 

Thankfully it wasn’t  _ Marlene _ sitting next to them, because she’d tease them very loudly for being unable to concentrate or stop staring at Remus. At least sitting with Alice and Frank meant their ridiculous hand kink would stay out of the spotlight.

“I think my hands are too big for this fiddly little work.” Remus scrunched up his nose.

Sirius made a noise in the back of their throat, scooting their seat a little closer. “Your hands are perfect. Should we collab and I can do this bit?” Though, if Remus was doing anything else they’d likely get distracted too.

“God, please, I can’t get it right.”

“Remus, you just can’t focus on something like this for so long,” Alice teased.

Sirius chuckled. They weren’t in a position to lecture on focus. “Here, I’ll do this bit,” they said, scooting their chair right up to Remus’ and leaning over to try their hand at it. Plus, they got a closer view at Remus’ hands. Christ, it wasn’t like they hadn’t been paying attention to them recently, but today especially they were perfect.

“Remus you grab onto tiny bits of rock to hang on for dear life.” Frank looked up from his work, clay smeared across his forehead.

“Yes, but I’m not sculpting that rock.” Remus leaned into Sirius.

“Frankie, darling, you’re  _ covered _ in clay,” Alice said, turning to her husband.

Sirius leaned in and pressed a kiss to Remus’ shoulder. “Hi caro,” they said softly. “You having fun?”

“Hi love, I’m having fun -- even though this part is driving me mad.” Remus let out a happy hum.

“Ha, I would say you can just enjoy watching me do this bit, but I’m the one with the hand kink.” Sirius bit their lip, concentrating for a moment.

“Yes, very true.” Remus put a hand on their knee as Alice sounded like she was making fun of Frank.

Sirius glanced down, looking at his hand for a moment, aware that they were being a little ridiculous but  _ god _ . “Mhmmm. And so obviously, I’m having the time of my life.”

“I’m sure you are, baby,” He whispered before adjusting his glasses.

Sirius looked back up, pressing their thighs a little closer together. “Mhmm,” they murmured, sitting back with the handle now affixed to the pot. “Now we’re making a bowl, right? You can take the lead on that, if you like.” They were sure Remus would pick up on the undercurrent of their question, giving him the opportunity to do more glorious things with his hands.

“Yes, I can.” Remus grinned before pressing a kiss to their cheek.

“Mmmm, thank you,” Sirius murmured, leaning against his side as they watched him sculpt the clay. “You look very good doing this, you know.”

“I’m sure you think so.”

“I mean, it’s a fact.” Sirius shifted, watching him. “I feel like Patrick Swayze.”

“Oh yeah?” He was smiling as it looked like he was attempting to focus on sculpting.

“Mhmm.” They moved behind him, resting their hands on his waist and putting their chin on his shoulder. “This is the best position. I get to see your glorious hands, feel you all against me, and maybe, kiss your ear a little.”

Remus let out a sigh. “I agree, minus my hands but that’s your thing.”

“That’s so, so my thing,” they whispered, pressing a kiss to his ear. “Makes me want to go home right after this instead of dinner.”

“The boys will be home not long after us if not before us.” Remus leaned a little closer to the wheel.

Sirius rubbed a hand over his side, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “We can be quiet, can’t we?”

“I don’t know? Can you?” Remus retorted as he moved back closer to Sirius.

“I’m sure you can think of a way to keep me quiet, Daddy.”

“I’m sure but I promised to have a planning conversation with them in regards to the party.” Remus kissed their temple.

“Mmm, I suppose.” Sirius chuckled. “I’ll just content myself with this view. I’d say it’s not far below watching you at the piano.”

Alice laughed behind them. “You two are disgustingly cute.”

Sirius rolled their eyes, leaning back. “Haven’t you realised that after nearly twenty years, Al? I am maddeningly in love with this grumpy git.”

“It’s still cute.” She held out her phone to them. They looked at it, grinning at the picture of them and Remus, their chin on his shoulder, murmuring in his ear. Remus was grinning and concentrating on the pot, but leaning back into Sirius and looking so happy. Sirius melted more than a little.

“Oh, that’s so good. Will you send it to me?”

“Aww, I love it Alice.”

“Sending it now.” She nodded briskly. “So, you’re hosting Jordan’s birthday?”

“Mhmm. He and Teddy are really excited for it, it’s adorable.”

Remus nodded. “We’re planning tonight after we do dinner with you two. They’re currently at some skateboard thing.”

“Of course they are.” Alice laughed, shaking her head.

“I don’t think Teddy can even skateboard that well. It’s the one thing he’s not instantly fantastic at.”

“No, he can’t. I’m sure he’s just watching Jordan.” Remus sat back as he finished the pot. Sirius snickered, giving Remus’ side a squeeze, like parent, like child. “Jordan’s really good. He insisted the other day that it was all science.”

“He’s not wrong,” Frank agreed, wiping his hands on his apron. “I did once or twice when I was younger.”

“Of course you did.” Remus nodded. “And of course you agree with the science thing.”

Sirius grinned, sitting back. “I never tried it. James did once, but fell off and skinned his knee down to nearly the bone, so I stayed away.”

“Oh god, was that when he bought oregano? Tried to be cool? Was this pre or post frosted tips?” Remus stood up, stretching a little.

Sirius cleared their throat, glancing away again. “It was around the frosted tips if I remember right.”

“Ha, the rebellion phase.”

“Frosted tips, skateboards, oregano. We toyed briefly with graffiti if I remember right, but neither of us could draw for shit.”

“Classic.” Remus nodded as Alice and Frank laughed.

“God I’d love to know James as a teenager.” Frank shook his head.

“It was wild, honestly.” Sirius laughed, rubbing a hand over their face. “And of course, teenage rebellion connoisseur, Punk Remus, is judging us all.”

“Yes and I’m sure he’s unimpressed.” Alice hung up her apron.

“If you actually did the graffiti, I would be impressed.” Remus kissed them on the cheek.

Sirius laughed. “Rebellion is still the way to your heart, isn’t it?” They muttered, smiling at how true that was in so many ways.

“Of course.” He kissed them on the lips, lingering for a moment. “Graffiti should be self-expression, so I would have been proud no matter what.”

“Mmm, thank you,” they mumbled against his lips, pressing a little closer before stepping away. They had to or else they would’ve just given in and snogged him silly.

“Where should we get dinner?” Frank questioned, interrupting the moment. Sirius could count on one hand the amount of times they had been glad for an interruption, and this was one of them.

“Hmm... what’s good around here? That doesn’t mind if we’re covered in clay…”

“Ha, there’s that super casual place with the good burgers.” Alice looked between them all.

“Yes! God, I could murder a burger right now. Great thinking, honey.” Frank grinned, clapping his hands together.

“Please don’t murder for a burger, Frank. We’ll get you one without homicide, eh?” Remus picked up the pot.

“Fab, that’s what friends are for huh?”

Sirius chuckled. “I feel like you feel the same way about burgers as I do about pizza, Frank.”

“Let’s go then!” Alice put an arm around Sirius’ shoulders.

Sirius squeezed their arm around her waist. “How are you doing, Al?”

“I’m great, things are busy but good. Frankie’s off to Zambia in a few weeks to do some Wander Weekly shoot.”

“Oh, amazing! How long’s he there for?”

“Only a couple of days this time. Remember that time he went off for a month, that was horrible.” Alice shook her head.

“Ugh yeah, I remember. I was going to offer for you and Nev to camp out at ours if he was away as long again.”

“Thank god he’s not. God when Nev’s off to uni and it’s just me and the animals then I’ll go crazy.”

Sirius grimaced. “Oh nope, let’s not think about them going off to Uni, I can’t bear it.”

“Mine is very soon, and yours is a year after. What are we going to do? Ro’s already off.” She shook her head.

“God… I would say we’ll start living it up, but I think we’ll all just mope around and wonder what to do with our free time.”

“Right, we’re going to be pathetic.” She scoffed as Remus and Frank came back over to them.

“We’re talking about uni.”

“Noooo, not allowed.” Remus shook his head.

Sirius laughed. “Remus had a little meltdown the first time Teddy mentioned uni.”

“He can’t possibly be old enough for it. I want him back as a baby and do it all over again.” Remus pouted.

“We are not having another kid.”

Remus pouted more and gave puppy dog eyes. “Okay.”

Sirius looked away, tipping their chin up. “No, you cannot convince me. In our mid-forties with a baby? No way.”

“Baby all cuddled up in bed snuggling you and giggling.” He let out a dreamy sigh as Alice laughed loudly, starting to lead them out the door.

Sirius rolled their eyes. They had to admit it sounded nice, and bringing up Teddy had been the most rewarding experience of their life so far, but god, they remembered the sleepless nights and constant worry. “If we were going to, we should’ve when Ted was younger. You missed your chance, Rem, that boat has already set sail.”

“I tried and you said try when he’s older.” He slipped his arm around their waist as they walked.

Sirius kissed his jaw, thinking for a moment. “Would you really honestly want to?”

“Yeah, another baby. Oh god. You know I would.” He grinned.

They groaned, leaning their head on his shoulder. “Making you happy  _ is _ my favourite thing, but I really don’t think it would be a great idea? But we can research some more, if you like? I don’t think Dora would want to surrogate for us again.”

“No, I doubt she would.” He snickered. “We’ll talk later. For now, let’s go eat.”

“Please, I can distract you from babies with burgers.”

“You know you can.  _ And _ maybe ice cream on the way home.”

“For you, caro. Always.”


	2. Chapter 2

Remus sat down on the floor across from Teddy and Jordan at the coffee table. Jordan had a nice scrape on his arm from skateboarding, so they had taken care of that when they got in. He didn’t seem bothered by it at all though as he told Remus all about the competition that he had participated in. It was cute how excited he was.

Jordan had been staying in the sunroom for nearly two months now. Since returning to school, they had all fallen into a good rhythm. Remus usually saw them off in the morning, with Sirius already off to the studio. Since hiring other teachers, Sirius tended to be home first with the teens, then Remus not long afterwards. The kids did their homework and Teddy helped with dinner. Sirius sometimes did admin as they watched TV. The weekends were filled with competitions and fun. Remus and Sirius sometimes managed to get some time together, which was good.

Since their anniversary night, things were more settled for them and for the teens. It was their new reality and it wasn’t bad. “Okay, what are we thinking for your birthday, kid?”

Jordan was still studying the graze on his arm like a battle scar. “Mm, I don’t know. We don’t have to do anything big.”

“Yes we do! You’re turning sixteen!” Teddy flapped his hand and nudged Jordan with his shoulder. “We should throw a big party Dad.”

“We don’t have to force him to do what he doesn’t want.” Remus chuckled.

Sirius ruffled Teddy’s hair. “I know the urge is strong, kiddo, but your Dad is right.”

“I just don’t want to make you do this, like you don’t have to.”

Remus frowned, leaning over to pat his arm. “Hey, we want to. We love a party.”

“We really love a party. And we want to throw one for you, Jordan.” Sirius gave him a smile, nodding reassuringly.

“Okay.” He shifted a little. “I guess, we can… do something fun.”

“Sounds good to me. We can have it here, or we can go somewhere for it. And you can invite whoever you want.”

“Oh! What if we had it at Recovery?” Teddy nudged Jordan.

“That’d be cool, if that’s okay.”

“Oh that would be so cool! We could get in that barbeque guy, like we were thinking of doing next summer!” Sirius grinned at Remus, setting their tea mug down.

Remus nodded, reaching for the tea so he could take a sip of it. “That sounds like a good idea. We can manage that.”

“Really?” Jordan brightened.

“Yeah, yeah I’ve been in touch with the woman who owns the place.”

“We know how you both like barbeque.” 

“I do, and I can invite people? My friends?”

“Anyone you want.” Remus assured him.

Sirius nodded, their hand on Teddy’s arm. “Yep, it’s your party.”

“Okay, ah, maybe we can make the Pride cupcakes that we did Teddy?”

“That’s a great idea.” Remus encouraged the teen.

“Yes! That’s great. I bet the two of you can make loads.”

“We can make so many!” Teddy hugged Jordan tight. “What else?”

“We can open the climbing walls and have everyone go up there too maybe.”

“Anything you want, we got it.” Remus nodded. “What do you want as a gift?”

“Oh, ah… I don’t know.”

Sirius waved a hand. “Don’t worry, just let us know if you think of something. That or we’ll grill Teddy for ideas.”

“I have plenty!” Teddy bounced a little.

“I’m sure you do.” Remus took another sip of Sirius’ tea.

Sirius just tutted, well versed in the fact Remus drank their tea regularly. “Right. We’ll get it all sorted and you’ll have a great birthday, Jordan.”

“I’m really excited.” Jordan smiled.

Remus leaned into Sirius. “Good, I’m glad you are. We’ll get started on this tomorrow. It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, I can show you the Pinterest board of ideas I have, Dad!”

“Oh, you do take after me.” He chuckled. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“A Pinterest board, really?”

“Yes! It’s great. I’m quite proud of it.” Teddy nudged Jordan with his elbow, grinning.

Sirius laughed. “I’ll forever be surprised your Dad didn’t have a Pinterest board for our wedding, piccolino.”

“Look, I wasn’t interested in weddings until I decided to marry you.” Remus chuckled. “I did have a board for baby things though.”

“Of course you did,” Sirius said, rolling their eyes as Jordan stifled a yawn into his elbow. “Come on you two, to bed.”

“Okay.” Teddy stood up. “Night, Pada and Dad.”

“Night Ted, night Jordan.”

“Night piccolino, night kiddo. We’ll do pancakes tomorrow, huh?”

“Oh! Waffles!” Teddy grinned before going for the stairs.

“Waffles, yes!” Jordan let out a cheer and Remus laughed, moving to sit on the sofa.

Sirius chuckled, sinking back into their seat with a small sigh. He reached for Sirius’ tea again to take a small sip. “I think it’ll be a fun party.”

“Mhm.” Sirius’ voice sounded all tight as they lifted their hands to rub over their face.

“All right, love?” He frowned because they had been in such a good mood lately.

They shook their head, keeping their hands over their face for a moment. “Sorry. Sorry, I just got… got hit with all these feelings.”

“Don’t be sorry for your feelings. Want to talk about it?” He moved closer to put his arms around them.

“Yeah, I just…” They leaned into him, dropping their hands down to their lap. “He’s so excited for a bloody birthday party and I know what that feels like… Makes me think whether he’s had any parties he’s loved in the past, whether it’s just been… just been stuffy bullshit, or--or stupid family heirlooms for gifts or just big disappointments.”

Remus nodded, remembering hearing Sirius talk about their own parties before the Potters. It was always painful to think about how shitty their childhood was. “Yeah, I agree. We’ll make it good, love.” He ran a hand through their hair.

They nodded sharply. “Please. I want to make it really good.”

“It will be the best party  _ ever _ . Everything he wants.”

“I feel so… so fucking stupid getting upset over a birthday party.” Sirius buried their face in his neck.

“Don’t because it’s something that hurt you in the past. We’re going to have the best party for him and will make sure it will happen every year.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, sniffling.

Remus kissed their temple. “I love you more than anything, you know?”

They hugged him tighter, pressing a kiss to his neck. “I love you too.”

He nuzzled their neck. “Did you have a good day today?”

“Mm, yeah. I liked pottery class with you.”

“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Remus knew now wasn’t the time to bring up a baby, but he hadn’t forgotten it. The idea was a complete long shot, and he knew Sirius probably was going to say no but Remus could try. “I know you liked watching my fingers.”

He felt Sirius smile against his neck, still cuddled up against him, their breathing still a little uneven. “I did. I like watching your hands.”

“I know, baby.” He trailed his fingers up and down their thigh.

“Mmmhm. You know and tease me all the time.” Sirius shifted.

“Do I?” He snickered before kissing them softly.

They murmured some kind of affirmative noise into the kiss before leaning in to meet him, their hands going up his arms. He held them tight, rocking them a little. “Do you need something, princess?”

“Mmm, your kisses,” Sirius said, leaning in again.

“Okay.” Remus complied, pressing his lips to theirs again. He stopped for a moment to nip at their bottom lip. Sirius made a soft noise in response, pressing closer, one leg hooking over his.

His fingers raked through their hair as his tongue slid into this mouth with a soft sigh. All he wanted to do was to make Sirius feel good. Sirius tilted their head, moving slightly to kiss his jawline. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He pulled them closer. “You make everyday better.”

“Oh.” Sirius made a little noise, pressing closer. “You’re so sweet. You do the same for me.”

Remus kissed their neck, pushing Sirius’ hair back. “It’s true. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Ahh, mm, I’d be the same. No clue what I’d do without you, caro.”

He rubbed their back. “Want me to make you some more tea? I think I drank most of yours.”

Sirius chuckled. “I don’t mind,” they murmured, going back to trailing their mouth over his jaw. “I reckoned you’d drink most of it anyway.”

“Good.” He smiled as they kissed him. “Wanna go to bed or should we watch something here?”

They nipped at his jaw, nuzzling a little. “Bed, maybe?”

“Sure princess.” Remus kissed them one more time before standing up and holding a hand out to them.


	3. Chapter 3

A few weeks later, Sirius stood outside Recovery, leaning against the doorframe and watching Jordan greet some friends in the parking lot. The BBQ place has set up a couple grills outside and was already cooking up a storm. Their whole found family was there of course because Jordan was one of them. Remus was doing some business schmoozing with the barbecue's place’s owner.

“Pada, I put the cupcakes out on that table and shaped them into Jordan’s name.” Teddy came up and hugged Sirius.

Sirius hugged her tightly. “That’s a wonderful idea piccolina.”

“Auntie Mary helped me and she said something to me about how my aura was pulsing?” She snorted a laugh.

“ _ Pulsing, _ god that sounds ominous.” Sirius chuckled, pulling a face. “Are you having a good time?”

“I know, what the heck?” She shook her head. “I’m having a really good time. This is the perfect party.”

Sirius’ heart melted more than a little, thinking how they’d give Teddy absolutely anything they wanted so long as they were happy. “I’m glad to hear it. You think Jor’s having a good time?”

“Yeah! He’s been so excited since we started talking about it.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Sirius squeezed her shoulders tighter. “You’re still happy, huh? That’s always the most important thing.”

“I’m really happy still.” Teddy bit her lip, blushing a little.

They grinned, ruffling her hair. “Good.”

“Yeah.” She sighed, watching Jordan.

Sirius just kissed her temple, feeling so proud it hurt.

“I love him and I told him and he loves me too,” she blurted.

“Oh…” Sirius grinned, kissing the top of her head. “That’s wonderful, piccolina. I’m very happy for you.”

“Yeah?”

“So happy for you. That’s a big step. It felt good though?”

Teddy nodded with the biggest grin. “Yeah.”

“So long as you’re happy, that’s all I’m concerned about, Ted. Happy, and being treated right.”

“I know, Pada.”

“Good.”

Teddy hesitated for a moment, biting her lip. “I’m going to go hang out with Jor.”

Sirius frowned a little. “Hey, you alright?”

“Yes! I’m really good.”

“Alright. Have a good time, piccolina.”

Teddy ran off towards Jordan and their friends. Sirius watched her for a moment before turning to go in search of Remus.

“Wait! Pada!” Teddy yelled, coming back towards them before they could get inside. They paused in the doorway, turning to see Teddy running over to them. “I’m, can I -- I want…”

Sirius frowned, biting their lip as they stepped up to her. “What’s wrong?”

“I wanna… I think I want to do  _ something _ with Jordan,” she whispered looking around.

Their frown deepened for a moment before they realised what she meant.  _ Oh _ . That was what she meant. They felt a little conflicted, because they were proud she had come to talk to them, presumably for advice, but they were also fiercely protective of her, and it felt like another stage of growing up for them to contend with. “Oh. Well, you know how much we’ve talked about respect, for all parties involved, and explicit, enthusiastic consent, right?”

“Yeah.” She was blushing as she nodded.

“I trust you to make good decisions, Teddy. I trust that you know your own wants well enough, and that you’ll both be mature, huh?”

“We will -- I will. I know what I want.” Teddy looked over her shoulder. “I just… how does one bring it up?”

Sirius bit their lip, wanting to give her the right advice. “Well, I think it would come up naturally, to a point. If you’ve been… making out and it gets to a point where either of you want to stop for whatever reason.” They took a breath. “But, I think it’s a really good idea to talk about things like this  _ before _ your blood is pumping, you know? Then you’re both level headed and can understand what’s going on.” Sirius knew they were projecting some BDSM thoughts and processes into this, but safe, sane and consensual was a damn good motto to live by, kinky or not.

“Okay, I can do that.”

“Good.” Sirius nodded, watching her carefully. “I think you could definitely just bring it up. I know you just blurt things out left, right and centre, piccolina. But before you… get into it.”

“Yeah, thanks Pada.”

Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m really proud of you for coming to me, and for thinking straight.”

“I know, Pada.” She groaned a little. “Are you gonna tell Dad?”

“If you don’t want me to, then absolutely not.”

Teddy tilted her head in thought. “I just don’t want him to worry.”

“And worry he would, I imagine.”

“I know he thinks I’m too young but I read a bunch of stuff about it not being too young.” She rested her head on their shoulder.

“Mhmm. I think you’re a little young for some things, love. You know some things you really should be a little older for, but I trust your judgement, and to take things slowly.”

“What things?” She asked, ever inquisitive.

Sirius bit back a groan, closing their eyes for a moment. “Things that I am not going to discuss with my sixteen year old child, between consenting adults. You just be a teenager and explore a little and have  _ fun _ , okay?”

“Okay, okay.” She hugged them tight. “I’m going to see if they have that pulled pork.”

Remus was walking over to them, with a curious look on his face.

“Alright,” Sirius said, kissing her forehead again. “Be good, have fun. Go, before your Dad comes and asks questions.”

“Good point!” She ran off. “Hi Dad! Bye Dad!”

Remus shook his head, laughing. “Hi, bye annwyl.”

Sirius laughed. “Hi caro. How’s it going?”

“Good, just making sure everything is going all right, it seems so.” He stood next to them.

They wrapped their arm around his waist, leaning into him. “Of course it is, you planned it, caro.”

“Ha, thank you. What were you and Teddy talking about?” He asked because of course he was going to ask.

Sirius smiled. “She was asking about gifts and whether I thought we should have a big gift giving, or whether she’s better giving Jor his gift later. We reckoned he would appreciate a quieter time.”

“I agree, but I feel like it was something more important with the looks on your faces.” Remus kissed their temple.

“Remus, gift giving is important business.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Yeah.”

Sirius tutted, kissing his cheek. “I love you. It’s fine.”

“I love you too.”

“Come on, let’s go climb a little?”

“Sure, love.” He took their hand. “Are you sure she’s okay?”

“I promise, she’s more than okay.” Sirius paused, kissing his hand. “Okay. You didn’t hear this from me. But she told Jordan she loves him.”

“Oh, okay. That’s good, right?” He smiled.

Sirius grinned. “Very good. He said he loves her too.”

“That’s amazing, I’m happy for them. They’re adorable.”

“Aren’t they? They’re so cute. I’m so proud of her.” Sirius didn’t quite feel bad for lying to Remus. They knew he would likely freak out and make things much worse for Teddy. They trusted her and knew that she would only do what she was comfortable with, and do it safely, sanely and with consent.

“Is that all because you both looked  _ concerned _ .” Remus put an arm around them.

God, he was like a dog with a bone. “Yes. We just had a little moment about whether she was too young to be in love, and I said that if you feel it’s love, and that’s what you both think, then you can think and feel whatever you like.”

“Okay, okay.” Remus nodded.

“Everything is fine, I promise.” Sirius kissed his cheek, then tugged him towards the climbing wall.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus was sure there was something else to Sirius and Teddy talking earlier, but Sirius didn’t seem to be giving anything away. Whatever it was, Teddy would tell him sooner or later, as usual. He knew he could be a bit more protective with some things than Sirius, so he could understand Teddy’s hesitation.

The party seemed to be going all right. Everyone was enjoying the climbing wall and eating plenty of food while they milled about. The teens were being teens, and Remus enjoyed watching Teddy sort of run the show.

“Well, she’s really maturing so fast.” Mary came up next to Remus.

“Isn’t she? She’s amazing.” He grinned at his friend.

“All of our children are growing up so fast, aren’t they?” Mary looked wistful, watching them all cause havoc.

“Yeah, they are. How is Luna doing without Roro around? I know you and Peter are making do.”

Mary nodded. “I think she’s missing her best friend, of course. But we’re all getting by, lots of video calls and meetings on the astral plane, you know?”

“Yeah, Mam said the same thing.” Remus laughed imagining the three of them just getting together on the astral plane or whatever.

“Of course she does. She’s doing well too, hm? Her and Richard are in Spain, right?”

“I think? They are just traversing the continent right now.” Remus waved a hand. He could never keep track of her and Richard.

Mary smiled. “Spain, I’d say. It surprised me they took this long to go off travelling. I thought they would’ve done it years ago.”

Remus was going to ask why, but decided not to because it was probably the stars or something. “Yeah, well, I think it’s probably because she wanted to wait for Teddy to be a little older.”

“Mhmm, that makes sense.”

“Have you talked to Jordan at all?” Remus wondered if she could offer anything to the boy. He still hadn’t made a choice of what to do next. It wasn’t as if he wanted to push Jordan into making a choice, but he hoped it’d help him feel more settled.

“We chatted a little. I’m very fond of him, he’s such a sweet soul. He seems so much happier with you both, but I think things are definitely on his mind.”

Remus didn’t need to open his third eye to see that. “Yeah, I agree Mare.”

She smiled a little wider. “I know he’ll make the right choice in the long run. I’m glad we’re all in agreement he’s not to go back to his father.”

“Me too, he’s not a good person.” He watched Teddy scaling the wall, racing Luna, who was also really good at climbing.

“I don’t need to meet him to know that.” Mary sighed softly. “Look at them, gods, I’m so proud.”

“Me too, they’re the best, aren’t they?” Remus grinned from ear to ear.

Alice appeared at Remus’ other side, smiling. “Are we talking about our fantastic spawn?”

“Yes, where’s yours?” Remus looked around.

Alice gestured to Neville, who was with Harry on the bouldering course, batting at each other. “Being the apple of my eye, of course.”

“Ha, of course.” He hugged her. “We’re pretty lucky, huh?”

She hugged him back tightly. “Pretty lucky, Moony, pretty damn lucky.”

“Remember when I thought I’d just be single Uncle Moony at these things?” He looked around for Sirius.

“I remember,” Alice said fondly. “Then  _ someone _ appeared and turned your world upside down.” She gestured over to where Sirius was racing Marlene up one of the walls.

“Yeah, don’t tell them, their ego will swell.” He teased.

“Pfft. That’s rich coming from you, the chief reason their ego is huge.”

“I know, I know. I can’t help it. They do deserve all the praise.” Remus let out a long sigh. A moment later he felt an arm around his shoulders, then Dorcas’ voice from next to him.

“Are we having some kind of secret chinwag, folks?”

“Yes, Dorcas. We’re talking about how great things are,” Mary informed her.

“Ah yes, I thought I heard a Moony Sigh.” Dorcas chuckled, looking around. “Things are pretty good, aren’t they?”

Remus was so glad that he could give Jordan this good life now. He wanted him to get a stable home and get him settled, but he was so happy to give him everything he could. There wasn’t going to be anyway that he’d ever let Jordan go back to his father -- ever. He would do anything to make sure that didn’t happen.

“They are. Oh, Mare, that reminds me. I wanted to talk to you about Nev going to uni,” Alice said, reaching over to pat her shoulder.

“I’m not listening to this conversation.” Remus made a noise, putting his hands over his ears.

Alice snorted a laugh. “Go on then, go sit with your denial, Moony.”

Dorcas grinned. “Bless you. Come on, let’s go get barbecue.”

“Please.” Remus started for the doors, Dorcas next to him. “Don’t say anything but I’m working at getting Sirius to have another kid.”

“Really?” Dorcas’ eyebrows shot up. “I thought you two were done just at Teddy.”

“I’ve thought about it for a while, now Teddy is leaving soon… and I’ve loved having another kid in the house…”

“That makes sense I guess. I’m always here for more kids I can spoil then hand back to their parents.”

“I know you are. I don’t feel like Sirius is though.” He shrugged when they got to the grills. “That’s okay though, but… yeah.”

Dorcas shrugged. “Maybe. I’m glad you’re talking about it though. Discussion and negotiation, huh.”

“In every aspect of our lives.” He smiled as he took a plate of ribs.

“As always.” Dorcas grabbed some wings, glancing around, probably for Marlene.

Remus let out a long sigh. “Whatever happens, I’m going to be happy. I mean, I wasn’t even sure we’d have a kid, you know?”

“That is true. Single Forever Moony. But here you are with a spouse, a teenager and their boyfriend.”

“I know.” He grinned as Jordan came out. “How’s it going kid?”

“Good, Teddy wanted me to ask if we could blow out the candles. Though, I think if we go back in there everyone is already going to be around waiting to sing to me.” Jordan blushed.

“Knowing my child, yes, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

Dorcas snickered. “I’m going to gather the rest of them, then.” She clapped Remus on the shoulder then headed inside.

Jordan shifted a little. “Thank you for putting this party on.”

“Like I said, we like parties, kid.” Remus patted his back. “Are you having a good time?”

“Such a good time. The food is great and the climbing and the people.” Jordan smiled wider, his cheeks still pink.

“I’m so happy, come on. Let’s go get serenaded.” He led him inside.

Just as he suspected, everyone was gathered around the table, with Jordan’s cupcakes before them. Teddy was at the front, grinning, bouncing on their toes and reminding Remus so much of his spouse. Speaking of, Remus went right to find Sirius.

“Hi baby.” Remus wrapped his arms around them from behind as the song came to an end and Jordan blew out the candles.

Sirius leaned back into him, their arms going over his. “Hi gorgeous. You alright?”

“Yeah, just came to say hello.” He gave them a squeeze. “I see your child went over the top for Jordan.”

“Of course, she’s my child.” They tilted their head back onto his shoulder, swaying them from side to side a little. “She’s in her element.”

“She’s running the show. I would say she doesn’t need us but I know that she does.”

Sirius hummed softly. “She does. I was thinking earlier how proud I am of the relationship we have. She’s really close to us, you know?”

“Very close, yeah. She trusts us a lot and we only had a tiny bit of that  _ I hate my parents _ phase. It wasn’t even that bad.” Remus kissed their shoulder.

“Mhmm. I suspect that’s because we let her do most things, and taught her good decision making.” Sirius chuckled, still swaying them.

“Yes, I think so.”

“I love you,” Sirius murmured, turning their head to kiss his jaw.

“I love you.” He kissed them softly.

“ _ Guys _ ,” Teddy said near them.

Sirius laughed against Remus’ mouth. “Surprised you noticed us over doting over the birthday boy.”

“Of course I noticed.” She rolled her eyes. “Dad can I put my music on?”

“Yeah, whatever is fine Teddy.”

Sirius leaned against him, their head on their shoulder. “She’s going to put something shouty on.”

“You sound like an old person,” Remus teased them. “It must be the third grey.”

They huffed, pinching his side. “The third grey of which we do not speak.”

He kissed the top of their head. “They’re all in the same area, very stylish.”

Sirius looked up at him, a mischievous smile on their lips that made Remus wonder what they were scheming. “Now we know where your crush on Alphard came from. It was the grey hairs.”

“Ha! Yes, that’s where.” Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius was  _ never _ going to let him live that crush down.

“I knew it.” Sirius grinned, biting their lip.

“I love you so much.” He hummed.

“I love you too, caro.” They leaned in and kissed him, ignoring Teddy’s frustrated noise from across the room.

Remus was so lucky. Anymore children or not, he already had everything he could have dreamed for.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius got out of the car, following Teddy and Jordan into the house. Both the teens were a little subdued after the party, thankfully. Sirius was exhausted too, but the whole day was playing on their mind: their conversation with Teddy, the way Jordan was so excited for the day, how proud and lucky they were.

“I’m going to get changed!” Teddy said, already starting to the stairs.

Sirius held the door for Remus as he followed them in, grinning. “Alright!”

“I’m going to my room.” Jordan carried a couple of bags inside which contained gifts. Remus was carrying the rest.

“Drink, caro?” Sirius said, toeing their trainers off.

“Yeah, some wine I think. Jordan, I’ll drop these with you.” Remus followed after Jordan.

Sirius was about to go in the kitchen when they saw Teddy at the corner of their eye, waving them over. “Pada!” They whisper-shouted before heading back up the stairs.

Shaking their head, Sirius followed after her. She was standing in the middle of her room, biting her lip. Sirius stepped in and shut the door behind them. “What’s wrong piccolina?”

“Nothing is  _ wrong _ .” Teddy waved a hand.

“Okay.” Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, watching her. “What do you  _ need _ , then?”

“You know how you said I could have condoms before?” She blushed, pacing a little.

_ Ah. _ Sirius smiled. “Yes, I remember. I’ll go and get them for you?”

“Please.” She nodded.

“Alright. Give me a minute.” Sirius stood up, kissing her forehead on the way past. Of all the things they’d expected parenting to be, this was not one of them. But, if it meant Teddy was safe and happy, then they would do it.

“Thank you!”

Smiling to themselves, Sirius hurried to their bedroom and to their dresser. They had gone out explicitly to buy condoms for Teddy a short while ago—because they certainly didn’t want to use them in any capacity—and stashed them here so Remus didn’t freak out. They’d bought a bottle of lube too, because that made almost everything better. 

Apparently Remus and Jordan were still downstairs, thankfully, so Sirius crossed the landing back to Teddy’s room. Teddy was at her vanity reapplying lipstick because she used the kind Sirius told her would come off at the party but she insisted on the gloss.

“AH, thanks Pada.” She dropped the lipstick.

“You’re welcome.” Sirius set them on the nightstand. “Don’t leave them out. And use this—” they gestured to the lube— “for the love of god.”

“Okay, I will. I promise.” She hugged them. “I don’t think we’ll do  _ that _ , but…”

“No no, that’s the thing. Use it, just, full stop. It makes  _ everything _ better, I promise.” They grinned. “Dry handjobs are  _ the worst _ , Teddy, don’t subject yourselves to that.”

“ _ Oh my god _ , okay, okay.” Teddy turned a deeper shade of red.

Sirius ruffled her hair before pulling her into a hug. “Just so I know we’re on the same page, hm? No use dancing around the subject.”

“I know, thanks.” She hugged them again. “Dad doesn’t know, right?”

“Nope. Not at all. Keep those in your nightstand, okay?”

“Yes, Pada.” Teddy smiled at them as there were footsteps on the stairs.

“Sirius?” Remus called.

“Shit,” Teddy said as she opened her nightstand and swiped the lube and condoms into the drawer before shutting it just in time.

“Hey you two.” Remus stood in the doorway with two glasses of wine.

“Hi caro, ah my saviour.” They crossed over to him before turning back to Teddy. “Just go stick that face mask back on my dresser when you’re done with it?”

“Ah, yeah, thanks Pada.” She laughed, looking a little relieved.

“What are you two doing up here? Is it that good face mask you’re giving them?” He took a sip of his wine.

“Yep!” Sirius made a note to actually give Teddy the mask now, smiling at Remus. “Teddy was complaining about some dry skin bits, so we wanted to fix it, right piccolina?”

“Yeah, dry - dry skin.” She made a face before sitting on the edge of the bed.

Sirius grinned at her. “Come on, let’s leave her to it, caro.”

“Okay, have a nice night Teddy. If you and Jordan watch a movie or something, just make sure you turn the TV off because you forgot to last Saturday.” Remus reminded her.

“Yes Dad,” she replied, rolling her eyes.

Sirius chuckled. “Okay. Come on, stop cramping her style Rem. Upstairs or down?”

“Upstairs, we’ll watch something on my laptop. I’m sure Teddy wants to give Jor that gift you were saying earlier.” Remus took their free hand.

Teddy made a strangled noise as Sirius dragged Remus out of her bedroom. They shot her a look over Remus’ shoulder, wide-eyed, as they pulled the door to. They then wasted no time pulling Remus into their bedroom and pushing the door to.

“That was a good night, huh?” He set his wine glass down. “How are you?”

“Mm, it was great.” Sirius followed him over, smiling. “I had such a great night, and I think the kids did too.”

“Yeah, Jordan wouldn’t stop thanking me down there. It was sweet.”

“Yeah, bless him.” Sirius took a breath, trying to remember the good feeling, of thanking Monty for just the same thing.

“You okay?” Remus held his hand out to them.

They took his hand, lacing their fingers and kissing his knuckles. “Yeah, remembering the good things. Glad we can give the kids these good memories.”

“So many good memories.” He kissed their forehead. “Would you give another kid some good memories?”

Sirius bit their lip. They knew Remus wanted another child, but they weren’t so sure they did. They wanted to have some of their own time, they wanted to enjoy this part of their life. They also didn’t want to be too old for the kid growing up; didn't want to be unable to do things with them. “I dunno… I know how much you want it, but I sort of think I don’t?”

He frowned for a second then nodded. “Thank you for being honest with me.” He kissed them again before pulling them to the bed.

“Of course. I just think… I want to make the most of our time. I want to travel and see things and take advantage of the fact both our careers are in a place where we can. I don’t want to be those old parents, I want to… I don’t know, I just don’t feel great about it.” Sirius sighed, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Sirius, I’ll live. I’m so happy with you and Teddy and just everything. Another kid would have just been another cherry on top of it, but I’m not upset.”

They looked at him for a moment before nodding, kissing him again. “Okay. Thank you. I’m so happy with our lives too.”

“I just liked the idea of another kid, cause I love our first one so much.” He laughed as he wrapped his arms around Sirius.

“Ha, god. I love our child so much. I want her to know how much I love her, and… I don’t know. I don’t know if I have the mental headspace for another  _ baby, _ Remus. Maybe we can foster or something? I know you’ve loved having Jordan here too.”

“Yeah, that’d be interesting. I think having Jordan around has sort of made me think about it too because it’s just so nice to hear another happy voice in the house.”

Sirius smiled, their heart blooming. “You’re such a sap.”

“I know I am.” He kissed the tip of their nose.

“Mm I love it. Wouldn’t change it for the world,” they murmured before leaning in to kiss him properly.

Remus hummed as he kissed them back, his hand going to the side of their neck. Sirius smiled, nipping his bottom lip, their hands trailing over his shoulders. With a soft noise, Remus got Sirius on their back and underneath him.

“Tell me you locked the door. No recital interruptions?”

They laughed, arching up to him. “I locked the door,” they said, though they suspected neither teen would interrupt them. “Zero recital interruptions.”

“Oh good. Another reason not to have another kid, hmm?”

Sirius grinned, leaning in to kiss and nip at his neck. “Mhmm. We would have significantly less recital time.”

“Very true.” Remus slipped his hand under their shirt. “Soon enough we’ll be able to have all the kinky sex everywhere again.”

“Mm I have missed the impromptu fucking in the kitchen,” they murmured, biting at his neck.

“Or on the piano.” Remus rolled his hips as his fingers trailed over their nipple.

“Ahh, hm, I have missed that too,” they agreed, hands trailing down his back as they lifted their hips to his. They had a very wonderful collection of memories around that piano.

Remus laughed as his fingers pinched and his teeth grazed down their jaw. “I know you have.”

Sirius dropped their head back onto the pillow, moaning softly. “Ah, I have. We have to make the most of the nights we have an empty house, huh?” They squirmed underneath him, wrapping their legs around his waist and digging their fingers into his arse to press their hips closer. “Or just get creative with ways to be quiet.”

“Like my fingers in your mouth, huh?” He nipped at their neck as he rocked against them again.

“Mmmhm.” They slipped their hands down the back of his jeans, squeezing again. “Or something else of yours. Though you know I love your fingers.”

“Something else?”

Biting their lip around a grin, Sirius slid their hand around his hip to palm over his cock, rolling their hips up. “I’m sure you could think of something.”

“Fuck, yeah, you think so?” Remus groaned before kissing their neck again.

Sirius gasped, wriggling at the sensation as they circled their fingers. God, how could his mouth on their neck still do this to them after nearly twenty years. “Mhmm. I know you like my pretty mouth around you.”

“I love your pretty mouth.” He moaned, rucking up their shirt.

“I know,” Sirius said, smirking as they closed their fingers around his cock, their hand still down his jeans.

“I think we’re wearing far too many clothes right now.”

“Uh oh. Better fix that then.” Sirius didn’t move, giving Remus a slow stroke.


	6. Chapter 6

Doing his best to focus, Remus practically wrestled Sirius out of their shirt because they wouldn’t stop stroking his cock. Not that he could really complain about it because he loved what they were doing to him. Remus just had other plans… well, mostly he just wanted to get them out of their clothes.

“Fuck, princess, if you just stop touching me I’ll be really nice to you in a few minutes.” He took a deep breath.

Sirius gave him a grin, one arm out of their shirt. “Don’t you like me touching you, Daddy?”

Remus shook his head as he finally got the shirt off completely. “Yes, princess, I really do but I want to get you off too.” He went to undo the button on their jeans.

“Mm I suppose that might be fun.” Sirius tapped their bottom lip in thought, finally removing their hand from Remus’ jeans.

“Yeah, it might just be baby.” Remus shook his head as he sat back to wiggle their jeans down their hips. “I don’t  _ have _ to get you off.”

Sirius made a sad little noise, pouting up at him. “I thought you liked being nice to your princess,” they said, trailing one hand up their now-bare torso, straying over one nipple.

“I love being nice to my princess, but you seemed to have a one track mind there.” He tossed their jeans and briefs aside.

“Mhmm.” Sirius smiled again, swirling their tongue over the tip of their finger. Remus realised that was the hand that had been around him a moment ago. “I just love Daddy’s cock so much.”

Remus made an impatient noise before leaning forward to kiss them. “I know you do, but we have other things to do.”

“We do?”

“Well, getting you naked was one.”

“What’s number two on your list, Daddy?”

“Getting me naked.”

“Ohh, I see.” Sirius didn’t move, one hand idly circling their own stomach.

“Yeah. Then get you off.”

Sirius arched a little, one leg hooking around his hips and squeezing. “Mmmm, I like the sound of that one.”

“I can’t do that until number two is done.” Remus put a hand on their leg. Though he could, he didn’t want to not be naked right now.

“It’s a good thing I like taking your clothes off,” Sirius murmured, sitting up and grabbing the hem of his shirt to pull it up over his head.

“It’s a good thing?” He snickered.

“Well,” Sirius said lightly, tossing his shirt aside before starting on the buttons of his jeans. “It’s a good thing, seeing as Daddy’s hands don’t seem to work and he doesn’t want to undress himself. Had to really wrestle me out of my shirt too, it’s such a shame.”

Remus rolled his eyes then tackled Sirius down to the bed. “You are a brat.”

Sirius grinned, laughing as they squirmed against him. “Oh, really? Is that what it is?”

He never got sick of Sirius going into full brat mode. It seemed to just get worse and worse as they got older. “Hmm, maybe I won’t be nice to you after all.”

“But it’s number three on your list.” They wriggled to wrap their legs around his hips, grinding their cock against his thigh.

“My list is very flexible, princess.” He reached back to unwrap their legs from his hips. They fought against him instantly, tightening their legs around him, still ridiculously strong from dance. “I could add tickling to the list.”

Sirius’ eyes went wide. “No you wouldn’t. I’d scream.”

“Into my hand.” He clamped one hand over their mouth. Sirius moaned sharply, their body giving a violent shiver. Their grey eyes looked up at him, full of love, lust, and complete trust, as they swirled their tongue over the line of his palm. “Drop your legs princess.”

They stilled for a moment, their breath shallow, before they slowly lowered one leg from his hips, then the other.

“Good princess.” He kissed their forehead. “Now when I drop my hand you’re going to get me out of my jeans and briefs, okay?”

“Mhm!” Sirius nodded as much as they could.

“Perfect,” he said before dropping his hand and sitting back.

They took a moment to take a deep breath before sitting up, hands going to Remus’ jeans.

“I love when you listen.” He grinned at them.

“I should do it more often then,” Sirius quipped, leaning in to kiss along his jaw as they tugged his jeans open and pushed them down.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Yes, baby, but we both know that will never happen.”

They gave him the most innocent, wide-eyed look. “Daddy, how mean.”

He laughed as he sat back to let Sirius take his jeans off the rest of the way. “So mean.”

“The meanest Daddy,” Sirius murmured, obediently pulling his jeans off before leaning in and pressing a hot kiss to the inside of his thigh.

“Aww, I’m the meanest? I guess I won’t be nice to you.”

Sirius made a sad little noise, still pressing kisses up his inner thigh. “See, you’re mean. I want to be good for you Daddy but you make it very difficult.”

He huffed. “ _ I _ make it difficult?”

“Mhmm.” Sirius licked a flat stripe up his thigh to the hem of his underwear. “Is Daddy’s hearing that bad?”

Remus rolled away from them and off the bed. He didn’t answer as he pulled his briefs off, trying to decide how to punish them when it was so hard to tickle Sirius with other people in the house.

Sirius flopped down onto the bed, still sprawled on their stomach. Their hair was all haywire and they had the most lurid grin on their face. “Aww, I was having fun.”

He still didn’t reply, going towards their bathroom instead of the bed. Sirius chuckled from the bed but Remus didn’t hear their footsteps following him. What was he doing? He wasn’t sure but the next best thing to tickling Sirius was ignoring them for punishment.

So he turned the shower on, figuring they could maybe get off in there anyhow if he wanted. Sure enough, Sirius appeared at the door a moment later, pouting. Instead of saying anything he checked the water before ducking into the water.

Sirius leaned against the doorframe, their gaze flickering all over Remus. “Did I get you too hot and bothered, Daddy?”

He reached for the soap, pretending not to hear them.

Sirius actually stamped their foot before striding over to the shower and stepping in, pressing against Remus’ back. “No fair. See, you are mean.”

“Oh, I didn’t hear you with my bad hearing and all.” Remus attempted to step away from them. Sirius slid their hands around his waist and held on tight.

“Mm I know your hearing is great. You hear me whenever I’m trying to be secretive and touch myself.”

“I don’t know, all those years of punk shows have caught up with me.” He tried to wash his body with Sirius attached to him.

“Poor Daddy,” Sirius cooed, kissing the spot beneath his ear that they  _ knew _ made him moan. Their hands slid down his stomach, palming over him.

He bit back a moan. “I didn’t say you could touch.”

They moaned in his ear, still kissing that same spot. “Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Aww. Pretty please with a cherry on top? I’ll be so good for you.” One hand went to Remus’ hip, the other sliding back up his chest.

Remus closed his eyes. “You haven’t been good yet. I said no.”

Sirius snickered, swirling their tongue over that spot. “Maybe that’s because you haven’t been giving me your fucking glorious cock, and I’ll behave as soon as you do.”

“That’s not how this works.” He tried not to melt at their tongue and their touch.

“Mm, it should be. You know a good fuck always makes me behave.” Sirius’ fingers circled around one of his nipples before pinching just a little. “Whichever bit of me Daddy wants.”

“Stop touching and listen, then maybe I’ll give you what you want.”

Sirius made an impatient noise before their hands moved away, bracing on the wall in front of them both. The movement pressed their bodies closer and Remus could feel all of them against his back, knee to shoulder.

“Princess, move back.” He looked down at his feet, trying to keep composed.

“No.”

“Fine, then you won’t get off.” He set the soap on its shelf.

Sirius groaned, burying their face in his neck as they rolled their hips against his arse. He took a breath before managing to turn around without making them both slip and fall. He grabbed both their wrists and pinned them against the wall.

“You’re very bad tonight.”

“Ah!” Sirius gasped, almost immediately writhing against him and testing his grip, but Remus held them tightly. “I think you like me when I’m very bad.”

“I like when you listen.”

Sirius bit their lip, grinning broadly. “I was listening. Listening to the noises you make when you’re trying not to moan.”

Remus gritted his teeth and held their wrist tighter. “You’re the biggest brat. You’re not going to get what you want tonight.”

Sirius shifted against him, their breath hitching. “Why? What are you going to do to me?”

“Nothing.”

They damn near whimpered. “Daddy, please.”

“No.” He dropped one wrist to turn the water off. “You’re a bad princess that doesn’t listen and thinks they always can get what they want.” Remus smirked before dropping their wrists and stepping out of the shower.

Sirius made a face as if he’d said the worst thing imaginable to them, giving a sad little noise too. “Daddy please. I’ll be really good and listen and let you do whatever you want and not be mouthy. You can use me all night and not let me come, I swear.”

Remus reached for two towels on the rack, his back to Sirius, hoping they wouldn’t see his smile. He took a breath and composed himself before turning around to hand them a towel. “Here baby, dry off.”

They took the towel and dried off quickly, still watching him carefully. Their cheeks were pink and their lower lip red from being bitten. Remus dried off before heading into the bedroom. He turned the bright light off before switching on the fairy lights. The whole while he wondered what Sirius was going to do next.

A few moments later Sirius appeared in the doorway, looking repentant. Remus smiled as he got into bed with his wine. “What shall we watch?”

Without answering, Sirius crossed over and sank to their knees at Remus’ side of the bed, their hands behind their back, head bowed a little. When they did finally submit they always did it so prettily. “M’sorry Daddy, I’ll behave, and be really good for you.”

Remus sipped his wine before running his fingers through their hair. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” Sirius’ eyelashes fluttered for a moment, leaning into his touch. “Whatever you want Daddy.”

“Come lie down then.” He set his glass aside.

They swallowed before quickly standing up, skirting around the bed and climbing onto their side. “On my back, or?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I'll be nice and post the rest of the smut tonight 🤷🏻♀️


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go, I was feeling nice so you get three updates today.

This was the bit Sirius loved the best; pushing Remus so hard that he manhandled them and made them beg. There was something still so intoxicating about finally giving in to him and giving themselves over. They knew that no matter how hard they pushed, he would never be truly upset with them, and any punishment would be swiftly followed by something wonderful.

They climbed onto the bed, watching Remus looking serene, with a little smirk on his lips. He reached over to them, pulling them around so Sirius was laying next to him. “On your back is good.”

“‘Kay,” Sirius breathed, letting their arms fall just above their head, watching him carefully. Anticipation was curling pleasantly in their stomach, making it hard to stay still.

“You’re so bratty tonight.” He reached over to the nightstand.

“Mm, I’m sorry Daddy.”

“Yeah? You should be.” Remus sat up with the lube in his hand. “You were  _ very _ bad.”

“I know. I like Daddy putting me in my place.” Sirius watched him carefully, practically holding their breath.

He hummed as he poured from lube into his hand before tossing it aside and straddling Sirius’ thighs. “I know you do princess.”

They groaned, unable to look away from his fingers, dripping with lube. “Ah, I do. On my knees for you or under you is my fav—favourite place.”

“If it wasn’t so loud I’d put you over my knee right now.” He wrapped his hand around Sirius, giving their cock a slow stroke.

Sirius moaned sharply, throwing their head back. “You can. I’ll—I’ll be quiet I swear. I’ll put my hand over my mouth.”

“Baby, that’s not the loud part I’m talking about.” His thumb ran over the head of their cock.

“Ahh, we could—could put music on. I’ll do whatever you want Daddy.”

“It’d be too loud.” The hand around their cock gave another stroke as Remus’ other hand ran up their chest.

Sirius whimpered, lifting their hips to his touch. Somewhere in the back of their mind Sirius thought Teddy and Jordan were probably too preoccupied to hear them, but they wouldn’t dare say that out loud. He wrapped his free hand around their neck as he stroked them faster. Sirius moaned, dropping their head back. “Ah, Daddy, please.”

“Please, what princess?” He whispered with the most toe curling smirk on his lips as the hand around their cock continued to stroke.

_ Fuck _ . Sirius couldn’t think with him looking at them like that, their orgasm clenching in their stomach. They swallowed hard, the motion making Remus’ hand press against their throat. “I wanna come. Please can I come, please?”

He shook his head, dropping the hand around their cock. “Mmm, no.”

Sirius shuddered, trying to sit up to follow him but his hand was still tight around their neck. “Ahh, Daddy! Please, please.”

“I don’t know, baby.” His fingers walked up their stomach then down as the fingers on their neck pressed a little harder.

“Ahh…” Sirius’ breath hitched, their head swimming for a brief second. “Please—please,” they breathed, their hands coming up from above their head to Remus’ hips.

“Maybe.” He ghosted his fingers over their cock.

They moaned, hips lifting as their fingers dug into Remus’ hips. “I’ll—do whatever you—want.”

“So sweet.” He cupped their balls in his hand.

Sirius shuddered, teeth sinking into their lower lip in an effort not to come. “Please Daddy,” they whispered, feeling wonderfully lightheaded.

Remus’ long fingers wrapped around their cock again, stroking fast as the fingers on his throat pressed harder.

“Ah!” Sirius couldn’t speak, the combination of it robbing them of breath and the higher function needed to. Their hips lifted up to Remus’ touch, grinding against his hand. They didn’t know if this was permission to come or not, but they hoped to god it was.

“Do you need to get off, princess? Do you wanna?” He smirked.

Sirius nodded frantically, their teeth sunk into their lower lip as they looked up at him, looking fucking glorious.

“You can come.” He brushed his lips over theirs as his wrist twisted up.

They tried to usher out a quick  _ thank you _ before a moan spilled from their lips, but they didn’t think they did, or else it didn’t carry with how lightheaded they were, barely enough breath to think. They came only a moment later, hips jerking up against Remus’ touch, their body tense and shuddering as they practically sobbed in relief—or they would’ve if they had breath to.

When they came back to themselves, Remus was dropping both hands and kissing them softly. “Good princess.”

Sirius took a big breath in, eyes shutting as they sank into him, their head spinning and body still shuddering. He petted their hair before lifting his come covered hand to their mouth. “Here princess.”

They eagerly opened their mouth, swirling their tongue over his fingers before sucking them clean. After a moment their eyes flickered open to look up at him. He smiled at them as his other hand carded through their hair.

“I love my baby when they listen.” He kissed their temple.

Sirius sighed softly, pulling off his fingers with a wet pop. “I love being good for you Daddy.”

“Yeah?” He rolled on to his back. “You wanna be  _ real _ good for Daddy?”

“Oh fuck,” Sirius blurted, their cock giving a twitch despite the fact they had just come. “Yeah, I’ll be real good Daddy, whatever you want.”

“Suck my cock, princess.”

Wasting no time at all, Sirius practically scrambled to settle between Remus’ legs, ignoring their still shuddering limbs. They leaned down on their elbows, arse in the air, as they pressed open-mouthed kisses over Remus’ length.

“Ah, fuck, you’re so good princess. Take me in your mouth.” Remus’ hand went into their hair.

“Mhmm. I love your cock Daddy,” Sirius murmured, squirming at his praise before sucking lightly on the head.

“Shit, I know -- know you do.” His fingers dug in a little as he pushed their head.

Taking a breath through their nose, Sirius let their jaw go slack, let Remus push them down as far as he liked. They gave a soft moan, swallowing around his cock, slick with spit. Above them, Remus let out a moan then covered his mouth with his own free hand before pulling Sirius up then pushing them back down again. Holding eye contact, their eyelashes fluttering a little, Sirius let their tongue drag over him on the way up and down, swallowing again. They were half concentrating on not gagging and half getting turned on again by the way Remus was using them.

Remus’ moans and groans were stifled by his hand, but Sirius could hear them still as he fucked their mouth. The way his body was tensing, Sirius knew that Remus was close to coming. They used every trick in the book, at least all that they could with Remus holding their hair so tight and his cock so deep down their throat. They held their hands behind their back, knowing Remus liked it when he was practically holding them up by the hair. God, they loved him like this.

With a muffled noise, Remus arched up and held Sirius down as he came. They managed not to gag—thankful for years of practise—and swallowed around him, moaning at the taste of his come on their tongue. Remus dropped both his hands as the aftershocks of his orgasm rolled through him.

“Oh fuck, you’re amazing.”

Sirius squirmed at the praise, pulling back just enough to lave their tongue over him to clean him up. He shuddered at what Sirius was doing with their tongue.

“Fuck, god, I love you.”

“Mmm, I love you too.” They pressed a kiss to the tip of his softening cock. “I could do this all night.”

“In a bit, come here. We’re not as young as we used to be. I need a minute.”

Sirius snickered, crawling up his body and dropping kisses along the way. “I love you,” they murmured, leaning in to kiss him.

“I love you too. So much.” He ran a hand through their hair before kissing them deeply. “Are you okay?”

They panted into the kiss a little before pulling back. “Mmhm. Just… lightheaded. Don’t think I took a proper breath there.” They grinned though, loving the feeling, and loving Remus’ hand around their neck and his cock down their throat.

“Well, take some breaths now princess.” He kissed their forehead.

“Yes Daddy,” Sirius hummed, purposefully taking a big breath in.

“Do you need me to do anything?” He wrapped his arms around them.

They shook their head. “Just cuddles… and—” they cleared their throat— “maybe water?”

“I’ll go get you some.” He kissed their forehead. “I only have wine. I didn’t think earlier apparently.”

“Wine is good,” Sirius said, holding their hand out for one of the glasses.

“You sure?” Remus passed them a glass with a laugh.

“Positive. Post-mouth fucking wine is great,” they replied, grinning at the rasp of their own voice before they took a sip.

“Good baby.” He kissed their cheek.

Sirius hummed, their eyes closing. “Twenty years and you can still take me to pieces with just a word.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm. Your praise still kills me. Or whenever you call me princess or baby.”

“You really like baby.” He kissed across their brow.

“I do. Princess is still my favourite, but baby makes my stomach flip.”

“Yeah.” Remus reached for his wine. “You nearly died when I asked you to be real good for Daddy.”

Sirius felt their cheeks flush. “There’s something about when you ask me. When you say  _ want to be good for Daddy? _ that makes me just want to come on the spot. Especially if it concerns getting to suck you off.”

“I love it. It’s sweet.” Remus smiled from ear to ear. “You didn’t mind me leaving the room did you, when I went into the bathroom?”

“Mmm. I was a little worried for a moment. But I knew that if I’d really pushed too far you would’ve safeworded.”

“Exactly.” He kissed their cheek before taking another drink. “I think I can go again soon if you’re interested.”

Sirius grinned, gulping down another mouthful of wine before setting the glass down. “ _ If I’m interested _ . Where do you want me, Daddy?”

“Let’s finish the wine.”


	8. Chapter 8

Remus woke up, feeling sated from the night before. He yawned and rubbed his eyes to look at the time. Not too early, which was nice for the weekend. It was doubtful the teens were awake after the party and whatever they did after, probably a movie and going through Jordan’s gifts. Next to him Remus found Sirius sat up in bed on their phone, looking as if they hadn’t woken up all that long ago since there was no coffee.

“Morning princess.” Remus yawned and stretched his arms above his head.

Sirius looked over, smiling widely. “Morning,” they replied, tossing their phone down and leaning over to press a kiss to his lips.

“Mmm, how are you doing this morning?” He grinned.

“Sore,” was Sirius’ answer, returning his grin just as broad. “Deliciously so.”

“Yeah, we had a nice night?” Remus grinned, thinking about how he had Sirius bent all about last night in their bed.

“Mmm, nice is one word for it. I think I have bruises on my hips.”

“I’m sure you do and on your wrists. Hopefully not on your neck.” He snickered, resting his head on their chest.

Their fingers threaded through his hair as they hummed softly. “I think I might. I’ll just wear scarves for a few days. Your grip is ridiculous.”

“Oh god.” He would have moved to look, but he was too comfortable right now.

“At least it’s not the height of summer. Like that time I had the bloody handprint around my throat.”

“Ha, yes, that was the night before we went to the beach too.” Remus snorted a laugh.

“Mhmmm. I had to come up with some creative excuses.”

Remus looked up at them. “What was it that you said?” He ran his fingers over their throat, not seeing any bruises.

Sirius hummed, tipping their chin back. “It was an unfortunate pole accident, if I remember right.”

“Right, right, just wrapped your neck around it?”

“Yeah, of course. I slipped trying out a move and hit myself with it, or something.”

“I remember Marlene laughing for like an hour and Dorcas gave me a high five.” He laughed loudly, remembering Dorcas’ look of approval.

Sirius chuckled. “It’s like a badge of honour for us weirdos, isn’t it?”

“Lily  _ knew _ , she had that look on her face, you know the one.” Remus waved a hand. “And poor James was like  _ what what what _ the whole time.”

“Oh god, right? I know that look.” They shook their head, chest shaking with laughter. “James would’ve died if he figured it out.”

“He’s so vanilla. The poor thing.” Remus sat up.

“Isn’t he just? Bless his heart.” Sirius ran a hand up Remus’ back, dragging their nails a little on the way down.

“Ah, that feels good.” Remus hummed, leaning into the touch.

Sirius chuckled, their other hand coming up to scratch lightly at his back as they pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck.

“Mmm, what do we have to do today?” He closed his eyes at the sensation.

“I want to say just stay here,” Sirius hummed. “But I think we could do something with the kids? After we do some bloody housework.”

“Mmm, we should do breakfast then some housework then we can figure it out. Though we should figure out what we want so we can strive for our goal.” Remus leaned into Sirius’ touch.

Sirius chuckled, raking their nails a little harder for a moment. “Why do you sound like a self-help book all of a sudden?”

“God, I don’t know. Peter’s new read must be rubbing off on me.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe he’s in a self-help book club.”

“God, with a wife like Mary too, surely he can just ask her what he needs to do, huh?”

“Right!” Remus nodded, turning his head to kiss Sirius softly he heard Teddy thunder down the stairs. “Ah, the child is awake.”

Sirius rolled their eyes. “They can’t do anything quietly, can they?”

“No, they can not. Takes after their Pada.” He smiled before getting himself out of bed.

“Oi! I am  _ quiet _ , thank you,” they squawked, leaning over to slap Remus’ on the arse.

“Hey! Look who’s squawking!” He batted their hand away as he pulled on a pair of sweats.

Sirius gasped, flopping back onto the bed. “How very dare you,” they whispered.

Remus stuck his tongue out at them as he grabbed a long sleeved t-shirt. A few moments later he felt their arms around his middle, kissing his shoulder.

“Breakfast. Then we can plan and achieve our goals.”

“Yes, my pearl. You need clothes first.” He leaned into them.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve told me that,” Sirius mumbled, kissing the nape of his neck again before skirting around to pull on their own sweats.

“I’m sure there have been other times I’ve made you get dressed. Would I rather you naked? Of course, but we have other people in the house.” Remus laughed, watching them pull on a sweatshirt. “Another reason not to have another kid, huh?”

Sirius laughed. “Exactly. Especially if the little one had to sleep in here for a while. We’d be back to midnight handjobs.”

“Remember the time we both fell asleep in the middle of a handjob?” Remus did realize that having another baby was probably not the greatest idea. Though, he’d love to give a kid a good home, he knew Sirius didn’t want it. They had Teddy and that was more than enough.

Sirius snorted, rubbing a hand over their face. “Fuck, I remember. That was awful.”

“We were so tired.” He opened the door. “You’re right about not having the energy for another baby.”

“Yeah.” Sirius crossed over and kissed him softly. “I know you wanted another kid, but I think we’re perfect just how we are.”

“I know, love.” He took their hand, starting for the stairs. “Maybe we can talk about fostering or something at another point, but I understand.”

“I like the sound of that,” Sirius said, following him down the stairs.

“Good.” He grinned at Sirius and kissed them one more time going into the kitchen. Teddy was at the stove already, Jordan was not up yet it seemed. “Oh, good morning annwyl.” He went over to hug them.

Teddy hugged him back, spatula still in hand. “Morning Dad.”

“Pronouns?”

“He/him, please.” Teddy smiled as he worked on the eggs in front of him.

“Did Jordan like your gift?” Remus asked before going to get the orange juice.

“Er!” Teddy made a small noise. “Yeah! Yeah, he did.”

“You know… I’m so -- I know that you’re young and some people might think that teens your age shouldn’t feel that way, but I’m glad that you’re listening to your feelings.” Remus pulled out a glass. He hoped he wasn’t throwing Sirius under the bus because Teddy seemed concerned about telling Remus that they were in love with Jordan.

“Right,” Teddy said, sounding a little strangled.

“I’m really proud of you. I know you probably thought I’d freak out, but I’m not.”

Sirius cleared their throat, seemingly appearing next to Remus holding a cup of coffee. “Here, caro,” they said, sounding strangled themselves, and not in the good way.

“Thank you.” Remus made a face. “It’s a big step in any relationship, especially really young. Don’t get mad at your Pada for saying something, okay?”

Teddy swallowed, looking between Remus and Sirius for a moment before saying quietly, “God, Dad, it was just a handjob.”

The smile fell from Remus’ face, and he set down the coffee mug before he dropped it. He couldn’t have heard that right. And Sirius  _ knew _ ? After asking them, they had lied? And what… distracted Remus last night to help Teddy?

“WE USED PROTECTION THOUGH!” Jordan, who was now standing in the doorway looking pale, shouted.

“I… what? You… you… I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU BEING IN LOVE!”

Teddy’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates. “What? Oh GOD. Oh shit.  _ That _ was what you told him, Pada?!”

Sirius held up both hands, looking, for once in their lives, a little embarrassed. “Yes! Jesus, shit.”

“YOU KNEW?” Remus couldn’t comprehend the situation at all. “Oh my god.”

“Yes, Teddy came to me for advice.”

Teddy put both hands over his face and slumped into one of the chairs. “Oh god, I just said that to my Dad, oh god.”

“You -- you’re…”

“I’ll go pack my things,” Jordan muttered.

“No no, Jordan, you’re staying,” Sirius said, gesturing to him. “Everything is  _ fine _ , alright?”

Remus rubbed his face, turning the burner off on the stove. “I need a minute.” Remus cleared his throat. “I’ll go give Bucky a walk.”

Teddy looked out from behind his fingers, face bright red.

Sirius put a hand on Remus’ arm, squeezing slightly. “Alright.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sirius let out a big breath as Remus shut the front door behind him, taking Bucky on a walk. The silence of the house seemed stifling for a moment, with Teddy sat at the kitchen table and Jordan still lingering awkwardly in the doorway.

“Are you sure I can stay?” Jordan asked.

“Yes, of course.” Sirius beckoned him in and gestured to the chair next to Teddy. “I’m not going to kick you out for sheer human nature.”

“Remus might.”

“Yeah, Dad’s so mad.” Teddy covered his eyes with his hands.

“Well, he can try. I won’t let him.” Sirius sat down opposite them both, sighing softly. “He’ll get over it.”

“I’m sorry.” Jordan pulled his legs up on to the chair, wrapping his arms around them.

“Neither of you have anything to be sorry for.” Sirius took a gulp of their coffee. “Provided, of course, that whatever you did last night was completely consensual and safe.”

“It was,” both Teddy and Jordan spoke at the same time.

“Good. That’s the important thing.” Sirius nodded, feeling more than a little relieved. They were determined to fight for this to be  _ normal _ . Teddy would have a healthy attitude towards sex and relationships, and Sirius had promised themselves he would never feel ashamed about sex or desires, because they were natural, and society was a bitch when it came to that.

“He’s so mad,” Teddy repeated.

“I don’t know if he’s  _ mad _ , he’s just… probably in shock, honestly. But neither of you are going to get into trouble, okay? I’ll make sure of it. What you did was healthy and natural and safe.”

“Okay.” He put his hands on his cheeks, face still red.

“We’ll just let your Dad calm down a minute, alright?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Maybe we can make him waffles?”

“That’s a really good idea piccolino. Shall we get started on the batter?”

“Yeah, come on Jor.” Teddy stood up. “Dad is won over by food.”

“Ah, your child being a great cook is the best,” Sirius said, going to try and lighten the mood. “Means I can sit here with my feet up and drink coffee, and you two can make waffles.”

“Yes, Pada.” He rolled his eyes, going to the cabinet to start getting things out.

They bit their lip, watching the two teens. They were so proud of them both, even if Remus was mad. This was something they were prepared to stand their ground on. “You two have homework you need to do today?”

“No, we finished it Friday so we could have fun this weekend.” Jordan watched Teddy begin putting the batter together.

Sirius grinned. “You two are too smart for your own good sometimes.” They sipped their coffee. “You want to do something fun later then? Or are you at the age where doing cool things with your parents just isn’t cool anymore?”

“If Dad wants to…”

“He will. Trust me, Ted, I’m not letting your Dad be mad about this. You did nothing wrong.”

Teddy nodded. “Okay… Jordan got a bunch of gift cards. Maybe we could go shopping?”

“Yes! Retail therapy fixes everything.”

“And maybe the place with the good tea and cakes?” Teddy bit his lip.

“Ha, you really are our child, aren’t you?” Sirius shot him a grin. “Always.”

“Obviously.” He laughed as Jordan stirred the mix.

Sirius’ smile softened, watching Teddy carefully. “It’ll all be fine, Teddy.”

“Okay.” Teddy came over to them and hugged them. They hugged back tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He sat on their lap and buried his face in their shoulder. Tutting softly, Sirius wrapped their arms around him and rocked him slightly, cuddling him against them like they used to do when he was a baby. “I don’t want Dad not to…”

“It’s okay piccolino,” Sirius murmured, still stroking a hand over his back and rocking him. “Dad is just surprised. I promise, it’s okay.”

“I don’t want him disappointed in me.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Sirius’ heart broke, their arms tightening around Teddy as they pressed another kiss to the top of his head. “He won’t  _ ever _ be disappointed in you, okay? You’re his  _ child _ and he loves you so much. He won’t be disappointed, ever.”

“Okay.” Teddy let out a sigh before standing back up. “Right.”

Sirius rubbed their hands over his arms, smiling reassuringly at him. “I love you, piccolino.”

“Thanks Pada, I love you.” Teddy gave them a smile before going back to Jordan, who was resolutely looking out the window behind the sink.

They let out a sigh, rubbing their hand over their face. Remus had better not be mad. And he better be back soon, for waffles.

Thankfully, Remus came back just as Teddy took the first waffle out of the iron. Bucky came charging in first before Remus trailed back in. “Waffles?” Remus asked, looking slightly more relaxed than he did before he left.

“They are the perfect Sunday breakfast,” Sirius said with a smile, standing up to go over to him.

“Yeah, I think we have some berries and cream to put on them.” He kissed Sirius on the cheek.

“Hi caro,” they said softly, squeezing his side before letting him go. “I think so too.”

Remus opened the fridge as Teddy glanced over his shoulder. Sirius bit their lip, looking between them before following Remus to the fridge and putting their chin on his shoulder. 

“Go talk to your child,” they whispered. “Jordan and I can do breakfast. Or talk to them both, and I’ll hold down the fort here.”

“I’ll start with Teddy,” He replied before turning to Teddy. “Hey, it’s nice out, Teddy, why don’t we go set up the table out in the garden?”

Teddy froze, eyes wide, and Sirius gave him a reassuring smile. They were half tempted to grab Remus and tell him that if he berated Teddy for this,  _ he _ would be in trouble.

“Er… sure Dad.”

Remus and Sirius gathered things to set the table before heading out back to the patio. Neither of them looked thrilled to go have their conversation, but they were going. Sirius watched them for a moment before letting out a breath. They crossed over to Jordan, who was staring intently at the waffles cooking.

“Hey kiddo. You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry still.” He didn’t look away from the waffles.

“For?” Sirius smiled, ducking their head into his eyeline.

“Well, we broke the rule about being behind closed doors, didn’t we? That at the least.”

Sirius chuckled. “Did you? I wouldn’t know. We were upstairs watching TV, you could’ve had the door open for all I know.”

Jordan flushed. “You’re really okay that we… while you and Remus were here and…”

“I’d rather you do it here than, I don’t know, in some alley or at some sleepover or in some, Jesus, public toilets or something. You’re both safe here.”

Jordan nodded.

Sirius put their arm around his shoulders, squeezing slightly. “You both being safe and happy are the important things to me.”

“Thank you.”

“Right. I’ll man the iron. Will you slice some strawberries for me, kiddo?”

“Sounds good.” Jordan smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUESTION! PLEASE ANSWER BELOW OR MESSAGE US O TUMBLR:
> 
> Would you be okay with us posting three times daily instead of two? Would that be too much? We'd like to get the story out a little quicker now that we are done writing but don't want to spam the readers who read daily/each post.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, we have been convinced: we will be posting three times daily.

Remus didn’t want to be angry with Teddy, but he couldn’t believe that he broke the rules Remus set out again. He highly doubted they did whatever they did with the door wide open. Also Remus thought Teddy was so young, god. Wasn’t he still a baby? Not to mention Sirius lying to him and consistently denying anything last night. They had just ignored Remus’ concerns about Teddy being more of an adult than they needed to be at 16. He was also left out of an important parenting moment.

“So…” Remus took a seat after they had set the plates down.

Teddy appeared intent on straightening the placemats. “Yeah?”

“Are you doing okay?”

He nodded, still straightening things.

“Teddy, please stop and sit down.”

After pausing for a moment, Teddy skirted around and sat in the chair opposite Remus, biting his lip and looking worried.

“I’m just shocked. We were having two entirely different conversations earlier, and I wasn’t expecting it.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah… neither was I.”

“I know you talk to your Pada about everything, and I understand why.” Remus sat back in his seat. “You worry about how I’m going to react and I get that. They didn’t break your promise about not telling me that secret.”

Teddy nodded, biting the skin around his thumbnail. “I don’t… please don’t be disappointed in me?”

Remus frowned. “I’m not disappointed in you. Am I upset that you broke a rule I had? Yeah, but I’m not disappointed, Teddy.”

“Oh… okay.” Teddy nodded, letting out a breath. “Okay.”

“I would have preferred you not to have sex in the house while I was just upstairs, but I’m not disappointed in you.” Remus hoped he was saying the right thing.

Teddy flushed red. “Right… I… yeah, that’s fair.”

Thankfully, Remus heard footsteps in the living room, then Sirius’ voice as they stepped out onto the deck. “Right, here we are. Lupin-Black Special waffles, and Jordan’s en route with the biggest bowl of berries. There’s cream, there’s chocolate sauce. We got it all.”

Remus let out a long breath. “Great, that’s exactly what I need.”

“Almost like I know you,” Sirius quipped, setting the plate down and kissing Remus’ cheek. They crossed back to kiss the top of Teddy’s head. “We alright?” They asked quietly, looking between them both.

“We’re okay, right Teddy?” He hoped they were okay at least.

Teddy nodded. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

“I just reiterated that we need to remember the rules, right?” Remus asked, then cringed a little, having another moment of  _ no wonder they tell Sirius everything _ . Sirius gave him a soft smile, ruffling Teddy’s hair. His son grinned, biting his lip for a moment.

“Right Dad.”

Jordan came out carrying the tray of berries, cream, and chocolate. Remus smiled at him, feeling terrible the boy thought he was going to be thrown out of the house. Sirius cleared a space for him, keeping up idle chatter for a moment, probably giving Remus space to breathe. 

When they finished up breakfast, the teens went to clean up and left Remus and Sirius outside. They had apparently decided that shopping with Jordan’s gift cards was going to be the plan for the day then tea at the place with the good cakes. Remus had no complaints there.

“I am the  _ mean parent _ .” Remus picked up his coffee.

Sirius chuckled, putting their arm around his shoulders. “You’re not, caro.”

“Teddy never talks to me about this stuff. I freak out about it and make them feel bad. He was so nervous I’d be disappointed in him.” He put his head in his hands.

“Mm, I think it’s just our dynamic, caro.” They rubbed their hand over his shoulders. “You’re much better with other things. He really looks up to you, and he wants to be a good kid.”

“What if he doesn’t want to open up to me about important things because he thinks I’ll panic?”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen, Rem.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

He leaned into Sirius. “I just freaked out because I found out what they didn’t want me to find out. They didn’t want me to know they were in love and they didn’t want me to know about the sex. God, I probably wouldn’t have found out about Jordan if I didn’t find them snogging.”

“You would’ve, caro. He was probably just nervous, but he would’ve introduced us both eventually. And he would’ve told you about being in love… I don’t know about the sex thing. I can see why he didn’t tell you about that.”

“Because I freak out about stuff and you’re the cool parent who he can talk about sex and relationships with. Christ, I’m whining. I’ll shut up.” He groaned, going to stand up.

Sirius tugged him back down, hand on his arm. “No caro. You’re not whining, this is valid. He does talk to you, Rem. I made sure he and Jordan were  _ safe _ .”

“All right.” He tried to stand up again. “Come on, let’s do some house work.”

“Alright. I love you, caro. You want to have a chat with him later?”

“I think we chatted enough.” Remus frowned as he started for the house. He wasn’t sure what else there was to say.

Sirius sighed, following him into the house.

After cleaning up the house, everyone got ready and headed out to go shopping. Remus knew he was being a little quiet, but he was trying hard not to make the teens feel like he was angry with them. He also wanted to show Sirius that it was all fine. So he put on a smile as they went in and out of a few shops with Jordan buying a few things and Teddy talking Sirius into buying him a new eyeshadow pallet. Remus thought he had enough, so clearly they went to Sirius.

“Oh, this is the skate shop that Luna got me the gift card for.” Jordan stopped. “They have skate stuff and records and a bunch of interesting things.”

Teddy was staring across the street at a shop that looked to sell cooking supplies. “Okay.”

“Records.” Sirius looked intrigued. “I’ll come in with you, kiddo.”

“Can we go to the kitchen place after?” Teddy asked them.

Sirius looked to Remus, then back to Teddy and Jordan. “Why don’t Jordan and I go in the skate place, and you two can go into the kitchen place?”

“Please Dad?” Teddy asked then bit his lip.

“Yeah, sure.”

Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus on the cheek, hugging him tightly, before they headed towards the skate shop with Jordan. Teddy took off across the street before Remus went after him. He was probably thrilled to go look at all the fancy appliances.

“We should look for an attachment for the stand mixer to make pasta. They have those, right?” Remus asked him as they got to the door.

“Yeah! Ah, that would be great. It’s a pain trying to roll pasta by hand.”

“God, it really is.” He looked around the shop, filled to the brim with every cookware imaginable.

Teddy lingered next to him, instead of running off to look at every shelf. He seemed a little nervous maybe, his hands in his pockets. He walked with Teddy, not sure what to look at himself. He loved kitchen supplies, but needed to not spend all his money on it.

“Having a nice day shopping so far?” Remus asked him.

“Yeah, really good. I really like coming shopping with you.”

“Yeah? Your Pada’s really good at picking things out.” Remus laughed.

Teddy blew a half-arsed raspberry. “You’re good too Dad. You find the funniest shirts, and you always seem to find the best stuff in those thrift stores. Like that time you found that old copy of  _ Emma _ ?”

“Ha, yeah, I guess I do make decent finds sometimes.” He chuckled.

Teddy shook his head, looking out at the shelves. “Yeah, you do Dad.”

“You have the best shoe finds.”

Teddy grinned, looking down at his Nikes; they were apparently limited edition, and a total steal. “I do quite like shoes.”

“Better taste than Pada, I’d say.” Remus snickered, picking up a strange looking device that was meant to be a wine opener.

“Don’t let them hear you say that,” he said, bumping Remus’ arm with his shoulder.

Remus shook his head. “I’ll take my chances with them.”

Teddy grinned broadly, pausing at the end of an aisle. His smile faded just a little. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the stuff I told Pada.”

“Don’t worry, annwyl, I understand.” Remus put an arm around Teddy's shoulders. He didn’t want him to feel bad about being a teenager.

“I know,” he said, leaning into Remus. “I just was worried you would be mad at me. I know you… I dunno, you were sad when I talked about going to uni, and I guess it’s me… growing up?” He shrugged, biting his lip. “But I’m sorry.”

Remus frowned, shaking his head. “Of course I’m sad. Pada’s sad too. We love you so much and raised up into this real human being and it’s so scary that this precious little thing I used to carry around is going to go off into the world. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want, okay?”

“Yeah.” Teddy stopped to pick up a fancy looking potato ricer then set it back down. “But I really do love Jordan. And he loves me too.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you.” He squeezed his shoulder.

Teddy blushed red. “Thanks Dad. I’m.... I am sorry we broke the doors closed rule. But I’m… I’m not sorry about the other stuff.”

“Yeah, well, is it okay I’m a little upset about it?” Remus didn’t want to say it was okay with him when it wasn’t.

“About… about Jordan and me having sex?” He whispered the last word, glancing around the shop.

“Yeah, but not that you did it. I don’t know…” Remus took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to be ashamed or anything and I want you to be safe, okay?”

Teddy nodded. “We were safe. We were really safe and we talked a lot and checked in,” he explained, cheeks bright red.

Remus was blushing as well. “Okay, okay. I’m glad to hear.”

His son gave a curt nod. “Pada’s many sex talks paid off, apparently.”

“They’ll be sure to give you more now, I’d put money on it.” Remus picked up a pasta attachment. “Be ready for that one.”

“Oh god, no. They might’ve paid off, but that doesn’t mean I liked having to talk about all  _ that _ with my parent.”

“They know it’s paid off, Teddy, it’s going to just make things worse, isn’t it?” He handed the attachment to Teddy.

He took the attachment but didn’t move towards the cashier. “Dad, you gotta save me. I can’t handle more of it. They’re so embarrassing.”

Remus laughed, tugging them along. “If you’re mature enough to be having it, you’re going to be able to have a conversation about it with your Pada.”

Teddy groaned. “Don’t logic me, Dad. No fair.”

“That’s what I do.” He greeted the cashier as he took out his wallet. “You know they just want you to be smart.”

“I know they do. And I know you do too.” Teddy took a breath, putting his hands back in his pockets. “I feel like I’m being smart. I feel like I’m doing the right thing.”

“That’s all I can ask for then. Even though I don’t want your boyfriend living in our house while these things are occuring. That doesn’t mean I’m going to kick Jordan out.” Remus waited for his card to be handed back to him.

Teddy nodded, looking relieved. “Yeah, don’t kick him out, please. We won’t… I don’t want to upset you and Pada, so if you don’t want us to do anything in the house then we won’t.” Teddy took the bag the cashier handed them. “Though Pada did tell Jordan they’d rather we be in the house than like, in a public park or something.”

“God, please don’t go to a public park and do anything.” Remus cringed at the idea of getting that phone call. Then for a second thought about how strange and somewhat unfair it felt for Sirius to be making these rules and choices without him. Weren’t they a team?

Teddy laughed. “Right.”

“Maybe… I don’t know the solution to this.” He led them back to the door. “Maybe more sex talks with Pada,” he teased as he tried to keep it light.

“Nooo,” Teddy complained, rolling his eyes. “That won’t help, I’m sure.”

“Is that why you two were being weird last night? Was there really a face mask?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

Teddy shook his head, biting his lip.

Remus nodded. “You don’t have to tell me what was going on, okay?”

“I was asking Pada for advice…” Teddy looked away. “And condoms.”

“Well, that’s -- I’m glad you did.” Remus didn’t want his child to grow up but nothing was going to stop it. At least they could go to Sirius with this stuff.

Teddy nodded. “Can we go find Jor and Pada now? I think I’m going to die of embarrassment.”

Remus frowned. “Sure, I’m sure I have to talk Pada out of buying fifteen records.”

“Ha, don’t they have enough?” Teddy started off towards the skate shop.

“You would think.”


	11. Chapter 11

Sirius stood in front of the records, three in their arms and at least six more laid out in front of them. There were no  _ amazing _ finds, no first pressings or limited colourways, but there were some older records here, and some first pressings of newer releases, so they were pretty satisfied.

“God, where are they going to go?” Remus groaned behind them.

“Ah, hey caro. I’m sure I can make room.”

“Sure you can.” He snickered.

“But look, this one is a really good find. See, first pressing of this edition, pristine sleeve notes.”

“You can get two.” Remus instructed them in his Daddy voice.

Sirius bit their lip, head snapping up to look at him. “Two!”

“Two!”

“Three.”

“One.”

Sirius gasped, clutching their favourite to their chest. “ _ Daddy _ ,” they mouthed, giving him their best puppy dog expression. “Two?”

“Two.” He kissed them on the cheek.

They pouted, kissing his cheek. “Three?”

“Two.”

“Ugh fine,” Sirius said, rolling their eyes before looking at the three in their hands. Now they had to narrow one down.

“Good baby,” Remus whispered in their ear before stepping back. “You can get the third. That’s it though.”

Sirius grinned, taking off towards the cashier before Remus could change his mind. They passed Jordan on the way, looking at snapback caps. “You getting anything, kiddo?”

“Yeah, so much.” He picked up an all black cap with some logo on it. Sirius was sure it had to do with a skate company. Jordan already had a pile of stuff in his arms.

“Good. Gift cards are the best, huh?” They smiled at him, stepping past to the cashier to check out themselves. They were more than a little pleased they hadn’t had to narrow it down to two, because they loved all three of these, and they would definitely add a lot to the collection.

Jordan followed after them. “Yeah, they’re great.”

“Jor! Look at this!” He held up a chapstick tube. “It tastes like cherries and I know you liiiii -- hi Pada.”

Sirius did their best to stifle a laugh. “Hi piccolino.”

Poor Jordan went a deep red.

Remus came over, looking at his phone. “They have lube that tastes like bana-- Christ, hi boys.” He went as red as Jordan and Teddy were.

That did Sirius in. They burst out laughing, clamping their hand over their mouth. God, there was never a dull moment in their house, was there?

“I’m going to melt into the floor.” Teddy put a hand over his eyes as Jordan stepped up to pay.

“It’s not like I was buying it.” Remus shook his head, taking Sirius’ bag so they wouldn’t drop it from laughing probably. They just about thought they had gotten over it when they saw Teddy’s eyes widen even further.

“ _ Dad! _ ”

“Look, I don’t trust scented and flavored things like that. Neither should you. I was just making the statement.” Remus waved a hand.

“Oh my god, Dad stop talking about lube!” Teddy groaned, putting his hand over his face.

“Your Dad’s right, piccolino. All the fancy stuff is crap.”

“It’s best just to get the--”

“Am I dying right now? I’m dead.” Teddy stepped away from them.

“RIP Teddy,” Sirius retorted, grinning.

Jordan walked up to the group, saw Teddy’s expression and then turned on his heel and walked away again. “Nope!” He said. “Not getting into that!”

“Annwyl, remember what I said. If you’re mature enough to have it…”

Teddy groaned louder. “Dad!” But he was smiling, and Sirius wagered he was making mental notes.

Remus put his arm around Teddy, leading them out. “Let’s get tea now, hmm?”

“Please. I need cakes to make up for this embarrassment,” Teddy muttered, but he leaned into Remus, grinning.

“Me too, Teddy.”

They made a beeline for the teashop, and sat to eat far too many cakes and fantastic tea. Pleased with their day shopping, they headed back home, intending to chill for the rest of the evening. In the car on the way back, Teddy sat forward and tapped Sirius on the shoulder.

“Pada, can we do that face mask later?”

Sirius smiled over their shoulder at him. “Sure we can.”

“Cool! I’m just gonna be hanging in my room when we get home.” Teddy smiled.

“Alright. That sounds good to me.” Sirius smiled back before looking to Remus and squeezing their hand on his knee.

Remus smiled back at them before the light changed green.

Back home, with Bucky inordinately pleased to see them, they set their things down and all parted ways for a while to do their own thing. Sirius caught Remus in the kitchen getting a glass of water. “Hi caro.”

“Hi, did you put one of your new records on or is it face mask time.”

“New record is on!” They grinned. “Can’t you hear those wonderful tones? Nothing like an old vinyl.”

“Ah, yes.” Remus nodded before taking a sip of his water. “You snob.”

Sirius leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. “You love it.”

“I do.” He kissed them back. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” They kissed him again, unable to help themselves. “You have a good talk with Teddy?”

“Yeah, it was good.” He hugged them. “I explained that I’m not disappointed and I love him, and I am a little mad but only for breaking the rules. I also get that our relationship is different than yours and Teddy’s.”

Sirius nodded, hoping Remus didn’t feel too thrown by today’s events. “Yeah, they’re both wonderful relationships, you know? So long as he doesn’t feel… I dunno if ashamed is the right word, but I don’t want him to feel like I did.”

“Yeah, I know. I don’t want him to either. At the same time, I’m still a little upset.” Remus rubbed the back of his neck.

“I understand,” Sirius said, keeping their voice soft. “You’re allowed to be upset.”

“I’m a little upset that you let it happen too? I mean I’m glad that Teddy got the chat about being safe and smart, but I don’t know… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise caro. I understand why you’d be upset too. I… the way I see it, I’d rather have them do it here, than sneak around and do it somewhere less safe. And I’m sorry we didn’t talk about it, but I promised Teddy I wouldn’t tell.”

“I know, I get it.” Remus went to take another sip of water.

“Do you want me to talk to Teddy? We can set some more rules about what they can do here.”

Remus cringed a little. “I don’t know. Whatever you think is good.”

Sirius bit their lip, squeezing their hand on his waist. “Okay. I love you. I’ll talk to him and we can talk tonight, if you want?”

“Yeah, sure.” Remus nodded. “I’m gonna write while you’re at it.”

“Good idea. I’m gonna go hang out with Teddy then, alright? Come up if you need anything?”

“Yeah, that’s good. Have fun.” Remus smiled before taking his water with him into the living room.

Sirius watched him for a moment before heading upstairs. They were a little worried about him, hoping he was handling this okay, and wasn’t too hung up on being ‘the mean parent’. With a sigh, Sirius knocked on Teddy’s door. “Hey piccolino.”

“Hey Pada!” He was sitting on the floor on his laptop.

“Hey, looking studious kiddo. What you up to?” They came and sat next to him, not peering over his shoulder though. 

“How to make pasta with our new attachment. Dad said we could make some after school tomorrow.” He sat back against the bed. “Face mask time?”

“That sounds like a great idea.” Sirius smiled; god they were so proud. “Yep. Go wash your face and I’ll go grab it from my bathroom.”

“Okay!” Teddy scrambled up to his feet. Sirius laughed, climbing up and following him out of the room. 

A few minutes later, they were back on the floor leaning against Teddy’s bed, a bright blue jelly-ish feeling face mask plastered onto both their faces. Sirius had their arm around Teddy’s shoulders.

“You have a good day, piccolino?”

“Yeah, it was fun shopping.”

“It sure was.” They kissed the top of his head. “You feel better after your talk with Dad?”

“Yeah, he’s still mad though about it.” Teddy picked at the area rug under them.

Sirius nodded, humming in agreement. “Mhmm, but I think he’s allowed to be a bit upset? He’s a bit upset at me too for letting it happen. But that’s okay. We all understand each other. And we definitely can’t go through life expecting not to upset people sometimes. That’s no way to live, just pleasing everyone else.”

“I know, I just hate Dad being upset with me.”

“I know. I do too,” Sirius said, squeezing his shoulders. “Just give him time, piccolino.”

“Yeah, I’ll try.” He looked down at his lap.

“Hey, what’s happening? Talk to me, child.” They ruffled his hair.

Teddy leaned into them. “I -- I want Dad to be okay with me getting older but still treat me like you do.”

Sirius hummed, thinking for a moment. “Well, you know, your Dad and I raised you into this real human being, and it’s so rewarding—the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done—but it’s also sad because you’re our baby, and we took care of you so much, and now you need that care a little less… it’s an adjustment.” They kissed the top of his head. “Your Dad just likes knowing you’ll always be his kid, and you’ll always need his care to some extent. You doing exams and talking about uni and getting a boyfriend and exploring your sexuality, those probably make him feel like you need him a little bit less.”

Teddy frowned. “But I don’t need him less, I need him more.”

“Tell him that, piccolino. I think he would like that a lot.”

“I kind of tried to earlier, I thought… I don’t know.”

“Hmm… we could talk to him together, if you liked?”

Teddy shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”

“Alright. You know you can always come to me.”

“I know, and I do, don’t I?”

“You do. Even if it’s for bloody condoms.” Sirius chuckled, hugging him close.

“I just -- maybe he…”

Sirius kept quiet, letting Teddy puzzle his way through what to say as they pressed another kiss to his hair.

“Maybe he just thinks of me differently now that I have a boyfriend and we’ve done… stuff.”

Sirius frowned. “What do you mean differently?”

“Like I’m not his annwyl anymore. I’m Teddy the Teen who has sex and is getting ready to go off to Uni.”

“Oh.” Sirius bit their lip. “No, no, sweetheart,” they ushered out, hugging him so tightly. “Trust me, you will always be Dad’s annwyl, okay? He thinks the bloody world of you, would do anything for you. You’ll always be his annwyl.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course,” Remus said from the doorway with tears in his eyes.

Sirius kept their arm around Teddy, smiling softly at Remus and beckoning him into the room with a jerk of their head. “See? You’re always going to be our kid. In your fifties with grey hair and all, you’ll still be our baby.”

“Dad… I…”


	12. Chapter 12

Remus had finished writing his notebook, feeling a bit shit. He had been thinking a lot of his own dad recently with Ro going off to Uni and all the chatter about it with everyone else. He lost his Dad while at Uni, and it was making him feel all these feelings on top of the ones he was having over Teddy growing and being angry with Sirius now. It was just a lot, and it was worse with how strange things were with his own son and himself at the moment.

So, he decided to go upstairs to maybe talk to either Teddy or Sirius… or just wait for them to stop with chatter and ask Sirius for advice in their own room. When he got to the top of the stairs he heard Teddy say that he hated Remus being upset with him, making Remus’ chest twist. He stopped on the landing and leaned against the wall near the door as he tried to collect himself.

It didn’t get easier from there though because Teddy went on to say he wanted Remus to be okay with him getting older, but he still wanted to be treated the way Sirius treated him. He took a deep breath, trying not to outright cry as Sirius told Teddy exactly how Remus felt. Of course they knew how he was feeling and thinking about everything, even if they haven’t talked about it too much.

After Sirius’ little monologue, Remus heard Teddy pause for a moment before he said, “but I don’t need him less, I need him more”. The tears started to come then. He had been doing so well to hold it off, but that was what pushed him over the edge. He knew Teddy was always going to need him. Remus still needed his mam and he was in his forties now.

Remus was absolutely wrecked when Teddy followed all that with saying that Remus probably thought differently of him. He thought that Remus didn’t think of him as his annwyl any longer. He attempted to collect himself as Sirius rambled off about how Teddy would always be his Dad’s annwyl but he was still a mess when he got to the door.

“Of course,” Remus said when he was able to get himself to the doorway and speak.

Sirius has their arm around Teddy, hugging him tightly. “See? You’re always going to be our kid. In your fifties with grey hair and all, you’ll still be our baby.”

“Dad… I…”

Remus went over to sit on Teddy’s other side and wrap his arms around them. “You’re always going to be my annwyl and fy mach i.  _ Always _ , okay? There’s nothing you can do to change that.” He held Teddy tight while sniffling. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, and I say that to your Pada a lot but I’m lying to them because it’s you. Sorry Sirius.” He sniffled.

Sirius chuckled from Teddy’s other side. “That’s okay because I’m lying when I say it to your Dad too.”

Teddy gave a little laugh, leaning his head on Remus’ shoulder. “Okay.”

“You’re so fantastic and I’m so proud of you, Teddy. Even if you’re getting your face mask all over my shirt.” He rubbed Teddy’s back.

He bolted upright, grimacing. “Sorry!”

“Bright blue face masks aren’t too conducive to heart to hearts,” Sirius said, as if it were an age old proverb.

“It’s okay, come back here.” Remus hugged Teddy again. “I had spit up and throw up and god knows what on my shirts from you in the past. I’m sure the face mask is the cleanest.”

Teddy laughed, cuddling back against him. “Ew Dad, gross!”

“You did it!” He held Teddy like he did when he was a toddler or little kid and upset about something. “There’s so much changing and I’m scared and nervous and hurt about somethings, but I’ll adjust. I’m nervous that you won’t need me even though that’s not true. And don’t get me wrong, I’m upset about last night, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re my kid. There’s been plenty of times I’ve been upset with your Pada but we worked it out and got past it.”

Sirius smiled, nudging up next to Remus to kiss Teddy’s forehead. “Exactly. He’s been real upset with me before. That’s just what happens sometimes when you love people a lot.”

Teddy sighed. “I will always need you, Dad. I’m sorry I upset you.”

Sniffling, Remus nodded. “It happens. It’ll be okay.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“I'm still not sure how to deal with all this myself. I don’t want you to be unsafe, but it’s hard to wrap my head around it all. When I was a teen I didn’t have any interest in relationships or sex because that was just who I was. So I have no clue how to parent it.”

“Right,” Teddy said softly.

“I’m the other end. When I was a teen sex was a big no-no, or relationships in general, especially the kind I was interested in, so it was taboo, and that meant I snuck around a lot and was probably quite unsafe.” Sirius bit their lip, smiling over at Remus. “And I don’t want that for you either.”

“So, your Pada and I need to navigate this too, and right now I think we’re all kind of just floating in this weird place.” Remus looked to his son, who was resting against him still.

“Yeah… I’m sorry I’ve done that to you.”

“Teddy you’ve got nothing to be sorry for, sweetie. I keep saying, this is natural. You’re allowed to have these feelings and thoughts, we just need to navigate it together.”

“Don’t be sorry for that.” Remus shook his head. “I’d say you should and are sorry for breaking the rules though.” He gave Sirius a look.

Both they and Teddy looked abashed. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

“So, where do we go from here?” Remus rubbed Teddy’s back, glancing to Sirius.

They gave him a bewildered look, shrugging. “Ground rules? Ones that I’m not going to low-key allow Teddy to break?”

Remus snickered, still upset at Sirius over that. He wanted to just be over it because it felt silly to be mad at them for it. But they broke their usual strong parenting team with not much thought. “What kind?”

“I dunno. Maybe this is something you and I talk about, Rem, then come back to Teddy with?”

Teddy fidgeted a bit between them.

“Maybe we should talk with Teddy? Since he’s old enough to be doing these things, maybe he should get to talk about it with us?” Remus ran a hand through his curls because Sirius apparently got their face mask on him. “Though maybe we clean faces? How long til you wash this off?”

“Oh god, I forgot.” Sirius laughed.

“You  _ forgot _ , Pada?” Teddy shook his head.

“Alright alright, it’s my old brain clearly.” Sirius ruffled Teddy’s hair. “Let’s wash this off then come back and chat, huh?”

“I’ll stay here.” Remus laughed at Sirius.

“Alright,” Sirius hummed, leaning over to kiss Remus’ forehead before heading into the bathroom with Teddy.

He smiled, watching them both go off before standing up and grabbing a tissue from where they sat on Teddy’s vanity. The thought that Teddy worried about Remus changing his opinion of him was killing him. No matter what Teddy was always going to be his kid, and he loved him to pieces. There was no actual basis for how to parent these parts of teenage hood because Remus just wasn’t interested when he was a teen. His parents didn’t have any rules because they didn’t need to.

After a few minutes Sirius and Teddy came back in with clean faces. Teddy’s hair was a little wet, probably because Sirius had to get the mask out. “Your skin looks amazing.” Remus grinned at them both.

Sirius’ cheeks flushed a little and Teddy grinned back. “Thanks Dad,” he said, coming back over to sit in Remus’ lap.

Remus’ heart swelled because Teddy wanted to be close to him. “So, what should we do about this? I think it’d be a little different if the boyfriend wasn’t living with us, but that’s okay.”

Sirius sat behind Remus on the bed, putting a leg either side of him. “Well, Jordan’s not going to live here forever, but we can figure that out when we get to it.”

“Until then, what are we going to do?” Remus held Teddy close.

“I dunno,” he said. “I like Jor being here.”

“I know, piccolino. But I think rules are important, especially all three of us talking about them. I don’t mind the idea of you hanging out but Jordan is still gonna stay in the sunroom, okay?”

“Right, you shouldn’t be staying in the same room together overnight. Unless you're at a sleepover with others.”

Teddy nodded. “Okay, I get that. What about not having the door closed?”

Remus wasn’t sure how to answer that one. “My gut is still saying door open.”

“Okay…” Teddy looked to Sirius, who stayed quiet.

“Would you like to make a case for it otherwise?” He asked Teddy.

Teddy bit his lip before answering. “I guess… I… I dunno. I don’t know how the door closed would make a difference?”

“Okay, why?” Remus asked.

“Ah… I think we’d just carry on with the door open, sometimes.”

Remus felt Sirius’ breath hitch in the way it did when they were trying not to snort with laughter.

“Even with Pada and I around?”

Teddy nodded, cheeks bright red.

Remus was unsure of what to say. “Okay…”

Sirius cleared their throat. “That’s teenage hormones for you, I suppose? But I don’t think that means we should give you free range. But… I do think having privacy is important.”

“I agree privacy is important but, what’s the limit if we’re not giving free range?” Remus asked as Teddy shifted a little uncomfortably in his lap.

“I think… some of this will just be trusting you, Ted… but what if, you can have the door closed sometimes, but only when…” Sirius trailed off, and Remus glanced up to see them looking thoughtful.

“When?” Teddy raised an eyebrow, cheeks still red.

“Well, I was going to say no getting up to anything when your dad and I are out, because I want you to be safe, but I know that you’re uncomfortable with that, Remus, and I don’t think that’s really fair on you either, piccolino.”

“What about a curfew or times when the door can be closed or needs to be open?” Remus offered, feeling a little uncomfortable but he didn’t like any other options. If Teddy would carry on either way, then what was the point?

“I like that,” Sirius agreed, squeezing Remus’ shoulder.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Teddy looked up at them both, smiling slightly.

“So on school nights maybe it has to be open after dinner and on the weekend…”

“9pm?” Sirius offered.

“Yeah.” Remus agreed with Sirius. “That’s not to say you can’t hang out with Jordan after that, but not behind closed doors.”

Teddy nodded. “Okay. I understand.”

“And you can always go to Pada if you need anything. I know you’re most comfortable with that.” Remus looked to Teddy.

“Right, I know.”

“Not to mention I’m pretty much always going to feel comfortable answering questions or anything else,” Sirius added, squeezing Remus’ shoulder again. “Your Dad might not.”

“Right and it’s not because of you, annwyl. It’s just how I am being grey-ace.”

Teddy nodded, looking a little more relaxed. “Yeah.”

“Sometimes if sex is even mentioned I feel queasy.”

“Oh… yeah. Okay, I’ll go to Pada.” Teddy smiled at Remus, then Sirius.

“But I don’t mind sometimes, if you need to talk.”

“Yeah. I’ll… make sure you’re not queasy.”

Remus laughed. “You can just ask how I’m feeling about it, okay? Just ask before jumping into it and it’s okay. I want to be there for you when you need me.”

Teddy smiled. “You always are.”

Remus kissed the top of Teddy’s head. “I always will be. If I’m queasy, we’ll get Pada.”

Sirius laughed. “Good idea.”

“Right now I’m not queasy, so it’s okay. Hence the lube conversation.” He chuckled.

Sirius squeezed his shoulder again. And some other things probably, they were thinking. 

Teddy groaned. “I know, no flavoured stuff!”

“I don’t think it’s as safe as they claim, is all,” Remus insisted.

“I know caro.” Sirius grinned. “Shall we go have a cuppa? Maybe think about dinner?”

“We should probably start dinner.” Remus hugged Teddy. He hugged back tightly.


	13. Chapter 13

Sirius was exhausted as they sat on the sofa, finally sitting down after dinner, some housework and playing with Bucky in the garden for a while. They had had an emotional day, after everything that had been revealed, and were dying for a conversation with Remus to check in with him.

Eventually Remus came through with a cup of tea and some cookies, a book tucked under his arm. He had his glasses on, looking very professorial. “Hi.”

“Hi caro,” they said, grinning as they tucked their legs up onto the sofa. “You alright?”

“I’m tired, but okay.” He set his mug and book down on the side table then took a bite of one of the cookies.

“Mm, about the same.” They shifted up to make room, patting the seat next to them. “There a cookie there for me too?”

He handed Sirius one before setting the rest down by his tea.

“So,” Sirius started, taking a bite of their cookie. “Shall we talk about what the hell happened today?”

“Yeah, I think we have to.” He raised an eyebrow.

Sirius bit their lip, hoping he wouldn’t be too mad at them, but they really wanted to stand their ground on this. “Yeah.”

“I’m upset that you knew what was going on but didn’t tell me. I’m sure you probably thought I was going to freak out, but I still think there should have been a conversation. We’re meant to be a team.” He turned to look at them.

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, nodding. “I can see why you’re upset. And in hindsight I think we should have had a conversation too, but I wanted to let Teddy… well, make his own decisions, and I wanted to make sure he was safe.”

Remus nodded, frowning a little. “Did you not trust me?”

Sirius opened and closed their mouth, thinking for a moment. “I… I don’t know if it was trust or not. I wanted to… I don’t know, protect you, to an extent?” They pursed their lips, thinking. “I knew you were feeling things about Teddy growing up, and unsure about it all, and so I didn’t want you to worry, or to project that onto Teddy?”

“I'm upset that you thought this was how to protect me. I’m upset that you didn’t bring it up with me. I understand, but I’m upset. It was worse probably finding out how I did.”

“I know.” Sirius put their hand on his knee. “I’m sorry.”

Remus nodded, taking a sip of his tea.

“I don’t know that I’m sorry for letting it happen, but I am sorry for not telling you.”

“I understand.” Remus set his mug down again.

Why did Sirius get the feeling he was going to do something? They bit their lip. “Can I do anything?”

“I don’t think so?” Remus reached for the remote. “There’s nothing that can be done now, right?”

“Yeah.” Sirius snuggled closer and kissed his cheek. “I do love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed the top of their head.

“I can make it up to you?” Sirius murmured, wrapping their arm around his waist.

“Make it up to me?” Remus laughed.

“Mmhm. Or at least be extra nice for a while?”

“Sirius, I’m not sure if that’s the way to go with this.” He shook his head.

They chuckled, burying their face in his neck. “I’ll do other things too. Be better about talking to you and not be so lenient with Teddy, but I figured a blowie might sweeten the deal.”

“ _ Sirius _ .”

“Okay okay.” They pulled back, kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He reached for another cookie. “I understand why you’re lenient, but there needs to be  _ some  _ rules. It really hurt that you went behind my back, you know?”

Sirius sniffed. “I know, and I am sorry. I’m trying to figure out a balance, and I’m very sorry I hurt you. It absolutely wasn’t my intention.”

“I get it, and I know it wasn’t your intention.”

“I won’t ever do it again. If Teddy comes to be about something like this, I promise I’ll bring it to you.”

“Well, I’m not sure what’s left that they’ll come to you with like this.” He laughed.

Sirius bit their lip around a smile. They hoped Teddy would come to them for advice on anything like this. They didn’t think they’d mind answering embarrassing questions if it meant Teddy would be safe and happy.

“Okay, there’s probably a lot.” Remus sighed.

“Yeah, maybe a few things,” they said, sighing softly.

“I just… it just felt like you both didn’t need me.”

Sirius cuddled closer. “We’ll always need you, Daddy. Me and Teddy.”

“I know that, but it just was weird to think you two were having this whole conversation and situation without me.” He put an arm around them.

“Yeah, I know that now, I shouldn’t have kept it from you.”

Remus nodded. “It hurts that I made Teddy feel like they had to keep it a secret from me too.”

“I don’t think they felt they  _ had _ to, just that it might… upset you less?”

“Right.” He closed his eyes.

Sirius felt awful. They knew Remus would react to this, but he was more upset by Sirius and Teddy’s conversation than the actual relationship development. Not sure what else to do, Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek, lingering there.

“I think I’m going to take my book and tea upstairs.” He let out another sigh at the kiss.

“Okay. Do you… want some company? Or would space be better.”

“Space I think.”

They nodded, trying not to feel even worse. “Okay. I’ll stay down here for a little while.”

“Thank you. I love you.” He kissed their forehead.

“I love you too,” they murmured, leaning into his touch. “So much.”

Remus smiled before gathering his things and heading for the stairs.

Sirius let out a sigh as he left the room. They felt so awful. They thought they were doing the right thing, so excited to be a good parent and have Teddy trust them, to give him everything they couldn’t have, that they didn’t stop to think about how Remus might feel about it.

Not long after Remus went up, Sirius heard footsteps on the stairs. They hoped that it was their husband, instead it was Teddy holding his water bottle cover in stickers. “Oh, hi Pada.”

They cleared their throat, glad they weren’t crying. “Hi piccolino. Alright?”

“Yeah. Just came down to get more water. Are you all right…” He took a seat on the sofa.

Sirius put their arm around him. “Yeah. Your dad and I were just having a conversation is all.”

“Oh, one that didn’t end well? You look sad.”

God, he was so intuitive. “It was okay. He’s upset with me for not telling him about what we talked about. And I don’t like upsetting him. But it’s okay.”

“Oh, I thought we fixed it earlier.” Teddy bit his lip.

“We did, sweetie. We fixed it with us, and now it’s just me and your Dad and that’s okay.” They half wished they hadn’t mentioned it to Teddy, but they didn’t like keeping things from him.

“Right.” He tapped his water bottle. “Thanks for earlier.”

“Of course,” Sirius murmured, kissing his forehead. “Get some sleep.”

“I will Pada. I’ll go get water and then crawl into bed.” Teddy hopped back up onto their toes. Sirius smiled, watching him go into the kitchen, then back up the stairs.

God, they felt so bad, knowing Remus was upstairs, upset with them. Especially when they realised they didn’t want to keep things from their son, but felt entirely justified keeping things from Remus. It was unfair.

But they couldn’t just sit down here, as much as they just wanted to mope and have a bit of a cry. They took a breath, rubbing their hands over their face, before they got up and started up the stairs to bed. They stopped in, listening for a moment to hear Teddy snoring softly, before going into their bedroom.

“Hi caro.”

“Hi,” he muttered, not looking up from his book.

Sirius bit their lip, going over to the dresser to get into their pyjamas, glancing over to Remus. He didn’t even look away from the book to take a sip of his tea. Sirius sighed, quickly shrugging on their pyjamas. He’s probably just engrossed in his book, they told themselves, gingerly climbing into bed next to him.

“If you need to turn the fairy lights on?” Remus gestured to them as he turned the page.

“Alright,” Sirius murmured, leaning up to turn them on, then turning off the overhead light. “Your book’s good?”

“Mmmhmm.” He nodded.

Shit, Sirius had really upset him. They snatched up their phone, scrolling mindlessly through their feed in an attempt to distract themselves. They took a deep breath after realising they hadn’t taken any notice of the last handful of posts, and threw their phone down. “I’m really sorry you’re upset and I know you’re allowed to be mad but I really hate it when you ignore me and I feel really awful. I’m so sorry, Remus, I—”

“Sirius, slow down.” He stuck his bookmark in his book and sat up. “I’m sorry you thought I was ignoring you, I was just really into the book. I am upset with you, but I’ll get over it. We talked it out. I’m not ignoring you, though, I promise that.”

They stopped, looking over at him. “Oh… I thought you were giving me the cold shoulder.”

“I wasn’t, I’m sorry you thought I was.” He furrowed his brow. “Are you feeling guilty or something?”

“Yeah, very guilty.”

Remus shook his head. “What’s wrong?”

“I… I just feel bad about keeping it from you, and then, Teddy came downstairs to get a drink whilst I was still downstairs, and I caught myself thinking  _ I don’t want to keep things from him _ .”

“Yeah? I understand you and Teddy were having a moment.”

“I… I don’t know what I wanted.” Sirius shifted down the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I think, I’m so worried about being a good parent, I forgot about being a good spouse for a while, and I hate that.”

“I get it, Sirius.”

“Okay,” they mumbled, letting their eyes close.

“It hurt that you were having this seperate moment you were keeping from me, but I’ll get over it. That’s not even it… it’s just, you were parenting without me and disregarded rules we had set out -- or I thought we set out together.”

Sirius nodded. “Okay.”

“You’re a great parent and a great spouse. You just were trying to take care of Teddy.”

“Yeah, okay… Thank you.” Sirius smiled slightly at him, sort of hoping he’d go back to his book.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sad but I’m okay.”

“Sad? Do you need to talk about it more?”

They sat up, shaking their head. “I don’t think so. It won’t help. I just hate upsetting you.”

“If you don’t think it’ll help, okay.” He nodded. “I’ll get over it, love.”

“Alright.” Sirius took a breath and leaned forward, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“Get some sleep.”

“Night caro. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Remus kissed their forehead. “I’m off before you in the morning, remember.”

“Yeah, see you in the afternoon then?”

“Yep, Teddy and I are making pasta. I’ll probably be in the kitchen by the time you’re home.” He opened his book again.

“Mmm sounds good,” Sirius said, closing their eyes and drifting off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day, Remus was watching a few people climb the wall as he did some paperwork he couldn’t pass off at a table facing the arena. His Sunday had been filled with so many heavy conversations, he was glad to be at Recovery. Not to mention he ended the night with Sirius being emotional about how they had handled the situation. Remus wasn’t sure what to do because they had talked and made agreements with Teddy. What else could be done with them? He wished he knew and that Sirius would have told him when he had asked at the very least. He just had to hope he would get over Sirius not talking to him about it too.

Hopefully they were feeling better, but he hadn’t heard from Sirius at all that day. It was worrying, but they did get caught up a lot at work. Remus had to hope that was what Sirius was doing and not stressing over what had happened. Remus didn’t have much longer to worry over it because it was just about time to head home anyhow.

“Mr. Lupin,” a voice that he vaguely recalled spoke.

Remus turned around to see Jordan’s mother standing nearby.

She gave him a tight smile and stepped forward, hands clasped in front of her. “I’m sorry to come by your work.”

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded, looking around and hoping the dick of her husband wasn’t there. “It’s fine, what’s going on? I’m assuming it’s about Jordan. He’s doing fine.”  _ Fine enough for a child who was kicked out of his house. _

Bev looked uncomfortable, pursing her lips for a moment. “Yes, I wanted to ask how he was doing… I… it was his birthday, and I… I thought he might’ve replied to my text.”

“You can understand why he hasn’t, I hope.” Remus looked away for a moment. “He had a good birthday, we had a big party here and all his friends came. I understand he’s not interested much in reaching out.”

“I… yes. I can understand.” She smiled a little sadly. “I’m glad he had a good birthday.”

“Me too.” He nodded. “Are you okay, Bev?”

“Not really, no,” she said quite curtly, looking away for a moment before looking back. “I’d like to see Jordan, if you would.”

“I’m not sure it’s up to me.” Remus gestured to the tall chair at the table as he took the seat across from it.

Bev sat down opposite him, folding her hands on the table. “Well, will you tell him that I stopped by, and that I’d like to see him, and talk.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell him. I’m not sure he’ll say yes.” He cleared his throat. “I… being with someone like your husband is -- I know that it’s difficult.” God, he hoped that came out right. He had been so hung up on people putting so much blame on Bev for a while, but now face to face with her Remus felt so protective over Jordan.

Her eyebrows shot up for a split-second, before she recovered. If Remus hadn’t been watching so closely he thought he’d have missed it. “I… It can be… at times,” she said, almost a whisper.

“Yeah. I don’t know what I would have done if I were you, thankfully I got out of a relationship like that. I just know I’d do anything to protect Teddy.”

“Yes…” Bev’s frown deepened as she looked away again. “I don’t know that getting out is an option I have.”

“Why not?” Remus furrowed his brow. “I know it feels that you can’t get out, but I can tell you that there’s always that option.”

She just nodded, apparently lost in thought for a moment. “Perhaps.”

“Yeah. You think about it, Bev. I can tell you love your son.”

“I do,” she said softly, voice breaking just a little. “Very much so. I… just don’t know where to start.”

“Your son, he’s been trying to make this hard choice of what to do with his life. He could go live in a group home, move in with a foster family, or some other options. Jordan hasn’t made a move and I think it’s because he has some hope that you’re going to finally see the light. He loves you and misses you, but he can’t go back to that house. You have options too, and I have a friend who might be able to help.”

Bev stood up, discreetly wiping her eyes. “I need to think… but, tell Jordan I want to see him, and that I love him too.”

“I will.” Remus nodded. “See me… see me any time, okay?”

“Yes.” She went to turn away, before stopping and turning back just for a moment. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.” Remus smiled at her, praying to whatever that he had done the right things.

With a nod, she turned around and walked straight for the exit without looking back.

Well, Remus thought, what else could go on because lately everything was like a roller coaster. Now he had to deal with telling Jordan that his mother had shown up at work trying to get in touch with him. Remus was not looking forward to that conversation, but it was going to have to happen. It also had to happen without Sirius around.

When Remus got home Teddy was on the sofa with a textbook in front of her and a notebook on her lap. She was staring off into space, biting on the end of her pen. “Earth to Teddy. Earth to Annwyl.”

Teddy jumped, looking up. “Ah, hi Dad!”

He laughed a little. “You all right?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She was a little flushed, but looked back to her book. “Are you?”

“I’m all right. Is Pada home yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“I have to talk with Jordan about some things really quick, how much work do you have left?” Remus ruffled her hair.

Teddy shrugged. “A bit more. Jor’s in the sunroom.”

“Finish up, then we’ll make that pasta, huh?”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me.”

Remus left Teddy to finish her work to go back to the sunroom. He was surprised that Teddy wasn’t back in the room with him, or they weren’t on the sofa together. Maybe they needed some space, that was understandable.

With a knock on the doorframe Remus called in to Jordan through the opened door, “Hi Jordan, got a minute?”

Jordan had a smudge of pen at the corner of his mouth. “Hi, Remus. Yeah… anything to avoid English work.”

Remus came into the sun room, taking a seat on the desk chair. Jordan was sitting on the bed with his books spread around him. “Anything I can help with? I don’t think we’ll both end in tears like Teddy and I with chemistry.”

“It’s just a load of literature reviews. I just find them pretty boring.”

“Ah, okay. Sounds like fun to me.” He spun a little in the chair, thinking that he had to go about this like ripping a bandaid. “So, um… your mother stopped by Recovery today.”

“Yeah, you li--oh. She did?”

“Yeah… she said that she reached out to you on your birthday but didn’t hear back. She wanted to know if you’d be interested in seeing her and that she loves you.” Remus leaned forward a little.

Jordan nodded, rubbing a hand through his hair. “I… She text me, and I didn’t know how to reply, so I didn’t.”

“You didn’t have to. I’m just saying what she said, don’t worry. How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure. I do…. I do miss her.”

Remus patted his arm. “I’m sure you do. If you want to see her, we can arrange something. Teddy and I could go with you if you want or not. It’s up to you.”

Jordan frowned. “Can I think about it?”

“No rush, kid.”

“Yeah… thank you.” Jordan looked back down at his book for a long moment. “Is she okay?”

“I think she’s all right, yeah.” Remus frowned, not sure how to answer that question. She probably wasn’t doing great mentally with her husband kicking her son out of the house. Nor was she probably okay dealing with someone like her husband every damn day.

“Oh… good.”

“She misses you so much though, I could tell.”

Jordan pressed his lips together. “Not… not enough to do anything about it.”

Remus felt as if he heart was breaking at the tone in his voice. He stood up and sat on the bed next to Jordan. “Look, adults suck. We do. We’re fucking shitty and make terrible choices sometimes. I think your mother loves you more than you think -- more than you know right now -- and I think that she’s made some bad choices.”

Jordan gave a sharp sniff. “Yeah.”

“I know she’s hurt you a lot with these choices, and you two have a lot to deal with, but I have some hope that she can make the right choice eventually.” Remus put an arm over Jordan’s shoulders.

“I hope so too.”

“No matter what, Sirius and I will have your back -- as well as the rest of the family. You got support.”

“Thank you. I’m… so grateful you took me in.”

“You’re a good kid Jordan, we’re happy to have you around.” Remus gave him a squeeze.

Jordan chuckled, hugging him back.

“Lily asked me to tell you also that she’d like to do lunch this weekend to chat about things. Again, no rush or pressure.”

“Ah, yeah… I’ve been thinking lots.”

“I’m sure you have. Remember, I’m around to chat whenever you need me, okay?”

The teen nodded, letting out a little breath. “Thank you, again.”

“No worries, kid. I’m going to go see if Teddy is ready to start the pasta. If you want, come into the kitchen to do your homework. Or join us, all right?”

“Yeah. I’ll just… finish this bit, then I’ll come in?”

Remus got out of bed. “Sure, we’ll be there.”


	15. Chapter 15

Sirius was frazzled to say the least, when they stepped off the bus outside the house. Their classes had overran, then Hestia had had to run home at short notice for an appointment with Connor--which Benjy was meant to take him to but he was at home with a stomach bug and Ascendence were  _ two _ teachers down. Sirius had been putting out fires all day, and now they just wanted to sit down with a glass of wine.

Infinitely glad to be home, Sirius walked through the door to the smell of Italian food, and felt all the knots of stress in their shoulders unwind just a little. “Hi you lot!”

“Hi Pada!” Teddy was wiggling her hips as she was doing something with flour at the counter.

“Hi Sirius.” Jordan was at the table with a textbook.

“How was your day?” Remus asked as he looked up from Teddy’s laptop.

“Ahh, hello my wonderful family.” Sirius threw themselves into a seat. “It was fucking  _ horrific _ .”

“What happened?” Remus looked concerned.

“Everything. Two classes overran. Marly was caught up because one of our advanced class sprained her ankle, which meant we had to try and rearrange locations. Then, Hestia had to bail on her last class to take Connor to a check up because Benjy is already off sick with a stomach bug.” They puffed out their cheeks before putting their head on the table.

“Ah, poor things.” Remus frowned before telling Teddy to do something. “Sorry you had a crap day.”

“It was just long and stressful and busy. But now I’m back home.”

Jordan stood up. “I’m going to put my stuff away. I’ll be right back.”

“Alright,” Sirius mumbled, not looking up as they reached out for Remus’ hand.

“I’m all floury and eggy.” Remus held up his messy hands as Jordan went off.

“I really couldn’t care after today,” Sirius said, lifting their head to give him a look.

Teddy made a noise. “Pada, we’re in the middle of pasta making.”

Sirius huffed, flopping back into their seat. “Alright, alright.”

“Sorry, I’m only allowed to do pasta things at the moment.” He snickered as Teddy bounced about.

“What’s next?” Teddy asked.

Sirius smiled at Remus, tugging the band out of their hair to run their fingers through it. “Next on the list is get Pada a glass of wine before they expire.”

“Pada!” Teddy waved a flour covered hand about.

Remus rolled his eyes as he went to look at the screen of the laptop, which was out of the way of the flour.

“Here, I’ll man the instructions, Remus.” They waved their hand, gesturing for him to pass the laptop over. “And you, darling, dearest husband, love of my life, get me a glass of wine?”

“Sirius, I’m covered in flour,” he said with a laugh. “I can’t touch a thing.”

Sirius groaned. “God, then what did I even marry you for?” They retorted, grinning broadly. There were endless reasons, of course. They heaved themselves up and over to the fridge, pouring a large glass of the open wine in the fridge.

Remus hadn’t responded as he was being bossed about by Teddy. It sounded as if pasta making was serious business. Smiling to themselves, Sirius took a seat back at the kitchen table, slipping off their shoes and getting to stretching out their feet as they watched their husband and child making pasta.

Teddy nearly jumped for joy as the pasta went through the roller. “Look! We have pasta!”

“We do, we do.” Remus gently held another small thing of dough.

Sirius grinned, clapping their hands. “It looks amazing you two!”

“I bet it’s gonna be so much better than the boxed stuff or when we do it by hand.” Teddy danced around a little.

“Oh, for sure. It’s going to be delicious.” Sirius took another drink of their wine, just as their phone rang. Seeing Marlene’s name pop up, they groaned and hit answer. “Hey Marly, what else has gone wrong today?”

“Wrong? No, no, Sirius! We’re going to be featured in Dance UK!” She sounded as if she was holding back a full out shriek. “A FULL SPREAD,” and there it was. “AND THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE PICTURES AND DO SOME VIDEOS! SIRIUS! THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR CHARITY TOO!”

Sirius had to hold the phone away from their ear for a moment. “THEY WHAT? MARLY. BREATHE!”

“I CAN’T BREATHE SIRIUS! WE’RE GOING TO BE IN A MAGAZINE AND SOME VIDEOS FOR THEIR SOCIAL MEDIAS AND THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT DIVERSITY!”

“YES! AHHH! MARLY THIS IS JUST WHAT WE NEEDED!”

“IT’S AMAZING!”

“YES! REMUS, REMUS!”

“What? What is it?” He was currently washing his hands and looking over his shoulder at them.

“We’re getting a full spread in Dance UK!”

“PADA!” Teddy jumped up and down again. “THAT’S SO COOL!”

Remus was beaming at them. “I’m so proud.”

“AHH!”

“OKAY! I GOTTA GO!” Marlene shrieked. “GOD, I AM GONNA BE FUCKED SENSELESS TONIGHT!”

“GOD, MARLENE I CAN HEAR YOU!” Remus shouted and Teddy put her hand over her face.

“Oh my god.”

“AHH! SORRY! HI REMUS, HI TEDDY! AND JORDAN? HI! AND BYE, ANYWAY! BYEEEEE!” 

Sirius blinked as Marlene hung up, sort of reeling.

“That’s amazing, Sirius. That’s going to be so great for the studio.” Remus wiped his hands dry.

“Isn’t it? God, we’re busy as shit already but it’s just going to take off even more!” Sirius couldn’t keep the grin off their face. That had turned a shit day into an amazing one.

Remus finally came over to wrap them up in a hug. “It’s good though. You’re doing some wonderful things.”

Sirius hugged him back so tightly, burying their face in his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“That must have made the day much better.” He rubbed their back and kissed Sirius’ temple.

“So much better.” Sirius sighed contentedly. “And then topped off with homemade pasta by my wonderful daughter and husband.”

“It’s going to be so good!” Teddy made a whooping noise as Remus pulled back.

“I’m gonna check on Jordan. I’m so proud of you, though, Sirius.”

Sirius grinned, trying not to preen. “Alright. Thank you!” They turned to Teddy. “Wanna come help out on the days they come interview? My amazing kid in a dance magazine.”

“I can?” Teddy did a pirouette. “That would be so awesome!”

“Of course you can! Look at that pirouette, that was fucking perfect. You  _ star _ .”

“I should be a dancing chef that rock climbs for fun.” She did another turn before going back to the pasta. “I’m going to make some pesto sauce for this, I think.”

“Yes, you should!” Sirius went to the sink to wash their hands. “You want a hand? I’ll sous chef for the dancing chef.”

“Please, Pada.” She hugged them. “I’m glad you’re happier today.”

Sirius bit their lip, hugging her back tightly. “I am too, sweetie. Being busy at work is great to take my mind off everything, but now I think it’s all okay.” They pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “And I’m so proud of you cooking up a storm.”

“And you and Dad are okay?” She peered at them.

“Yeah, we are piccolina, don’t worry. Your Dad and I will always be okay, no matter what.”

She nodded before stepping back. “Okay! Let’s get to work.”

Dinner, as entirely expected, was a roaring success. Teddy was an amazing cook and Sirius, Remus or Jordan wouldn’t stop talking about how wonderful it was, much to Teddy’s chagrin. It was a wonderful evening and after hanging out with the teens, doing some homework in front of the TV, then seeing them off to bed, Sirius ran themselves a well-deserved bath after the day.

They had the last glass of the wine bottle in their hand as they sank back into the water, letting out a sigh of relief. This was  _ exactly _ what they needed.

It was around fifteen minutes later when they decided to grab their phone and text Remus.

_ Carooo. How much do you love me? _

**I love you a lot.** **  
** **What do you want?**

_ A brownie? Pretty pleeease? _

**Really?** **  
** **It’s a weekday? Don’t you have work in the morning?**

_ Yes, and it’s going to be busy as fuck again _ _   
_ _ Your mam would say it’s for pain relief _ _   
_ _ After the day I’ve had _

Sirius snapped a quick selfie, with the biggest puppy dog eyes.

_ Image.jpg _ _   
_ _ Pretty please? _

**Is that the *best* idea?**

_ Dadddyyy _ _   
_ _ Share it with me then? _

**I have to be up early as well.**

Sirius grumbled, sliding down in the bath and taking a sip of their wine.

_ They’re not that strong, are they? _ _   
_ _ And it’s still kinda early _ _   
_ _ And I’m gonna be in a magazine _

**I’ll bring you a half up in a minute**

_ I love you I love you I love you _   
😍😘💙😍😘💙

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Sirius laughed, snapping another selfie of themselves blowing a kiss before setting their phone down on the side of the tub.

A few minutes later, Remus came into the bathroom with half a brownie in his hand. “Here you go.”

“I love you so much, to the ends of the earth. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I owe you the world.”

“Okay, I love you too.” He chuckled before handing them the brownie.

Sirius took it and took a bite, smiling. “What are you up to?”

“Rearranging the bookshelves.” Remus lingered by the doorway.

“Mm, sounds like a very typical Remus Lupin-Black evening activity.” They bit their lip, sipping their wine. “Do you want to sit with me for a little while? I want to hang out with you, but I don’t want to get out of the bath.”

Remus smiled as he leaned against the doorjamb. “I got all the books on the floor downstairs…”

Sirius smiled, biting their lip. “Ooh, poor books, however will they manage.”

“I know, the poor things.” He chuckled.

“What about your poor spouse, languishing alone?” Sirius grinned, teasing.

“I know, my poor spouse.”

“If you’re gonna come in, come in, you’re letting all the cold air in.” Sirius ate the last bit of their brownie, holding their hand out to him.

“It’s a  _ mess _ down there.”

Sirius laughed. “Sit with me for a half hour, then I’ll come down and help you tidy up?”

“You’ll be high and make it worse.” He laughed again as he took a step out the door.

“ _ Remus _ ,” they said, pouting. “Stop making me barter for time with my husband.” 

“ _ Sirius _ , stop pouting.” He shook his head.

They grinned broadly. “No way. Who do you take me for, Daddy?”

“I know, I should know better, huh? I’ll go clean up the books then we can hang out after.”

“Mmmhm, you should.” They took another drink of their wine. “Good compromise. Good luck.”

“All right, have a nice bath.” He laughed as he shut the door behind him, walking out.

Sirius laid back down, laughing to themselves. God, he was ridiculous, and they loved him so much. Intending to do nothing else but lie here in the water, Sirius turned on the hot tap with their foot, and finished off the rest of their wine.


	16. Chapter 16

For some reason, Remus was feeling off tonight. Probably their weekend feelings coming up now that he was home and the fact that he had seen Bev and dealt with all that with Jordan. He wanted to talk it out with Sirius, but he couldn’t and he still was upset with them since they sort of went behind his back over the weekend with the parenting stuff. None of that was going to be fixed tonight, he thought as he started on putting the books away after sorting them out into different piles.

Sorting through things always seemed to ease Remus’ mind. When he was stressed, he tended to tidy or reorganize things. One time he had touched Sirius’ records and that didn’t go over too well, since then he had stayed away from though bookcases. But books were always good because he could reorganize them any which way he wanted -- size, color, title, author, genre, ect. It was nice and calming.

The house was quiet with the exception of the record Remus had put on for background noise. Bucky was probably up in Teddy’s room for the night, as he usually was. Jordan was probably either out cold from an emotional day or tossing and turning with all of his options. Sirius was probably still in the bath getting all pruney enjoying a nice high. He hoped they weren’t too upset with him because he didn't want to join them earlier. Sometimes getting space while being married and having a child (now another kid to take care of) didn’t always happen when he needed it. Not that Remus could complain about it, but it was what he wanted sometimes.

To his surprise, Sirius hadn’t come down to hang out with him to put the books away. By the time he was finished, Remus was still alone with his thoughts. He had assumed that Sirius would find their way down, but they hadn’t. That was okay, but Remus was a little worried, so he decided to head upstairs.

Just as he was at the top of the stairs, Sirius came out of their bedroom, with a towel wrapped around their waist, and their wine glass in one hand. They looked a little surprised to see him, but quickly smiled. “Hi caro. I was just coming to find you.”

“Oh, hey, I’m all done now.”

“Ah… I didn’t come to help… I must’ve lost track of time. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, come on, let’s go to bed. You can’t be walking around in a towel with company in the house.” He laughed, gesturing towards their room.

Sirius laughed, looking themselves over. “I’m decent!” they said, but did go into the bedroom, going over to turn the fairy lights on.

Remus shook his head, closing the door behind him. “Nice bath?”

“Mm, really good. I used that CBD bathbomb your mam gave me.”

“That’s good.” Remus crawled into bed under the covers. “It sounds nice.”

Sirius smiled, coming over and putting a hand on his leg. He felt them press a kiss to his shoulder before stepping away. “It was. We’ll have to find out where she got the bathbombs.”

“I’m sure she made them.” He reached for his phone.

“Oh really? Ah, of course she did.” Sirius chuckled to themselves, pulling on an oversized shirt--Remus thought it used to say PureFit but the print had long since worn off--before padding over to the bed.

“I’m so tired tonight. God, what a long weekend and a long day.” He groaned as he set his alarm.

“Mhmm, you can say that again. It’s been a whirlwind.” Sirius crawled under the covers next to him and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Sleep, caro,” they said softly, smoothing his hair back from his forehead and kissing him there.

Remus nodded, rolling on to his side as he set his phone down. “Yeah.”

Sirius ran their hand over his shoulder. “I love you. Night gorgeous.”

“Love you too, good night.” Remus closed his eyes, not feeling ready to fall asleep.

“Mmm, night.” Sirius cuddled up against his side, seemingly oblivious to Remus’ discomfort tonight, and a few moments later they were snoring softly.

Remus tossed and turned a bit before he could manage some rest.

The next morning, Remus woke up to his alarm blaring him out of a peaceful sleep. He scrambled out of bed as he grabbed his phone to shut it off. Still groggy, it took a moment for him to realize that Sirius was awake next to him.

“Oh, I’m surprised you’re up.” He laughed.

Sirius smiled at him. “Unfortunately. I have to leave the house in like… fifteen minutes. I’m just so bloody tired.”

“Wonder what that could be.” Remus kissed them on the cheek before shuffling over to his dresser. He needed a quick shower before going down to have some breakfast and get the kids going.

Sirius rolled their eyes, swinging their legs out of bed. “Definitely wasn’t the most hectic day of my life yesterday,” they said dryly, stretching before standing up and going to their dresser.

“I was thinking it was the wine and the brownie,” he muttered.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Sirius’ voice was muffled as they pulled on a shirt. “Do you need to shower? I just need to brush my teeth then I’ll run down and put coffee on.”

“Yeah, I need a shower.” He dug out one of the new Recovery shirts.

“Okay, give me thirty seconds.” Sirius pulled on some workout leggings on their way to the bathroom, flashing Remus a smile on the way.

Remus just nodded as they disappeared into the bathroom. He knew that he said he’d get over Sirius not clueing him in on some parenting stuff, but he hadn’t yet. It felt so stupid to dwell on because they were just doing what they thought was right. Not to mention thinking about Bev always led to Remus thinking about what could have been if he never left Fenrir.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius said from the doorway, toothbrush in their mouth.

“Huh?” He felt blindsided by the question.

“What’s wrong? You’re holding your shoulders in the way you do when you’re stressed or upset.” Sirius disappeared from the doorway. Remus heard the water run then Sirius reappeared a moment later, giving him an expectant look.

“I’m still not over everything and just some bullshit yesterday I had to deal with.” Remus shook his head, moving towards the bathroom with his clothes. “We don’t have time to get into it, we both have to get going.”

Sirius frowned, looking at their Apple Watch. “Okay. Can we talk tonight? I’m sorry there was bullshit yesterday.”

“All right, don’t worry. Have a good day. I’m so proud of you for Dance UK.” He kissed them on the cheek.

Sirius leaned into him, kissing him quickly on the lips. “Thank you. Have a good day too. I’ll make a big pot of coffee, yeah?”

“Yes, love you, bye.” Remus went into the bathroom, listening to Sirius hustle off.

The day seemed to creep by as Remus did some inventory -- which was the worst. He also had to do some interviews and neither of the people were very interesting or impressive. Thankfully Remus did not get a visit from Bev or Jordan’s father or anything crazy, and he was able to get home without adding another thing to his plate. Though, he did get home to find Jordan and Teddy making out on the sofa.

“Well… I guess I should be happy it was just some snogging.” He thanked all the gods that they weren’t naked or something as he went to the kitchen to make some tea.

“And the doors aren’t closed either,” Teddy said, suddenly finding her voice.

“The sass.” Remus shook his head, filling up the kettle as Jordan made a noise.

“Just the truth!” Teddy said, laughing. 

“ _ Teddy _ ,” Jordan hissed.

Thankfully, Teddy didn’t give another quip and the pair were quiet whilst Remus made tea. He wasn’t in the mood for a sassy Teddy, even when she could be endearing with it at times. Not that he was currently in the mood for too much.

Just as Remus was pouring tea the front door opened, sending Bucky barking. “Hi you lot!” Sirius called.

“Hey Pada!” Teddy yelled and Jordan also greeted Sirius as Remus watched the tea brew.

“Hello spawn. Good day at school?” Sirius chattered, in the living room by the sounds of it, then Remus heard them walk into the kitchen behind him. “Hello gorgeous husband.”

“Hi Sirius.” Remus turned around to greet them. Sirius was holding a bouquet of peonies in one hand and a flat red box in the other, smiling softly at him. “What are these for?” He laughed, leaning against the counter.

Sirius grinned. “Well, they’re for you,” they said, as if it were obvious. They held the box out and Remus swiftly realised it was a heart-shaped chocolate box.

“Oh, why?” He took the chocolate box.

“Because you’re my husband and I love you,” Sirius said, chuckling. “I saw the peonies in the florist across the street and they screamed  _ you _ .”

“Thank you.” Remus smiled, moving to find one of their vases.

“And heart shaped confectionery has made me laugh for nearly two decades.” Sirius caught his arm on the way past and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I love you caro.”

“I love you too.” He kissed the back before going to grab the large mason jar like vase.

“How was your day?” Sirius leaned against the counter, watching him.

Moving back to the sink, Remus grabbed the scissors from the drawer to trim the flowers. “Today was good. Maybe a little slow. How was yours?”

“Mm, better than yesterday.” Sirius shifted, biting their lip. “Today was good for you. What happened yesterday?”

“Stuff you don’t want to talk about.” Remus tried to be vague about it because he didn’t want Sirius to go down that thought process.

“Oh…” Sirius frowned, looking a little hurt. “Stuff with Jordan?”

“Yeah. It’s nothing bad, but just stuff.” He took the flowers out of the paper.

“Mm… how can I support you?” 

“I’m not really sure, but I appreciate you asking.” Remus began to trim the peonies.

Sirius skirted around to fill the vase with water then set it back next to him. “I don’t want you to handle this alone just because Sirius has some deep seated bullshit, you know?”

“I’m not alone, I have Lily and everyone else.” He continued to cut the stems. 

A few moments later Sirius put their hand on his arm, gently stopping him. “You’ve barely looked at me since I got home, and your shoulders are all tight. Talk to me?”

“I’m sorry,” Remus spoke softly as he went to place the flowers in the water. “I’m just trying… I don’t know. I’m trying to sort through things and I’m trying to get over what we talked about the other night.”

Sirius bit their lip, looking remorseful. “Okay. You can talk to me about things with Jordan, if you think it will help? I’ll be okay. And I’m really sorry, still. I thought being normal might help you come to terms with it more but maybe not.”

“I don’t want to stir things up there, Sirius, you’ve been doing so well.” He picked up the vase. “And it’s okay. Being normal is okay and I will get over it.”

“I know, but if  _ you’re _ not doing so well, I want to help.” Sirius took a breath. “And it’s not getting over it, Remus. You’re coming to terms with the fact I made a big mistake and didn’t tell you about something when we’re meant to be a team.”

“Yeah, you did and we all make mistakes sometimes. I have plenty of times. I understand why you did it, so I just need to get over it.”

“Stop saying that, it’s like you’re making your feelings invalid. You’re not getting over it, you’re dealing with it, and it’s different.” Sirius ran a hand through their hair, leaning against the counter more heavily.

“Okay, I’m dealing with it.” He nodded before moving towards the kitchen table to put the flowers in the middle of it.

Sirius made a little sighing kind of noise, but didn’t say anything else.

“What should we do for dinner tonight? Maybe that leftover pasta and add some chicken to it?” Remus asked loud enough for the teens to hear him as well.

“Mhmm,” Sirius hummed.

“Ooh!” Teddy appeared in the doorway. “Well, there’s broccoli too and green beans, and some cherry tomatoes. I can put those in!” She bounced over to the fridge to start pulling things out.

“Yes, my little chef.” Remus kissed the top of her head as Jordan came trailing in behind her.

“Jor, will you wash these for me?” Teddy said, head in the fridge as she held a bag of green beans out to him.

“On it.” He took the bag before walking over to the sink.

“I’m gonna go get changed,” Sirius said, grabbing their hoodie from where they’d slung it over the back of a chair and heading upstairs.

Remus frowned as he finally went to take a drink of his tea.

“Pada picked you out some pretty flowers, Dad.”

“Yeah, they did.” He watched his daughter balance everything while he picked up the tea and box of chocolates.

“They’re really nice,” Jordan added, smiling slightly. 

Remus agreed, taking a seat at the table as he noticed a little gift tag on the chocolate. He turned it over to see a little note written in Sirius’ script:

_ Remus. _ _   
_ _ Caro, my Austen heroine, my best garbage, the ever-reigning King of Sleep. My silver fox, climbing god of a husband.  _ _   
_ _ I love you so much _ _   
_ _ Your secretly sappy spouse, _ _   
_ __ Sirius xxx

He smiled, resting his head on his hand. At first Remus felt like shit for having the gut reaction of these gifts being only given because Remus had been angry with them. He wasn’t  _ over it _ , but the gifts were sweet. If only he knew how to fix his feelings easily, at least Sirius wasn’t just giving up on him even if they were probably annoyed.


	17. Chapter 17

Sirius sat on the end of the bed, letting out a breath. They had bought Remus the flowers and chocolates because they had seen them whilst running to the cafe to get lunch, but they also wanted to get him something to remind him how much they really loved him. They had a distinct feeling it didn’t quite go over like that for Remus though; he seemed much less enthused than they imagined, and he did say he was still upset with them about not keeping him in the loop. They understood that, of course he was allowed his feelings, but Sirius just really wanted to fix it.

Well, they couldn’t hide up here forever. So, in their sweats and their favourite shirt of Remus’ they had commandeered--the orange one with the hand positions, the one he had worn on their second date--they went back downstairs.

In the living room Sirius found Remus sitting on the sofa, with the box of chocolates they had bought open in front of him. “Hi caro,” they said, wondering if he had read the tag.

Remus swallowed before reaching for another chocolate. “Hi, these are good. The note was sweet too.”

Sirius chuckled, feeling some of their worry ebb. “Almost like I know you well, huh?” They crossed over to the back of the sofa, leaning over to kiss the top of his head.

“Ha yes.”

“Are the kids doing dinner?”

“Yeah, Teddy told me off for having chocolates before dinner.” He gestured to the three empty spaces in the box.

Sirius laughed. “God, you’ve switched. She’s the parent today huh? No sweets before dinner Remus John.”

“She just wants to make sure I have room for her delicious food.” He put the top on the box.

“That’s very true.” Sirius skirted around and sat next to him. “I’m glad you like them, though.”

“They’re good, where did you get them?”

“There’s a little artisan chocolatier opened up across the street from the second studio. There’s like a little courtyard, it’s got a florist, a jewellers, a chocolatiers, a little clothing boutique.”

“That sounds really nice.”

“We can go for a look at some point, if you want? Come meet me after work--I think they’re open later on Thursdays.”

“Sure we can do that. I bet Teddy would like to come too.” Remus took a sip of his tea.

“Mhmm, I agree.” Sirius smiled, reaching out to take his tea and take a sip of their own. 

Remus set the box aside and then grabbed his phone. Sirius hummed, drinking some more tea. “Good tea, caro.”

“Yeah? It’s that fancy shit we picked up at that fancy store.”

“Mm, it’s good.” They held it back out to him, trying to read him and how he was feeling. “You had a good day, yeah?”

“Yeah, boring but good. How about you?” He took the tea.

“Less busy. Marly and I were planning some stuff for the Dance UK interview at lunch, and we had to cover Ben’s classes again, he’s still not well. Though, we did advertise for two teaching positions, so that’s good. Takes some weight off us.”

Remus nodded. “That’s good. Reggie is ill now too, hopefully Hes doesn’t get it.”

“Oh god, he is? Damn, I bet Hes is taking all the multivitamins.”

“I asked Reg if he needed soup or anything and his response was that green faced emoji.”

Sirius grimaced. “Shit. I might text him, see if they want us to take Connor or something. Provided Benjy’s mum doesn’t already have him.”

“I know Connor has the same thing and Reggie said that Hes’ sister actually had him last night at least.”

“Oh jeez, well if Connor has it too we’re not having him. I’m keeping that illness out of my house,” Sirius said, chuckling.

“Right, the four of us do not need to get ill.”

“Nope. Remember when the three of us had the flu last year? Horrific.”

Remus made a face before taking a drink of his tea. “I don’t need to remember that. Teddy actually slept in our bed like when she was a kid.”

Sirius laughed, letting their head fall on his shoulder. “I remember. Snuggled between us with that unicorn stuffie.”

“And Bucky at the end of our feet. Good thing we have a big bed. God, we were all so ill.”

“It was awful. Never again. Flu shots every winter, hand sanitiser at the ready, keep the sick people away.” 

Remus agreed with a laugh.

“DAD! PADA! DINNER!”

“Coming, annwyl.” Remus patted Sirius’ leg before standing up.

A few hours later found Sirius at the coffee table, attempting to help Teddy with the end of her design homework, with Remus and Jordan sat on the sofa, talking literature reviews. Everyone was nearly done, though, and soon enough the teens were heading off to bed. They all said goodnight and Teddy and Jordan headed to their bedrooms whilst Sirius laid back on the floor and puffed out their cheeks. Homework was never their forte, they never used to do it unless it was for their grade.

“I think I’m going to go read.” Remus stood up from the sofa.

Sirius tilted their head to look at him, still laying back on the area rug. “Mind if I come upstairs with you, or do you want some space?”

“Ah, you can come up if you want, I’m just reading.” He laughed before starting for the stairs.

“Alright. I’ll tidy everything up down here, then I’ll be up?”

“Sure.”

Sirius gave him a smile before heading into the kitchen to tidy up. They didn’t need to do too much, just set the dishwasher going and let Bucky out. After whistling for him to come back in and locking up, Sirius headed upstairs, Bucky hot on their heels to go back into Teddy’s room. As always, like a routine they had, Sirius paused outside to hear her snoring away, before going into their own room.

Remus was sat up in bed reading his book. He was sitting cross legged with his elbows on his knees sort of slouching a bit.

“Hi caro. That still the same book you were reading last night?”

“I didn’t read last night, but yeah the night before.” He nodded.

“Oh… shit, sorry. All the days are blurring into one, apparently.” Sirius pushed the door to and padded over to the dresser.

“Well, you were a little high and probably pleasantly tipsy last night.”

Sirius bit their lip as they tugged their clothes off. “Yeah, I think I was.” Why did it feel like Remus was guilting them about that?

Remus chuckled before turning the page. Sirius watched him for a moment before they pulled on their pyjamas. They didn’t know how to fix things with Remus. He kept saying he needed to get over it, but Sirius didn’t know how to help him do that. Acting normal hadn’t worked so far, and they still weren’t convinced he was over the moon about the flowers and chocolates.

Biting their lip, Sirius climbed into bed next to him. “When you’re done with that chapter, can we talk?”

“Yeah.” Remus agreed.

“Okay. Let me know when you’re done?”

“Will do.”

Sirius bit their lip, sitting back and grabbing their phone to check for any late night developments, and check in with Reggie to see how he was feeling.

After only maybe two minutes Remus closed his book and set it down. “Okay, done.”

“It’s good, huh?” Sirius asked, looking up from their phone and giving him a smile.

“Yeah, almost done it actually.”

“Is it gonna be a good ending, you reckon?”

“I hope so, it’d be disappointing if it wasn’t. The book is so good.”

“I’ve got my fingers crossed for you then.”

“Yeah, I’ll probably finish it later. I don’t have to be up too early tomorrow.” He tapped the cover of the book.

“You don’t? Amazing.” Sirius bit their lip, wondering if they could text Marly and get her to take the morning class instead, just to get some time with him when they weren’t both exhausted.

Remus nodded with a smile.

Sirius looked at him for a moment before sighing, their shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry if the flowers and stuff made you feel even weirder. I didn’t get them as some sort of… I don’t know, penance gift. I just got them because they made me think of you?”

“It felt like penance, with the timing and everything. I do like them, but my first thought was  _ oh, they only got these because I’m upset with them _ .”

“Yeah… I get that. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I just… acting normal isn’t working, and being sweet to you isn’t working… You feel so far away. Am I meant to just wait until some other feelings come along instead and hope they’re good ones?”

“I don’t know, Sirius. There are still good feelings, it’s just hard to figure out how to deal with this. I feel like an arsehole because I was jealous of how you got to deal with a big moment in our child’s life and I also was angry because you went behind my back and broke the one of very few rules we have just because… I don’t even know why you did it. I understand why you wanted to be there for Teddy and that you hid it from me because of how I would have reacted, but it’s still not right.” Remus ran a hand through his curls.

Sirius sighed, leaning back against the pillows. “I know. I understand that. I did it because I got caught up with Teddy and making sure that she wouldn’t get lumped with all the baggage and shame that I did as a kid, and I didn’t stop to think. I know I betrayed your trust and I hurt you, and I’m so sorry that I did.”

“And I accept that, I just have to deal with it.”

That was not what Sirius wanted to hear. What if he never dealt with it? What if there was always this distance between them now? They tried not to listen to the voice in their head that said they were a bad parent after all. “Okay… how can I help?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay…” Sirius sighed, rubbing their hands over their face.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could make it better for you.”

They wanted to say that he could, that he could put his arm around them or cuddle up and prove the voice in their head that said he didn’t love them anymore was wrong. But they just scrubbed their hands over their face and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Do you need anything?”

_ You _ . Sirius shook their head, smiling slightly. “Nah… thank you for talking.”

“Okay.” Remus picked up his book.

“DAD!” Teddy called from down the hall.

“Coming Teddy!” He frowned as he scrambled out of bed.

Sirius frowned, straightening up. There was nothing like the sound of their child calling for them to wake them up. They wiped at their eyes, which were definitely just watering and not crying, before following Remus towards Teddy’s room.

Remus beat them to the room, where she was leaning over her bed to the bin nearby. “Oh, annwyl, you got the stomach bug, didn’t you?”

She nodded before groaning and putting her head basically in the bin. Remus rubbed her back. “It’s okay, I got you.”

Sirius’ heart hurt watching them both. Poor Teddy, stomach bugs were so horrible and this one was going around. But their heart also hurt for the way Remus was with their child, how affectionate and caring he was. They couldn’t begrudge him for that though, not with Teddy, but it just made them hurt a little more. They smiled softly before turning and heading back to their room to crawl into bed and try not to cry.


	18. Chapter 18

“I’m dying,” Teddy settled back into her bed. She was so pale, her hair was matted a bit on one side from sweating.

“You’re okay.” Remus touched her forehead, she was burning up. “I think you have what Uncle Reggie and that whole house seem to have, kid. Probably got it from Uncle Ben when you did that class with him a few days ago, huh?”

Teddy groaned, closing her eyes. “I thought I’d escaped it. I’m dying.”

“You sound like your Pada.” He stood up. “I’ll get you a cloth and some water, all right? Do you want anything else?”

“Pada is more dramatic than I am.” She huffed, curling up on her side. “No, just water.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back annwyl.” Remus ruffled her hair then gave Bucky a pet. He was laying right at her side now.

Bucky just curled up a bit closer to Teddy, laying his head on her stomach.

“Hi Buck,” Teddy said, smiling softly. “You’re such a good puppy.”

Remus grinned at them. “You take care of Teddy while I run to get those things, Bucky.” He glanced at them one more time before leaving the room.

With a sigh, he headed downstairs knowing he was going to have to take the day tomorrow. It wasn’t going to be a big deal because things were usually slow midweek and his team could handle things even with both Remus and Regulus out. There was no way Sirius was going to be able to stay home with Teddy anyhow, they were already running so short on teachers at the studios. Teddy always wanted Remus when she was ill anyhow, probably because he was the one home when she was little.

Remus looked at the flowers on the table as he filled a glass of water. The flowers and chocolate were sweet, but he wished that they weren’t in the middle of some discontent because it would have been nicer just to get them for no reason. He wished that he didn’t feel so betrayed by Sirius because it felt like it shouldn’t have been a big deal. It was a big deal to him though, and Sirius appeared to be so upset about it all. Hopefully he would get over it soon enough because he didn’t want Sirius to feel bad.

When he went back upstairs with the cloth and the water, Teddy had her eyes closed but she was still stroking her fingers through Bucky’s fluffy coat. “Here, drink some water slowly then you can sleep, annwyl.”

Teddy gave a weak little nod, taking the water and sipping some. “I’m dying. I feel horrible, Dad.”

“I’m sorry, kid.” Remus sat next to her, running his fingers through her curls. “You’ll be all right though.”

She nodded, leaning her head into his hand. He hated when Teddy was ill because he couldn’t make her feel better instantly.

“Tomorrow we can watch some really trashy TV on the sofa all day.”

“Mmm, that sounds nice.”

“I’m sure it does. We have those good coloring books too.” Remus kissed her forehead, god she was so warm. The poor baby.

“Yes please,” she said softly, closing her eyes.

“I’ll be across the hall if you need me okay? Shout or you can text me if you rather.” He took the water glass from her hand so she wouldn’t spill it.

“Yeah… thanks Dad.” Teddy slid down a little, already half asleep.

Remus laid there with Teddy and Bucky for a few more minutes, watching her chest rise and fall like he did when she was a baby. He hated when Teddy was ill, but he liked being there for her when she needed him. Hopefully Teddy wouldn’t be sick for too many days, though it seemed like the bug was wreaking havoc at the Black-Jones-Fenwick household.

With one more kiss to Teddy’s forehead, Remus headed back to his bedroom, keeping the door open a crack to hear her if he needed. The fairy lights were on, and Sirius was curled up on their side, the hair they usually scraped back or braided for sleep left loose and in their face. It looked as if they were asleep already, despite it not being that late.

Remus crawled into bed, picking up his book. He hoped Sirius wasn’t getting ill either. It was rare for them to be asleep so early. Carefully, Remus reached over to touch their forehead, but they didn’t seem to be running a fever, not yet at least. Though, Teddy did cook them all dinner…

The next morning, Remus woke up before Sirius. He hadn’t really slept at all, worrying over Teddy. To his surprise Teddy wasn’t up in their room but their bin was, so Remus grabbed it to throw out the sick. God, he used to get so queasy over this stuff but was so desensitized since having a kid. It wasn’t as if he could ignore it when his kid was ill -- especially back when he was a stay home dad.

Down in the living room, Teddy was already curled up in their favorite blanket with the TV on. Bucky was practically on top of them. “Hey Buck, you need to go out, buddy?”

He didn’t move at all, setting his head on Teddy’s stomach.

“He’s been here since I came downstairs. I had to move because I’d sweat so much.”

Remus frowned, setting the bin down to go kiss them on the forehead. “I’m sorry, annwyl. Anything you need right now?”

“To be better?” They pulled a face, eyes closing again.

“Aww, I wish I could give you that.”

They sniffed and nodded, stroking Bucky’s fur. “Yeah.”

“I’m going to clean this up and see if Jordan is up and ready for school.” He ruffled their hair. “I think I need to get Pada up too because it’s getting late.”

“Okay Dad.”

Remus smiled at them before going about cleaning the bin. Once that was done he went to go get Jordan, but was beat when he came running out to the downstairs bathroom looking pale. “Well, I guess I have to let the school know you’re both ill.”

Jordan grimaced. “Teddy’s sick too?”

“Yeah. Sirius might be too.” Remus had his fingers crossed that he would manage to not get this thing somehow as Jordan ducked into the bathroom. He grimaced when Jordan sounded as if he was getting sick. “You need anything, kid?”

“No thanks,” Jordan replied, sounding a little muffled.

“Okay, you can come out to the living room and watch some bad TV with Teddy and I when you can manage. Let me know what you need.”

Jordan made an affirmative type noise.

Remus went back out into the living room with the bin before calling the school to tell them the kids were sick. When he hung up, he looked over to Teddy with a frown. “I can run to the store for some stuff if you want.”

Teddy shook her head. “No, it’s okay.”

“What are your pronouns today, by the way?”

Teddy waved a hand and came out with a vague sounding noise. “I have no gender. I’m just sick.”

“All right kid.” He chuckled, giving their leg a squeeze. “Your boyfriend’s ill as well. Not sure you were lucid when I made that phone call.”

“Oh noo, he is?” Teddy groaned, closing their eyes.

“‘Fraid so, annwyl. I think Pada is too. I should go check on them.” Remus looked at the time. Just as he did, he heard Sirius clatter down the stairs. They were pulling on a hoodie, looking a little pale.

“I’m late, I’m late,” they said, hustling over to Remus to kiss him on the cheek, then Teddy on the forehead. “Rest, piccolino. See you tonight?”

Remus watched them. “Are you all right?”

“I feel a bit run down and tired, but needs must. It’s alright. I’m off this weekend.” Sirius gave him a tight smile, scraping their hair up into a bun. 

“You should stay home.” He held a hand out to them. “I’ll call Marly. We’ll figure it out.”

Sirius bit their lip, looking at their Apple Watch. “We’re already so short-staffed caro… I’m not sick, I’m just tired.”

“You’re pale and you slept late.”

“I know, I know. Which is why I need to leave like, five minutes ago. I promise, if I feel worse, I’ll come home?”

“I don’t believe you, but okay.” Remus sat back as Jordan came out with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

“I will, I promise.” Sirius smiled, kissing his forehead again before their watch buzzed. “Hi Jordan. I gotta run. Rest, wrap up. I love you all.” They smiled, skirting past Remus to run into the kitchen and grab an apple before heading for the door.

Remus shook his head as the door closed. “They’re so sick.”

Teddy snuggled up to Jordan, huddling up as he sat next to them. “Pada does this all the time.”

Remus shook his head. “They do, don’t they?”

Teddy nodded, huffing a big sigh.

“All right, what should we watch?” Remus looked over at the teens.

“I’m a Celeb!” 

Jordan groaned. “Nooo, Ted, it’s awful.”

“Well, kiddos, we could do that awful Love is Blind show where all the people are cis and hot.”

Teddy looked the most disgusted Remus had ever seen them. “Ew, no Dad.”

“Agreed. What about just that stupid quiz show? The music one.”

“Okay, perfect.” Remus laughed.

The day was spent mostly napping for the teens between watching TV and doing coloring. Remus puttered around the house, cleaning up and taking care of the sick kids. He worried about Sirius for more than just the fact they were probably getting sick as well. The rift between them was probably weighing on his spouse as it always did. Remus didn’t know how to fix it though. Hadn’t they been through enough that Remus knew Sirius was truly sorry and understood why they did what they did?

Some time in the later afternoon, the front door opened, and Bucky perked up from between the teens. Sirius wasn’t usually home yet, typically staying after the last classes to do paperwork or planning.

A few moments later, they trailed into the living room, looking deathly pale and barely able to put one foot in front of the other. “You were right.”

“Yeah, thought so.” Remus stood up. “Come on, sit down.”

“Come join the sick crew.” Jordan looked at them over his ginger ale.

Sirius grimaced, wrapping their arms around their middle. “I was going to go get changed, I’m bloody freezing.”

“All right, you go do that. Want me to put on some tea?” Remus asked them.

“Please.” Sirius gave him a weak smile before trudging towards the stairs.

Remus went off to the kitchen to make them some tea for their stomach and fever. He hated when Sirius was sick because they were so pathetic, just like Teddy. It wasn’t as if he could fix it for either of them sadly.

When he went out to the living room, Sirius wasn’t there. “No Pada?”

Teddy bit her lip. “Nope, they haven’t come back down.”

He sighed. “Okay, I’ll go check on them. Are you two okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” Jordan gave Remus a smile as Teddy nodded.

With the tea, he climbed the stairs to their room. “Sirius?”

“Yeah?” Sirius mumbled, from in the bathroom by the sounds of it.

Remus set the tea on the side table before going to the bathroom. They were sat on the floor leaning with their back against the tub, looking feverish. “Oh, Sirius.”

“Hi…”

“I told you to stay home.” He shook his head. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”

Sirius groaned. “I know, and you were right, but I needed to work.”

“But you didn’t need to.” Remus held a hand out to them.

“Yeah…” Sirius sniffed as they took his hand, pulling themselves upright. Unusually for them, they wavered a bit, looking unsteady.

Remus led them to the bed. “Just get some rest and you’ll feel better. I’ll put the bin by the bed too.” He pulled back the covers.

“Please.” Sirius straightened, apparently battling to pull their shirt off.

He tossed their shirt aside then helped them get their leggings off. “Do you want pjs or are you just going to sweat more with them on?”

“I dunno. Can I have pjs?” They bit their lip, flopping down to side on the edge of the bed. “Can I have your shirt?”

“Yeah, which one?”

“Mm… something big and comfy.”

Remus nodded, going to his drawer, trying to find something comfy. He picked out the  _ bi and probably high  _ shirt Sirius had got him a while ago. “Here we go.”

“Thank you.” Sirius took it from him but didn’t put it on, letting out a big sigh. He took the shirt back to get them into it, they weren’t doing much to help Remus out.

“All right. Anything else?”

Sirius flopped back onto the bed and curled up, looking up at him with big sad eyes. “To be better? I hate being sick.”

“That’s exactly what Teddy said.” Remus kissed their forehead. “Wish I could help you both.”

“Yeah, me too.” Sirius sniffed, leaning into him a little and giving a soft hum.

“Okay. I need to check on the kids.” He stood back up. “I’ll check on you in a bit, take a nap.”

They nodded. “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you.”


	19. Chapter 19

Sirius woke with a start, more than a little bewildered. They had no idea how they’d gotten home, but apparently they had because now they were bundled up in bed, wearing one of Remus’ shirts.

They sat up, feeling a bit groggy and completely disgusting, and wondered whether they could make it out of bed. Remus was not in their room and it looked dark out now, but not too late.

With more effort than they’d care to admit, Sirius got out of bed and pulled on the big fluffy robe they had for the dead of winter. They were exhausted still but at least they were more coherent than this afternoon. They took their time down the stairs, leaning against the wall as they did, and could hear Bucky’s tail thumping against the floor.

“Can I have the purple… no the lighter purple… no Jor, that’s too light.” Teddy’s voice sounded a bit crackly.

“Here, have the whole box,” Remus said with a laugh.

Sirius smiled to themselves. They were colouring by the sounds of it, something that Teddy has always loved. They paused in the living room doorway for a minute, hoping to just observe.

Teddy was sitting on one end of the sofa using the side table to lean on. They weren’t as wrapped up in the blanket as earlier, but it was sitting around their legs. Jordan was on the other end looking pale and tired, with Remus in the middle. He had his glasses on and was somehow coloring without anything hard to rest on.

“You’re so picky Teddy.” Remus laughed as Teddy squinted at two markers.

“It has to be perfect, Dad!” They turned a little to hold them up to the light more, and spotted Sirius as they did. “Pada!”

“Ah, I thought you were going to sleep straight through the night.” Remus shook his head. “Each time I checked on you, you were out cold.”

Sirius gave a watery laugh, leaning against the door jamb. “I have no idea how I got home. Kinda wish I’d slept right through, really.”

“Dorky texted me, she picked you up from the studio and dropped you home on her way to a client.” He stood up. “Here, sit down with the sick.”

“Oh… that makes sense.” Sirius smiled at him, padding over. They didn’t head straight for the sofa though, instead going to Remus and pressing their face into his shirt.

Remus rubbed their back. “You need some fluids. Ginger ale? Anyone want soup?”

“I’ll have whatever you put in front of me,” Sirius mumbled, wondering if they could hide from their own sickness in Remus’ chest. They knew they never handled being sick very well—they hardly got sick often, but when they did it was awful—but right now, especially with the tension between them and Remus, they just wanted a cuddle.

“A steak? Some pasta?”

“Don’t talk about food, Dad, that’s so mean.” Teddy made a gagging noise.

Sirius chuckled. “I think I’m hungry but a steak will go to waste. Soup sounds good?”

“Yeah I think I’d like soup,” Jordan chimed in.

“Ugh, nothing please.” Teddy yawned.

“Okay. Sirius, go sit, I’ll make the soup.”

They nodded, padding over to sit between Teddy and Jordan. “You doing alright, kids?”

“I’m dying,” Teddy declared, setting aside their coloring to curl up against Sirius.

“Ugh, I feel like I’ve died already.” Jordan yawned as Remus went off into the kitchen.

Sirius put their arm around Teddy, cuddling them close. “I know. I’m dying too. Shall we have a joint funeral?”

“Yeah, it will be totally fabulous.”

“A funeral, fabulous. Really?” Jordan laughed, curling up on the other end of the sofa.

“You know I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Sirius smiled, resting their head on top of Teddy’s and letting their eyes close.

They must have dozed again because when Sirius opened their eyes to find Remus standing there with a bowl of soup. “Come on, get up and eat this.”

“Hi… sorry, I fell asleep huh?” They sat forward, rubbing a hand over their face before holding it out for the soup.

“You were drooling on me, Pada.” Teddy nudged them with their toes.

“Here, eat this then you can go back to bed.” Remus handed them the soup before going off towards the kitchen again.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry piccolino.” Sirius bit their lip, watching Remus for a moment before looking to Teddy and giving them a smile.

“It’s fine, I’m already dying.” Teddy burrowed into their blanket.

With a chuckle, Sirius gingerly started on their soup. Teddy really was their kid; they were both so dramatic when they were sick.

“Mmm, this is really good. Sure you don’t want some Teddy?” Jordan peered around Sirius.

Teddy pulled a face and made a show of turning their blanket into some kind of face mask. “No, I really don’t.”

“Okay, okay.” Jordan snickered.

Sirius managed a few spoonfuls before they had to take a break, wondering what Remus was doing. “Caro? You okay?”

“I’m just cleaning up,” Remus called back.

“Okay,” they said, more to themselves, then went back to their soup.

Remus came out about five minutes later, going to sit on the love seat. “Everyone good? Need anything?”

Sirius shook their head, giving him a smile. 

“I’m good, thanks Remus.”

“I already said, Dad,” Teddy said with a chuckle, “to be better.”

“Well, I can’t give you that. You should all get to sleep early, you’re not going anywhere tomorrow either.” Remus sat back.

Teddy groaned. “Dad, I have drama class tomorrow I don’t want to miss it!”

“You don’t need drama classes, annwyl.” Remus laughed. “You’ve still got a fever and you can’t even look at food.”

They huffed and sat back, burrowing further into their blanket burrito. Sirius chuckled, still slowly making their way through a bowl of soup.

“Go to bed, Teddy.” He stood back up. “Come on, I’ll tuck you in like you’re still a little kid.”

Sirius sniffed, watching with a fond smile as Teddy poured themselves from the sofa and trudged over to Remus. He grabbed Teddy’s water glass and led them to the stairs, Bucky right on their heels.

“Bucky just follows them everywhere, doesn’t he?” Jordan said, chuckling.

“Ha, yeah he does.” Sirius smiled. They weren’t sure if they were feeling melancholy because they were sick or because of everything that was happening but they immediately thought of Snuffles and the way he followed Sirius absolutely everywhere. They knew Bucky loved Teddy much more because they were both kids together.

“I never had a pet. I’ve always wanted a cat but mum’s allergic.” Jordan frowned after speaking.

Oh god. Sirius bit their lip, smiling a little sadly. “I know the feeling. I never had a pet as a kid, we weren’t allowed. When we got Snuffles, I was so happy.”

“Teddy told me all about Snuffles. He looked like a bear.” Jordan set his soup bowl down before burrowing into his blanket.

“Ha, yeah. God he was huge. Like, 150lbs. He was the best dog. I’m sure Teddy’s shown you loads of pictures.”

“Yeah, all the pictures and they’re all over the place too. I like the one of you and Remus at your wedding with him.”

This little trip down memory lane probably wasn’t helping Sirius feel better in many ways, but it was nice to remember really beautiful times. “Yeah. It was a really great trip. Snuffs was in his element the whole time, just getting cuddles from everyone.”

“I bet.” Jordan sounded sleepy.

“Mhmm.” They watched him for a moment before reaching over and patting his leg. “Go on, kiddo. Get to bed.”

“Okay…” He managed to get him off the sofa, picking up his bowl. “Night Sirius.”

“Leave your bowl, Jor. Just get to bed eh? I’ll sort everything else. Night love.”

“Mmm, no, you’re sick too, I’ll just put in the sink on my way.” Jordan shuffled to the kitchen, not listening to Sirius about the bowl.

Sirius chuckled. “Teddy’s stubbornness is rubbing off on you. Get to bed.”

“I’m going,” Jordan replied.

Shaking their head, Sirius sat back and tucked themselves into the sofa. They might just stay here all night, and hope Remus wouldn’t get sick either.

At some point, Remus came downstairs in his pjs, looking tired but not the same kind of tired as the rest of the sick house. He was quiet, as he collected the glasses around the room as well as Sirius’ soup bowl. “Oh, you’re still up.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said softly. “Hi.” They swallowed, wondering whether Poppy might be able to see them when they were better, even though they hadn’t seen her for a few years.

“You should get to bed.” Remus kissed their forehead before going towards the kitchen again.

“Mm, I’m comfy here though. And if I come to bed I’ll just sweat it up and disturb you.”

“You’re not going to disturb me. But if you’re more comfy here…”

“Well, I’m most comfy cuddling you but I’d imagine you’re not keen on that.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I’ve been around the germs all day, I think I’ll survive.”

Sirius bit their lip, shrugging one shoulder. “I didn’t mean because I’m sick.”

“Because I’m upset? Well, you’re sick, I need to make sure you’re okay.”

They felt awful that their first thought was  _ well, it doesn’t really feel like it. _ Pulling their blanket tighter around them, Sirius looked down at Teddy’s discarded colouring book. “I don’t want you to have another chore on your list. I can look after myself.”

“I can look after all of you, it’s not a chore.” Remus let out a long breath before taking the glasses and bowl towards the kitchen.

Sirius didn’t have the energy to argue otherwise, so they just unwound themselves from their blanket and stood up. “Okay, Remus. See you upstairs.”

“All right, I’ll be up in a bit.”

Trudging up the stairs, Sirius paused outside Teddy’s room, as always. For a moment they entertained the idea of just going to sleep in Teddy’s room under the pretence of not wanting to get Remus sick, just like they used to when Teddy was younger and ill, but then decided they were probably a bit too old for that now.

They shrugged off their robe once in the bedroom and crawled into bed. They were definitely going to text Poppy tomorrow.

Remus came into the room sometime later, staying quiet as he had been down in the living room. He was carrying a book and tea, wearing his glasses.

“I’m still awake. No need to tiptoe,” Sirius said, not lifting their head from their pillow.

“Ah, okay.” It sounded as if he set his mug down then Sirius felt the bed shift. They still didn’t bother rolling over, half from the aches of being sick and half because they thought it was probably preferable this way. “Marly has classes taken care of, she said. So don’t worry.”

Dammit. Sirius was hoping their fever would break overnight and they could be back in work tomorrow. Apparently not. Somehow they imagined it was worse with the vibe in this house than it would be working with a fever and sickness. They cleared their throat. “Oh, that’s good.”

“Ben’s back to work tomorrow. He’s going to be taking it light, but he’s doing better.”

“Wonderful.”

“So this thing is probably a two or three day bug.” Remus’ hand came to rest on their shoulder.

Ugh, Sirius wanted to scream. Maybe if they drank all the water and downed a whole bottle of Hope’s elderberry syrup, they could shake it by tomorrow evening. “Yeah, seems like it.”

“You’ll be back in no time.” He gave them a squeeze before pulling his hand away.

“Mhmm. Thank god.”

“Go to sleep, Sirius.”

“I’m  _ trying. _ ”  _ But someone keeps talking. _ Never mind that it was the first time they’d really spoken today.

“All right, I’ll shut up, sorry.”

Sirius huffed, burying their face further into their pillow as the tears stung their eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

Remus didn’t know what to do with Sirius. He had tried to talk the night before but they didn’t seem to be interested. They were so sick, Remus didn’t think they could really get into it anyhow. It was doubtful they had the energy to dig deep and have some big talks. Remus wanted to fix things but it wasn’t going to be done with them so ill, so he was going to just take care of them.

In the morning, he rolled out of bed to find Sirius still snoring softly. He checked to see if they were still warm, and they were. Maybe Mare or his mam had an idea for something good to make for all the sick people in his house at the moment.

Teddy wasn’t in bed again this morning when he poked his head in, so he headed downstairs. They were curled up on the sofa, and there was a mug of tea and a plate of plain toast in front of them, barely touched.

“Feeling better?”

“Mmm, maybe, Jor made me it. He’s feeling much better.” Teddy explained to him as Jordan came out from the kitchen with his own plate.

“Morning Remus,” he said, smiling as he sat down next to Teddy. “You should eat your toast.”

“Have you checked your temp, kid? You look much better this morning.” Remus sat on the love seat.

“I have, yeah. Still elevated but not a fever,” Jordan said. “Teddy’s is still a fever.”

“Okay one more day home for you Jordan, and we’ll see how you feel later Teddy.” He gave his child a look.

Teddy huffed. “Dad! I’m gonna miss so much.”

“And if you go back early you’re going to be even sicker and you’ll get everyone else sick. That’s not fair.”

“Your Dad’s right, Ted.”

“You two are ganging up on me,” Teddy grumbled, sitting back.

“That’s what happens, annwyl. You’ve seen Pada and Grandma together.” Remus missed his Mam, but he was happy for her traveling with Richard.

“I know. But  _ still. _ ”

“How is Sirius?”

“Still burning up, and still asleep.” He frowned.

“Poor Pada.”

“Yeah, I know, Typhoid Mary. It is your fault,” Remus teased his kid with a grin.

Teddy gave a dramatic gasp. “Dad, how dare you.”

Jordan laughed loudly, resting back against the sofa.

“It’s true, kid.”

“Right. I’m going to eat this toast, because the sooner I get better the sooner I’m away from you two bullying me.”

“Bullying? Teddy, that’s a strong word.” Remus reached for the remote.

Teddy pouted. “I’m dramatic, what do you expect?”

“I know, I shouldn’t expect anything less.”

After about a half hour, Remus got up and made some plain toast and tea for Sirius. They hadn’t come down yet, nor had they even texted Remus to bring them something. That was strange, but they were very ill.

When they got up to the room, Sirius was curled up on their side of the bed. They didn’t look up when he walked through the door and Remus thought they might still be sleeping. He set the toast and mug on the side table before taking a seat on his side of the bed. The kids would be alright for a while. Jordan was feeling better, so if Teddy needed anything he could at least get Remus.

“Hi,” Sirius said, their voice croaky.

“Hey, you should try to eat that toast. How are you?”

They didn’t roll over to look at him. “Mm. I’m not really hungry. Thank you though.”

“At least drink the tea or the water.” He put a hand on their shoulder. They felt so tense.

“Okay.” They sat up just a little, enough to reach over and grab their mug. “How are the kids?”

“Jordan is doing much better. Up and around, not 100% but getting there. Teddy is still looking like death.”

Sirius tutted. “Poor piccolino.”

“They’re very sad about their Pada being ill too.” He brushed back the hair from their forehead.

“Mm, bless them.” Sirius’ eyelids shuttered a moment as they leaned into his touch.

“Do you need me to get you anything?” He frowned because they still felt as if they were burning up.

“No… I don’t think there’s anything you can do.”

“Nothing?” He sat back against the pillows.

Sirius shrugged. “A cuddle might be nice, but I’m all gross and the kids need you downstairs. It’s okay though.”

“I could cuddle for a little bit,” he offered them and held his arms open to them, thinking they’d crawl onto his lap as usual.

“Only if you want. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.”

“Better things to do?” He raised an eyebrow.

Sirius just nodded and sipped their tea.

“What could be a better thing to do than take care of my spouse right now?” He watched them carefully as he dropped his arms. They looked so miserable, and he wasn’t sure how to fix it.

“I dunno. Looking after our child, or having some time to yourself. Reorganising the pantry like you wanted to a while back. Reading the sequel to that book.”

“Granted, looking after Teddy is important, the other two aren’t even close.” Remus furrowed his brow. “If you’re upset with me then I’ll go do that or we can talk.”

They shook their head, studying the contents of their mug. “I’m not upset with you.”

“You’re not?” He pressed because he knew they weren’t exactly thrilled with him at this very moment.

“No. I’m upset with myself… and maybe a little upset with you, but more at the distance between us right now. And I know it’s more important to look after Teddy, because they  _ are _ more important, but I’m just sad.”

Remus frowned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry I’m making you feel this way. I’m trying to balance taking care of you both, but I guess I’m not doing it that good.”

“It’s my own fault, isn't it.”

“You did what you thought was right, Sirius. I don’t blame you. I’ll try harder because this is my fault.” He put a hand on their knee. “I’ll try harder to not be distant, okay?”

Sirius sniffed, shaking their head. “Yeah, well, what I think is right is always wrong isn’t it? My judgement is shit. That’s why Poppy always told me to stop and think and talk decisions over with someone, not because I’m impulsive but because of my bullshit judgement.”

“Oh please, you don’t have bullshit judgement. You’re feeling sorry for yourself right now,” he blurted in a knee jerk reaction.

Sirius practically flinched. “Please don’t belittle my feelings, Remus.”

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry. But you don’t have bullshit judgement, you have really great judgement, especially with Teddy. You are impulsive, but not like you used to be, right? You’ve grown so much.” He pulled his legs up to his chest.

“Sure.”

“Right.” He put his forehead on his knees. Fucking hell, now he managed to make things worse. “I don’t want to belittle your feelings. I’m sorry.”

The room was silent for a moment before Remus heard Sirius put their mug down. “I need the bathroom,” they mumbled, just before he felt the bed shift.

“Okay.” Remus nodded, not looking up. He heard the sound of the door clicking shut, then the water running.

How on earth did he manage to fuck this up even more? Christ, he didn’t mean to snap at them like that about their feelings. It was shitty of him to belittle Sirius’ feelings, he should have had a different reaction but everything was so tense right now. It just drove him mad when they picked themselves apart when they were down. Of course saying that wasn’t helpful, and he knew it. This shouldn’t be such a big deal, and Remus knew that it was his own fault it had got so bad. Fuck.

He pushed himself out of bed and went for the bathroom, deciding to at least  _ try _ again. “Sirius?”

He heard them sniff. “What?” Their voice sounded thick with tears.

“I’m opening the door and coming in.” They didn’t answer, and Remus opened the door to see them sitting on the edge of the tub, eyes all red. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” They shook their head, hastily wiping their face.

“I don’t think it is.” Remus leaned against the wall. “I didn’--“

“Then why the fuck are you stood all the way over there just watching me cry?” Sirius gestured broadly, their voice breaking around a sob. “God Remus, you haven’t barely looked at me for a week, let alone given me a hug or a kiss.”

“It hasn’t been a week,” Remus muttered, rubbing his face.

“ _ That’s _ the bit of that sentence you don’t like?! Sorry, do forgive me, it’s been five days, twelve hours and sixteen fucking minutes.” Sirius sniffed again, angrily wiping their eyes.

“I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been present. I’ll do better now, I promise.” He sat down next to them, feeling sick to his stomach but he knew it wasn’t the flu.

Sirius sniffed again, shaking their head. They kept their gaze down at the floor as they rubbed at their eyes.

“I’m not adjusting to everything as easily as I thought I would. I thought taking time to myself and thinking through this stuff, I would feel better by now. It didn't work.” He leaned forward.

“No shit.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Sirius glanced up to him then swiftly back down. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Me either.” Remus rubbed his forehead.

“I guess this is just how it’s gonna be then.”

“We’ve gotten past worse things in the past. We’ll get past this.” He shook his head, hating the idea of this distance between them forever. As always they’d work through it because they loved each other, right? This wasn’t the worst thing to happen to them. “I’ll be better.”

“The last time you were this mad at me it’s because I neglected to tell you about my secret brother until he turned up at the door. Turns out I didn’t learn my lesson.”

Remus let out a long breath. “I’m not that angry with you, I swear. I’m just feeling sorry for myself and getting caught feeling like you didn’t trust me and Teddy didn’t need me.” He put an arm around their shoulders. That seemed to break Sirius as they bit their lip around a sob and Remus watched a fresh wave of tears trickle down their cheeks. He rubbed their back. “I’m sorry.”

Sirius just nodded. “Me too.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“If you say so.”

Remus sighed, his stomach turning. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Just doesn’t feel like it. I’d get it, you know.”

It felt like his heart shattered in his chest. He’d finally manage to push Sirius away enough for them to want to give up. He let out a sharp laugh. “Right.”

Sirius flinched away from him just a little, but he felt it. “I know I’m a handful and I’m too much and so I’d get it. You deserve better. We had… we had a good run.”

Tears filled Remus’ eyes as he shot up. “ _ Right _ , sure. I have the best, what could -- fuck… _ we had a good run... _ what the fuck?” Sirius said Remus could never push them away, yet it happened. How did they get here over one mistake? If he just opened up...

Sirius didn’t say anything, just let out another sob.

“I’m sorry,” was all Remus could manage.

“Me too. I really am. I love you, so much.”

Remus shook his head. “That’s why you’re finally giving up on me pushing you away? What I did was shit, but I didn’t think this was the worst fight but...” He heard his voice crack, so he took a deep breath and straightened up. “Right, okay.”

Sirius frowned up at him. “No, I… I just want you to be happy, and I clearly can’t give you that right now.”

“Fuck you for thinking that you don’t make me happy. Fuck you for saying you’d never give up no matter how much I pushed you. Nearly twenty years and… ” He wiped a hand over his eyes, moving to leave the bathroom.

Sirius jerked as if he’d hit them or something, biting their lip hard. “Remus.”

“I need to check on the kids. Then I’ll… I’ll, I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. I understand that you’re sick of this and it was only a matter of time because we had a -- a good run.” He sniffled. What was he meant to do?

“Remus, wait a second, I...”

He slipped out of the bathroom and back into their room, trying to get himself together in order to go downstairs. Really, he didn’t mean to push Sirius away, he was just trying hard to get over feeling like Sirius went behind his back with the teens, making parenting choices without him. Feeling as if he was unneeded by then both and not given the chance to parent with Sirius was heartbreaking, but losing Sirius was worse. He had been feeling a bit better, and hoped that after Sirius felt better they could talk more but… clearly he had just fucked up to a point beyond repair.

The fight hadn’t even felt that bad, right? It didn’t even feel like a fight before this all, just Remus settling into accepting these feelings. Yet there was Remus pushing everyone away and ruining the best thing in his life. How could he have let this happen without even realizing?

A few moments later, Remus felt Sirius’ hand on his arm. “Remus… I didn’t, I didn’t mean I was giving up. I just… I broke this and now I can’t fix it.”

“You basically said we were done. You said we had a good run. It’s over, right? It’s -- we’ll figure it out. It -- it hurts but I managed to finally push you away. You didn’t break it, Sirius, I did, obviously.”

Sirius drew their hand back sharply. “I said I’d… I’d understand if you’d had enough of me. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want it to be over.” Their voice broke on the last word.

“I’m -- I…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now. I need some time and… fuck, that’s all I’ve been saying that lately.”

“Okay,” Sirius breathed. “I’m really sorry.”

“Me too.”

Sirius nodded, then turned and walked out of the bedroom. Remus heard a door opening and closing on the landing. They were probably going to the pole room, locking themselves in there for the time being. Remus had to figure out how to pick up the pieces and make it right.


	21. Chapter 21

Sirius didn’t know how long they sat in the pole room and cried. They had said the wrong thing so supremely that Remus thought it was over. They were so convinced he had had enough of their dramatics and their oversensitivity and their utter bullshit judgement. Remus had been having to clean up their messes for nearly twenty years, and they imagined that would be so tiring.

On the plus side, sobbing over the break up of their marriage seemed to have at least broken their fever, but their throat was so sore. After taking a while to gather themselves, Sirius slipped out of the pole room—they hadn’t locked it, with the vague hope Remus might knock on the door—and padded downstairs. An awful part of them hoped the kids were napping or otherwise engaged so they didn’t have to put on a brave face.

“I like Remus’ suit. He looks really cool,” Jordan said as Sirius got halfway down the stairs. Of course they couldn’t have lucked out with the kids sleeping.

Rubbing a hand over their face, Sirius stepped into the living room. The teens were sat together on the sofa, with Jordan sitting against one arm and Teddy leaning their back against his chest. Sirius instantly recognised the deep green cover of their wedding album in Teddy’s lap, and their heart broke all over again.

“Right? It’s so cool. And Auntie Marly was the… shit, not the priest. What’s the non-priest version?”

“Officiant?” Jordan asked.

“Yes! That!” Teddy turned the page. “Ah, ah this is my favourite one. Look at the way they’re looking at each other.”

Sirius bit the inside of their cheek so hard they could taste blood in an effort not to cry.

“They’re so in love. They still look at each other like that when they think people aren’t looking.” Jordan laughed.

“Pah! Even when they know people are looking.” Teddy was quiet for a moment longer, turning another page. “If… if I can find a relationship half as good as theirs, I’ll be happy.”

Sirius felt the tears start down their cheeks again as they let out a noise that they really hoped didn’t sound like a sob.

“Yeah… me too.”

Teddy was about to turn to look at Jordan but saw Sirius. “Pada, are you okay?” Their face fell.

“Not really, piccolino. But it’s okay.” Sirius hastily wiped their eyes and gave their child the best smile they could muster.

“What’s wrong?” They sat up a little more.

Sirius shook their head. “Just having big talks and big feelings. My fever’s broken though,” they said, attempting to be light as they stepped a bit closer. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, but nervous now. What’s the matter?” Teddy closed their album.

“It’s alright. Hey, can I borrow that, piccolino? You can have it back to finish looking in a moment?”

They furrowed their brow, but handed them the album. “You’re making me worried. Where’s Dad?”

“Dad’s upstairs. He’s just taking a little break from looking after us on the sick ward.” Sirius tucked the album under their arm then held the other out for Teddy for a hug. They really hoped their child took the hint.

Teddy leaned forward and hugged them tight. “Okay.”

Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of Teddy’s head, feeling the tears sting again. “I love you so much Teddy, you know that, don’t you?”

“I love you too, Pada. You’re freaking me out.” They didn’t let them go.

“It’s okay sweetie.” They pressed another kiss to their hair. “It’ll all be okay I promise.”

“Okay.” Teddy let go.

Sirius gave them a smile and ruffled their hair before they stepped back. As they skirted past the coffee table they plucked up the chocolates Remus had left there. Sirius thought they were pretty nice chocolates, but Remus hadn’t eaten too many yet. 

At the doorway, Sirius paused to look back at the teens. Teddy was watching them worriedly, and Jordan was looking at Teddy. Good, Sirius thought, happy that someone was looking after them. “Shout if you need anything, okay? I’m just going to see if Dad’s okay.”

“Okay…” Teddy cuddled against Jordan.

God, Sirius was so happy Teddy had someone. With another sniff, they headed up the stairs towards their room, half terrified Remus would’ve packed a case or something when they walked in.

Remus was sitting on the end of the bed staring at the dresser, probably thinking about packing. “I can go stay at Mam and Richard’s until they’re back at least.” He sniffled. “I just don’t want to tell Teddy… I don’t want to leave...”

Sirius bit their lip, feeling their heart break again. “Don’t go. Please.”

“If neither of us are fighting for it, what’s the point,” his voice cracked.

“You aren’t fighting?” Sirius was still by the door, still holding the chocolates and the album but it didn’t seem like it was going to do anything.

“Apparently I haven’t been trying hard enough and I pushed you away enough to want to give up, to think that I didn’t love you or that this didn’t matter to me.”

Sirius sniffed. “I… I don’t want to give up. Not on us or you… but nothing I’m doing is working and I don’t know how to fix it.” They shifted, feeling a bit lightheaded. Maybe their fever hadn’t broken after all. “I want you to fight, Remus… I want you to come back from wherever you are and at least… at least  _ pretend _ you care about me.”

“I just wanted a few days and I wanted some space. Then it just blew up and I don’t know why.” He looked down at his hands. “And you think I don’t care about you and you think that I’m  _ done _ with you.”

Sirius couldn’t deny that. And they also couldn’t overlook the fact Remus hadn’t denied either of those things. “I tried to give you space, really. I did. But you tell me not to let you push me away so I never… I still don’t ever know what to do.”

“I know, and I fucked it all up. I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t leave.” Sirius sniffed, rubbing the arm of their sleeve over their eyes.

“Clearly I’m not giving you what you need though. I feel like I don't know how to fix it.”

“And you leaving will take everything else worthwhile from me too. I can’t do any of this without you, you’re the fucking love of my life. What am I meant to do without you?”

“I don’t know,” Remus whispered. “I don’t know what to do without you either, but I don’t want to keep hurting you like this.”

Sirius looked away out the window for a moment, the tears rolling down their cheeks. “The kids were looking at our wedding album when I went downstairs.”

Remus sniffled. “Why?”

“Because they’re beautiful pictures. Because it’s their parents… I don’t know.” Sirius was still looking out the window. “Jordan said we still look at each other like we’re so in love. And Teddy… Teddy said—Teddy said if they have a relationship half as good as ours, they’d… they’d be happy.”

Remus let out a sob, leaning forward to put his head in his hands. Sirius chewed their lip, crossing over to the bed and sitting next to him. “I’m sorry I fucked up too much. I knew I’d manage to just confuse you so much when I was in my head like this…”

“I… I've been trying to get you out of your head, but twenty years of practise and experience and tricks didn’t work.” They set the album and chocolates down next to them. “And that made me… panic.”

“I’m sorry I did that to you. You don’t deserve that. I wasn’t really mad at you… I was hurt because of you going behind my back but I wasn’t  _ angry _ .”

“That’s not any better. I still hurt you, and I didn’t mean to, and I’ve been trying to make it better.” Sirius sniffed, studying his profile. He hadn’t called them  _ love _ since the weekend, or anything other than Sirius. Remus might not have noticed, but Sirius heard every single gap where it usually was.

“I know and I pushed you away and made everything worse. Then I -- I made it even worse today.”

Sirius bit their lip. “I just wanted you here. I’ve been so sick and all I want when I’m sick is you cuddling me. It’s better than soup or rest or fucking, pints of water. And you’ve been so far away. And I  _ know _ that looking after Teddy is so much more important, because Christ, I’m nearly forty-five and still want to snuggle when I’m sick, but I’ve just been lying here hoping you’d kiss me on the forehead and say  _ hi baby, how are you feeling? _ ”

Remus let out another sob. “I’m sorry. I just thought you didn’t want me near you, especially after the other night when I went to do the fucking books. I thought you were mad at me and I was just being stubborn and… I’m sorry. I’ve been so worried about you and I’ve checked on you a million times when you were sleeping but…”

“I’m not mad. I’m upset, I’m fucking heartbroken. I miss you. I’m convinced I’m going to lose you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He didn’t lift his head still. “I don’t want to hurt you but I do over and over after twenty fucking years.”

“And I hurt you too. We told Teddy that upsetting each other is just part of life sometimes… but we can’t forgive ourselves for it.”

“Yeah.”

Sirius sniffed and leaned their head against his shoulder. Stupidly, they just wanted him to call them  _ love _ , or say that they weren’t going to lose him, or that he wasn’t going to leave or that he loved them. But he wasn’t refuting any of it and it was burrowing deeper under Sirius’ skin.

“I’m sorry.” Remus wrapped his arms around them. “I shouldn’t have let it get to me like this and let it eat away like this. It wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen… yet I let it turn into the worst.”

Sirius bit their lip again—it was probably all bloody and bruised—and looped their arms around his waist, burying their face in his shoulder. Every time he touched them recently they just wanted to cry. “I’m sorry I did it, I really am. And I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the space you needed to fix it and I’m sorry I’m always over dramatic and I’m sorry I’m pathetic when I’m sick.”

“Stop, you’re not always over dramatic. You did everything you should have done because you’re a great spouse,” he spoke sternly -- as sternly as one could with tears in their eyes. “And you are pathetic when you’re sick but it’s cute.” Remus’ voice softened.

Sirius stilled, those stern words seeming to reach a bit of them they hadn’t before, and they clenched their eyes shut and pulled him closer. They wanted to say something but words didn’t seem to want to come out.

“I shouldn’t have pushed back and I should have crawled into the bath with you the other night or talked to you more.” He ran his fingers through their hair.

“I wish you would’ve gotten in the bath with me. I didn’t understand how upset you were with me.”

“It wasn’t… it wasn’t even that bad. I just was wrapping my head around it all.” He kissed them on the forehead.

Sirius paused for a moment, savouring that. “It… it felt that bad. It felt like I’d really broken everything.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I fucked up.”

“I did too.”

Remus shook his head. “You did what you thought was right in the moment, Sirius. It hurt me, but you were trying to help our child.”

Sirius nodded, pressing their face into his shoulder. “Please don’t leave.”

“I’d only leave if you wanted me to. If you thought we were done.” He held them tighter.

“No, I don’t want that. Ever.”

“I won’t go anywhere.”

Sirius held onto him, trusting that he would make sure of it.


	22. Chapter 22

The whole time Sirius had been in the pole room and then downstairs, Remus was trying to figure out how they were going to tell Teddy and how he could even manage to pack some of his things to go stay at his Mam’s. It felt impossible. He couldn’t understand how it got this bad. He didn’t mean to push them away so hard, but he was trying to process everything. Clearly he needed to be more open, and he was glad that it wasn’t too late.

“You’re still burning up.” Remus finally lifted his head to look at Sirius.

“Am I?” Sirius sniffed, their eyes all red and their face pale. “I thought it broke.”

“No, you’re still running a fever. You should be lying down.” Remus rubbed their arms.

“Okay.” They shivered and leaned into him. “I’m freezing.”

“Because you have a fever.” He shook his head, picking up the chocolates and their wedding album. “I wish I hadn’t upset you like this. You need to be relaxing and taking care of yourself.”

“I’m shit at that.” Sirius shuffled back on the bed.

“I know you are, you didn’t listen to me about not going in yesterday.” Remus pulled the covers back to get under them.

“Because Sirius likes to go into work when h—when they think everything is going wrong.”

“ _ They _ are just as stubborn as I am.” Remus emphasized the pronoun. Sirius had a tendency to misgender themselves when they were upset like this.

Sirius nodded slightly, curling up. “Yeah.”

“And Daddy was being stupid.” Remus pulled Sirius closer to him.

Sirius let out a little sob, cuddling closer.

“Oh, baby, please, I’m so sorry.” Remus sniffled. Sirius pressed their face into his shoulder and wrapped their arm around his waist.

“It’s—it’s okay. I understand. I made a mistake.”

“It’s not okay I made you feel that way.” Remus shook his head.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” He kissed their forehead.

“I know—I know we need to check on the kids but I just—and I think I scared Teddy because I was so sad when I went downstairs.”

Remus grimaced, shaking his head. “Oh? What if we tell them to come up here?”

“We could. I just want to cuddle up.”

“Okay, we can cuddle.” Remus kissed their cheek, feeling torn apart still. “Want me to text them to come up?”

“Yeah, don’t go.”

“I’m not, I won’t.” He reached over for his phone.

**Hey kid, come upstairs** **  
** **Bring up some water and your blankets and we can look at the wedding album together**

Okay Dad   
Is everything okay?

**Yeah, your Pada’s not feeling well** **  
** **Said they probably scared you earlier**

I was just freaked out  
Jordan can come up too?

**Yeah, he can come too**

A few minutes later, both Teddy and Jordan appeared in the doorway, holding blankets and their water bottles, as well Sirius and Remus’ too.

“Hi…” Teddy looked worried still.

Remus patted the bed. “Come on, we’ll look at the album and watch a movie on my laptop like we used to when you were ill.”

Teddy came over and climbed onto the bed, Jordan following a little more gingerly. Sirius smiled at Teddy but didn’t really move away from Remus. He had a feeling they would be glued to him.

“Teddy… we… we had an argument, and it’s okay. We just had to deal with it and it got a little more than we thought it would. We’re all right though.” Remus assured them. They were so intuitive, there was no way they weren’t all over the strange feelings in the room right now.

Teddy looked between them for a moment, biting their lip. “Okay… you’re okay?”

“We’re okay.”

Sirius rubbed their hand over their face and gave Teddy a smile. “We’re okay piccolino. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s all right, Pada.” Teddy moved closer to them both. “Everyone has disagreements, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Remus gave a smile as he set their album between them.

“Exactly.” Sirius shifted and held their arm out to Teddy, somehow without moving away from Remus at all.

Teddy snuggled up against Sirius. “Okay, can we look at this?”

“Course,” Sirius said softly. “Come on Jordan, you too, you’re part of this family.”

Jordan laughed, scotting closer to Teddy. “I was saying that I liked your suit Remus, it’s cool.”

“Oh, thanks.” Remus laughed as Teddy opened to the first page of the album. On one side was the picture of Remus and his Mam and the other was of Sirius and James before they walked down the aisle. “Typical of your Grandma trying to make me cry.”

“And me and Uncle James larking about and almost being late.” Sirius’ voice had gone softer.

“I like the flower in your hair, Pada.” Teddy turned the page to the pictures of them both going down the aisle.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? Grandma had it pressed for me.”

“You still have it?” Jordan asked.

“Mhmm. It’s in my nightstand. With my engagement ring box and the letter your Dad gave me the night before the wedding.”

“Can we read the letter?” Teddy looked at them both.

Remus couldn’t remember the exact contents of it so he didn’t want to answer. Sirius bit their lip and looked up at him. 

“I don’t think there’s anything inappropriate? What do you think?”

“I think it should be fine, let’s look at this first, okay?” Remus laughed as Teddy turned the page again. “So, we still look at each other like that?” He pointed to the photo of them standing in front of Marly, grinning at each other.

Both Teddy and Jordan turned bright red. They probably hadn’t realised Sirius had heard them. “Um… yes?” Jordan offered.

Remus smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I think so too.”

Sirius’ arm around his middle squeezed slightly. “Me too.”

He brushed his fingers through Sirius’ hair, feeling a little less torn apart as they carried on with the album. All the happy memories there in front of them reminded Remus of all the happy years they had. He never wanted to give that up. “That’s my favorite.” Remus pointed to the picture of them in the rain, looking at one another.

When Sirius didn’t answer, he glanced down to where they were nestled up against his side and saw them dozing. Teddy smiled from next to them. “I like that picture too Dad.”

“You do annwyl? I thought you’d be gagging at how we’re staring at one another.” He chuckled as he reached for his laptop, trying not to disturb Sirius.

“I mean, it’s disgusting. Vile. But I can…  _ feel _ the happiness in it.”

“Oh, you’re sappy like your Pada,” Remus whispered and Jordan laughed softly.

Teddy turned red. “Absolutely not.”

“The way Jordan is laughing, says I’m right.” He opened the laptop. “What should we watch?”

“Something funny. But not too funny.”

“We don’t want to wake Pada up.”

“I agree with you both.” He went to Netflix. “They need to rest.”

Teddy and Jordan picked out some movie that apparently fit that description, but they both promptly fell asleep. Remus drifted off into a nap as well, emotionally exhausted from everything that had happened with Sirius.

When he woke up, Teddy and Jordan were no longer in their bed. Sirius was still sleeping next to him, snoring softly. Remus wrapped around them, holding them tight because he knew they were so worried about him leaving. Everything wasn’t magically fixed, but they were going to work on it.

Sirius stirred, cuddling into him. “Mmm, hi.”

“Hi, you need anything?”

“No… still sleepy.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He rubbed their back. “You’re not burning up as much. You’re still warm though.”

“Mm good. I told you your cuddles are magic.”

“Yeah? Magic?” Remus let out a sigh.

“Yeah, magic.” They pressed their face into his neck. “What time is it?”

He looked up at the clock and squinted a little. “Two in the afternoon.”

“Mm, I slept a lot.”

“You needed it.”

“I feel a bit better.” They lifted their head from his neck, their eyes still bleary. “Are you okay?”

Remus took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m okay, just overwhelmed and emotional.”

Sirius bit their lip. “Yeah.”

“Are you okay?”

“Overwhelmed and emotional seems accurate. Dehydrated too.”

Remus nodded because there wasn’t much to add to that. “There’s water on your nightstand.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Sirius shifted away from him, looking reluctant, to grab their water bottle.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sirius. I’m right here.” He watched them.

They looked at him for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”

“You don’t believe me?” He sat up against the headboard.

“No, no,” Sirius replied, quick to shake their head. “I’m just still scared.”

“Okay,” Remus whispered. “I don’t know how to make you not scared.”

“More cuddles?”

“Come here then… well, drink a little more first then come here.”

Sirius smiled wider and gave them a nod, gulping down a few mouthfuls of water.

“Don’t choke on it though.” He shook his head, taking the water from them to put on his nightstand.

“Yes Daddy,” Sirius hummed, coming to cuddle up to him before their face fell and they looked at him with wide eyes. “Sorry. Was that inappropriate? I said it without thinking, I didn’t mean, I know we’re not there—-”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I love you, it’s all right, baby.”


	23. Chapter 23

Sirius bit their lip, looking at Remus. They were feeling more than a little better since they both seemed to have forgiven each other and themselves, and slept a whole lot more. For a brief moment, they had been terrified when  _ yes, Daddy _ came out of their mouth, because it was almost habit at this point, in their bedroom where he was looking after them, and they had been quick to apologise. They didn’t want to push Remus away or make him uncomfortable, imagining things would still be a little strained between them for a while.

He had said it was okay, though, so it was. Right?

“Okay… I love you too.”

Remus ran his fingers through their hair. “Come cuddle then I need to check on the kids, okay?”

“Okay. Will you come back after?” Sirius felt a little stupid feeling so clingy and pathetic, but they were the sickest they had been in a few years, never mind everything else that had happened this week. They cuddled up against his chest, wrapping their arms around his middle.

“Yeah, of course I will. Do you need anything when I go downstairs?” He asked them softly.

“Mmm, maybe tea? You have your chocolates too…”

“Yeah, I have my chocolates, I’m not sure if it’s good for your tummy right now.”

“I don’t want them. They’re yours. Just tea, please?” Sirius snuggled closer, pressing their face into his neck.

“Okay I’ll get tea. I’m going to bring up some of those plain crackers we have too. You don’t have to eat them but they’ll be here if you want to try.” Remus pressed a kiss to the top of their head.

“Mmm, okay. Whatever you think will be good,” they murmured.

Remus rubbed their back. “I can’t believe I argued with you while you’re in my bi and probably high shirt. How did I manage to keep a straight face?”

Sirius snickered. “I think you probably had your mind on other things. But it’s a very comfy shirt.”

“Ha, yeah.”

“Mmm. I love you so much, you know.”

“I love you too.” Remus held them closer.

They wriggled closer, not wanting an inch between them. “Can I have a kiss?”

“Yeah,” Remus said quietly. Sirius didn’t waste any time giving him a smile and leaning forward to press their lips together, lingering there. Long fingers rested on the side of Sirius’ neck as Remus dropped another soft kiss on their lips.

“Hi,” Sirius whispered, kissing him again.

“Hi.” He rubbed his thumb back and forth over their neck.

They leaned into it, shivering just a little. They didn’t want to be anywhere but here. “I wanna just kiss you more but I’m so lightheaded.”

“You can kiss me more later. Drink some more water and I’ll go make you tea and check on the kids.”

“Okay,” Sirius said, sitting back so he could get up. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Remus scooted out of bed. “Be back in a few.”

Wriggling their feet back under the covers, Sirius settled back with their water bottle, watching Remus potter around. As he went downstairs, Bucky appeared in the doorway and trotted over to them. They let him up immediately and snuggled with him. They had wished Snuffles was here, but Bucky was the most wonderful dog too, and it wasn’t fair on him. 

They couldn’t believe the argument had gotten so far, or so bad. For a few hours there they thought it was all over, and they would have to try and figure out what to do with their life from here on out. They didn’t want that, in any way, shape or form, but they couldn’t get the words out, or couldn’t get those words into Remus’ head. But then it all seemed to break when Sirius came upstairs with the wedding album. Things weren’t magically fixed, of course, but at least neither of them thought they were breaking up.

Sirius must’ve closed their eyes after a while, bundled up in the blankets and still feeling feverish, because they thought it was only a few seconds later when Remus sat on the edge of the bed and woke them.

“Here, drink this tea then you can sleep more.” Remus held out a mug to them.

“Mm, ‘kay.” Sirius took the tea, sitting up a little more. “Are the kids okay?”

“Well, the sunroom door is closed but I shouted in to make sure no one was dying and Teddy let out a shriek then said loudly not to come in but they were fine.” Remus pulled his legs up and turned towards Sirius.

Sirius snickered, sipping their tea. “Well, I suppose those are the rules, huh?”

“Yeah, they are within the guidelines.” He chuckled.

“Mmhm.” Sirius cuddled back up to him, sipping their tea. “You’re still okay with the guidelines? Because we can--” they broke off to sniff, really hoping their fever would abate soon-- “we can change them if we need.”

“I don’t think there’s a way to do this that won’t make me slightly uncomfortable.” He rested his hand on their lower back, rubbing soft circles.

“Hmm. Okay. But if we can make changes, then we will?” They let out a soft sigh at his touch. “This is nice.”

“Yeah.” Remus nodded, not moving his hand.

“I love you.” They kissed his shoulder, sipping their tea. “I’m trying to decide whether a bath will help my fever.”

“You think a bath will help everything, I’m surprised you’re even pretending to think about it.” He chuckled.

“Listen, they’re magic Remus, you should know that by now.”

“My cuddles aren’t?”

“Your cuddles are the best magic. That’s why cuddling you in the bath is practically miraculous.”

“Okay,” Remus said with a laugh.

Sirius nestled closer. “But here is nice. Bath means moving and I don’t want that.”

“Whatever you need, love.”

“Just you.”

“I’m right here.”

Sirius sighed, their eyes closing. “Are you okay? You’ve not caught this, have you?”

“I’m all right, I’ve been doing everything my mam always told me to do when people were ill around me.” He didn’t stop rubbing their back.

“Witchcraft, isn’t it?” Sirius said, thinking fondly of Hope and whether she and Richard were having an amazing time travelling.

“Well, she is, isn’t she.”

They chuckled, feeling tired again--god, they were so ready to not be sick--and letting out a soft hum. Everything was okay.

It was dark when Sirius woke up again, more than a little bewildered. The bed was empty next to them, but Sirius didn’t really expect Remus to just sit here whilst they slept, he was probably looking after Teddy because they were still sick too.

Perhaps the fever has broken this time, they thought as they stood up, bundling a blanket around themselves. They certainly  _ felt _ a little more lucid. The thermometer was downstairs though, so that was where they headed.

As they opened the door, Remus was coming up the stairs with a tray. “Back to bed.”

Sirius laughed. “What? I was coming downstairs for the thermometer. Is that toast?”

“Toast and more tea and ginger ale. I got the thermometer as well.”

“Really back to bed?” Sirius asked, smiling softly.

“Yes.” Remus nodded in the direction of the bedroom.

“Okay, okay.” Sirius held their hands up and walked back into the bedroom, climbing back into bed.

Remus followed them inside, setting the tray down on the bed in front of Sirius. “There you go, take your temp first, I think.”

Sirius nodded, picking up the thermometer to take their temperature. “Are you going to stand there and make sure I do?” They asked, the thermometer between their teeth.

“Yes.” He snickered before sitting on the edge of the bed.

The thermometer beeped before Sirius could answer, and they took it out to peer at it. “Ah, 37.2c. Officially not a fever! Right?”

“Yeah, officially not a fever.” He laughed. “You still aren’t going in tomorrow. Neither is Teddy.”

Sirius groaned, flopping back on the bed. “Why not?”

“It’s nearly seven, and neither of you have had much to eat at all besides maybe a few bites of toast. You’re both still pale and you’ve been sleeping all day and Teddy just went to bed. You’re staying home.”

“Ugh, fine.” Sirius pouted. “I hate being sick.”

“We can all hang out tomorrow. Jordan’s going in, so we can have a sick Lupin-Black day.”

“Okay, okay. I still hate it though.”

“Fine, go to work then.” Remus moved to sit against the headboard. “See how that goes.”

They huffed, crossing their arms. “That’s not what I mean. I’m just grumpy. I don’t like not working.”

“I know you don’t, but do you think that you’ll be okay enough to work tomorrow?” Remus asked them with a raised eyebrow.

“No… I guess not.”

“That’s what I thought.” He gestured to the plate. “You’re off this weekend, so you’ll have plenty of time to rest and recover.”

Sirius grinned, biting their lip. “Daddy is  _ bossy _ tonight.”

“I’m not bossy, I’m just trying to make sure you take care of yourself.”

“Okay, okay. I feel much better than earlier.”

“You look a little better, still not 100% though.” Remus reached for his phone.

“Mhmm. At least I’m not out of it anymore.”

He smiled and nodded. “You were in and out of sleep for hours.”

“Yeah, that’s not really like me, huh?”

“Not at all.” Remus set the phone aside again.

“What you looking at?”

“Just checking in with Reggie, he’s doing better now too.”

Sirius started gingerly on the toast, surprised that they were actually hungry. “Oh, that’s good.”

“Yeah? I added a little cinnamon to it.”

“Ah, I meant that Reggie is feeling better. But, you know, the toast is fantastic too. Teddy has to get their cooking skills from somewhere.” Sirius smiled, nudging their shoulder into his.

“Ha, it was timed perfectly with the first bite there. I was going to say, it’s just toast.” Remus put a hand on their leg. “Are you up to talk more about earlier?”

Sirius swallowed their bite of toast, looking back to him. “Er, yeah, okay.”

“It’s not -- the fact we almost decided to get a divorce shouldn’t just be swept away…”

“Yeah…” Sirius tried not to wince so obviously. “You’re right. I think we need to address… well, I don’t know. All of it.”

Remus took a deep breath and shifted to face Sirius. “It felt a bit like you just wanted to give up because you thought I was upset with you and that was it. I understand that you’re sick and stuff, but I don’t know why me being distant for a few days while I was being honest with you that I was trying to work through my feelings meant that it was over between us.”

Sirius bit their lip, rubbing a hand over their arm. “I… I don’t know either. I think, I was just in a bad spiral, and being sick and exhausted didn’t help either. I felt like… like I was trying to reach out to you and let you know I was still here, and you pushed me back each time. And I know you do that when you’re distant, and that’s okay, but it felt different this time. Usually you’re still affectionate, you still… I don’t know, you’re still my husband. The past week you’ve just been that other adult I live with. And I  _ know _ it escalated today because I’m sick and pathetic, so I’m sorry for that.”

“It scared me so much because it just felt like it was out of nowhere and I thought maybe you were thinking about it for awhile. I’m sorry I wasn’t affectionate. I don’t really know why I wasn’t. Maybe it was just everything going on and I guess I’ve been repulsed again and thinking about Fenrir again, even if I didn’t want to admit that last part.” Remus leaned forward.

“It was out of nowhere for me too,” Sirius said, putting their hand gingerly on his shoulder. “It was literally just today, when I was sat here thinking that you didn’t love me and I’d upset you enough. I know I was spiralling because I’m sick and exhausted, but that’s not an excuse. I know better.”

“I understand, it was just so scary. I thought  _ look you’ve been a distant arsehole enough for them to finally have it _ then I couldn’t really believe it because we’ve had worse fights than this and… I don’t know…”

Sirius bit their lip. “I think… everything just went wrong at the same time, didn’t it? It _ did _ hurt that you were distant, but I would’ve gotten over it, but then I got sick and needy and clingy.”

“Really, after you got me the chocolates, I was like  _ okay, I’m nearly there _ then you got ill and I was like  _ we’ll just talk after this _ then it went all wrong.” Remus put his hand on their thigh.

“Yeah… it felt like you didn’t give a shit about me, honestly. When I was sick. I just didn’t want to be here.” Sirius put their hand over his. “And I know that’s really self-centered of me, because you were looking after the kids too, and that’s just an adjustment I needed to make with me, but I really felt like I needed you.”

“I did give a shit about you -- I do. I was checking on you so much and I did kiss your forehead and… I just -- I should have cuddled you more, I do apologize for that.”

“I know I should’ve been better and given you more space. I’m sorry that I didn’t.” Sirius laced their fingers, squeezing his tightly.

“But you needed me, Sirius.”

They shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah, I did… still do. But I always will. It’s not fair that you have to jump to attention when I say so.”

“It’s not fair that I wasn’t giving you what you needed though.” Remus rubbed his thumb over their knuckles. They smiled softly, bringing their hands up to kiss the back of his. “I’m still sort of upset and angry about everything with Teddy, but it’s getting better.”

Sirius frowned a moment. “I understand… Can I do anything to help?”

“I’m not sure. I think it’s something I have to work on internally, and understand that we are partners in this and all you were doing was what you thought was best.”

“Right, right. I didn’t do it to hurt or exclude you. And I know you need time to process, but… don’t disappear on me?”

“I won’t.” Remus let out a long breath. “I hate that -- I love Jordan and don’t want him to go but I hate that Teddy’s boyfriend is living with us because it makes it all the more complicated.”

Sirius bit their lip, nodding. “I agree, he can’t stay here long term, as much as I want him too as well.” Sirius wanted to give Jordan what the Potters gave them. They wanted to make sure Jordan had a place where he felt safe and accepted. “Have you talked more about options?”

“We’re meant to see Lily this weekend. I don’t think he’s made any choice and I don’t want to push him.” He frowned. “I saw Bev the other day.”

Sirius felt their jaw drop a little. “You did?”

“Yeah, she came by Monday.”

“Fuck… you never said? I’m sorry. Were you okay--are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it because I don’t want to upset you. It’s all right.”

“Okay… I know you felt for her, which is really okay. I understand why you do.” They bit their lip, watching him for a moment. “Is she okay, do you know?”

Remus made a face. “She was very sad.”

“Oh… I hope she gets help.”

He just nodded, looking away. Sirius put their hand on his thigh, squeezing slightly. “Yeah, we can hope.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”


	24. Chapter 24

Popping the last chocolate in his mouth, Remus went to finish up the washing up that had accumulated the day before through this afternoon. Teddy and Sirius had spent the day on the sofa watching TV and coloring. They both had insisted on eating and showing Remus they were feeling better.

The teens had gone over the Potters. Apparently the bug had hit them as well, but they were also recovering. Harry and Hettie had asked if Teddy and Jordan could visit and spend the night watching movies and relaxing. Remus agreed, a little begrudgingly, but Lily insisted. She was also going to chat with Jordan a bit. James had also assured him he was bleaching every inch of the house to keep things at bay.

Sirius was still on the sofa—at least, that was where he had left them—and was finally starting to feel like themselves again. They had slept between their fight and a few big talks the day before, but they were dozing much less today. That was good news.

“Need anything before I leave the kitchen?” Remus called out to them as he started the dishwasher.

“No,” Sirius called back after a moment. “I still have this tea! Thank you.”

“Okay.” Remus grabbed his water before going out into the living-room. “Jordan text and said Teddy has already fallen asleep and they just got there five minutes ago.”

Sirius was sat on the sofa with their hands on the floor, stretching out. “Oh god, bless him.”

He laughed, taking a seat next to them. “Stretching?”

They walked their hands out a little further, making a soft noise of satisfaction. “I haven’t  _ moved _ in days, caro. I’m seizing up.”

“Right, of course.” He rubbed a hand over their back.

“Mmm, s’nice.”

He chuckled softly as he ran his hand up their spine.

They tilted their head to the side to look at him, a slight smile on their face. “Am I allowed to do standing stretches or am I still confined to the sofa?”

“I’ll allow it.” He sat back, pulling his legs up on to the sofa.

“Thank you, O Gracious One.” Sirius squeezed a hand on his knee before they stood up. They stretched their hands over their head, going onto their toes, before folding down and putting their hands on the floor.

“Daddy’s fine.” He scoffed.

Remus wasn’t sure if it was possible for someone to wiggle happily whilst bending over like that, but apparently it was. They glanced back to him, biting their lip. “Thank you Daddy, for letting me stretch.”

“You’re welcome,” Remus said around a laugh. “I don’t want you hurting.”

“Yeah. I can tell I’ve been in bed for two days.” They walked their hands out again, stretching onto their toes and twisting a little.

“Your joints are popping and cracking like it too.”

Sirius snickered. “That’s also because I’m old.”

“Ohhh I thought it was because you’ve been in bed for two days.” Remus shifted so he could lay down on the sofa.

“It’s an awful combo of both, obviously.”

“Ah, poor thing.”

“Yep. We’re both old now, huh?” Sirius straightened up, smiling at him before they sat on the floor with their legs out straight.

“Ancient.” He yawned. Taking care of his sick family was exhausting, not to even mention the argument they had.

“You should nap,” Sirius hummed, stretching down for a few moments.

“It’s almost five. I’ll be all thrown off.”

“Mm I suppose.” Sirius sat up then shifted over to sit back against the sofa, resting their head on his thigh.

He nestled his fingers in their hair. “Yeah…”

Their eyes closed. “Mm, we could get a takeaway tonight. Have a bath.”

“Sounds perfect. What are you up for?”

“Mmm, Thai food? I’m so predictable.”

“Ha, yeah. You can stomach Pad Thai?” He brushed his fingers through their hair.

“Oh god, what if I can’t stomach Pad Thai? Who am I?” Sirius turned to press a kiss against the bit of his arm they could reach. “Maybe pizza is more palatable? … plus bath friendly.”

“Ha, even with pineapples on it?” Remus was queasy at the thought of  _ that. _

Sirius grinned. “ _ Especially _ with pineapples on it.”

“God, disgusting.” He laughed at them. Only Sirius could want that after being so sick.

Sirius turned and pressed a kiss to his thigh. “You love me.”

“I do, even with your gross taste buds.”

“Ha, gross is an overstatement. There are plenty of great things my taste buds like.”

“Those specific ones that like pineapples on your pizza are gross.” He played with their hair as he closed his eyes.

“God, you’re such a pedant. I adore you.”

Remus smiled, glad to hear that because the last time he was being a pendant they were arguing. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm. I adore you, adore me and you and us together and our lives.” They turned and pressed another kiss to his thigh.

“I adore it too.” He twirled a finger through a lock of hair.

Remus heard Sirius shift a little, and another kiss to his thigh. “Want me to keep you awake?”

“Mmm.” He yawned, not opening his eyes still.

Sirius chuckled, sliding their hand up his inner thigh. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” Remus cracked an eye open. Sirius had their head resting on his thigh, smiling softly. 

“Keeping you awake so you don’t throw out your sleeping pattern.”

“I’m not really interested in staying awake like that.” Remus closed his eyes again.

Sirius nodded, sitting back again. “Okay. I love you.”

“Thank you.” He played with their hair still, frowning a little. “Love you.”

“What’s wrong?” Sirius’ voice was soft, their head still against his thigh.

“I’m just stressed because I don’t know why I don’t want to have sex becuase I’m not feeling repulsed right now.” Remus rubbed his eyes with his free hand before sitting up.

“You don’t need a reason, caro. If that’s just how you’re feeling then that’s okay.”

“Okay.” He crossed his legs. “I know that.”

Sirius smiled. “Do you want to watch something?”

“Yeah, let’s put something on.”

“You have any opinions on what?”

Remus shook his head and handed them the remote from the side table. He just wanted to feel okay with everything instantly, but he couldn’t just magically get over it. “Whatever you want. You’re the one that’s been stuck watching TV all day today.”

Sirius nodded, scrolling through a few options before hitting play on something. The opening credits for Bake Off came up a few moments later. Remus continued combing his fingers through their hair. Bake Off was an old favorite for them, and they used to fall asleep to it nearly every night for a while. Sirius leaned back, giving a content little sigh.

“This never gets old, does it.”

“No it doesn’t.” He yawned again, god maybe a nap would do him some good, but it seemed too late.

“Nap, caro.” Sirius sounded surprisingly insistent. “I bet you’ll still fall asleep tonight after what’s happened recently. Just sleep.”

“Mmm, no, it’ll throw my sleeping schedule off.” He opened his eyes. “I just need to do something.”

“You’re so stubborn. What shall we do, then?”

Remus rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know.”

“Okay. See if we can decide whilst we watch this episode of Bake Off?”

“We could rearrange the pantry.” Remus suggested, dropping his hand from their hair.

“We could,” they agreed, tipping their head back to look at him.

Remus stood up. “Come on then.”

“Can I be in charge of the soundtrack whilst we do?” Sirius stood, smiling.

“Yeah, go for it.” He laughed, going towards the kitchen. Sirius went to the records instead, apparently going to choose something appropriate.

Remus opened the pantry and started to take everything out. There was the sound of Sirius pottering around as he did.

“Did Teddy use this last? They didn’t clean it!”

“Mmm, I think so.” He chuckled hearing them complain.

Remus was trying his best to shake how he was feeling. They had talked a lot when Sirius was awake yesterday, and things were getting better. But to be on the verge of breaking up their near twenty year relationship had shaken Remus a bit more than he cared to admit. Everything was all jumbled up, and he hated it. Pushing Sirius to the point where they had spiraled and just broke like that was terrifying.

A few moments later, Remus heard the opening notes of one of their favourite albums, the one containing their first dance song— _ My One and Only Love.  _ He let out a soft laugh, knowing exactly what Sirius was trying to do.

“Nice pick,” He replied.

“Yeah?” Sirius appeared in the doorway, smiling. “I thought it was a nice Friday night record.”

“Yeah.” He reached for a bottle of olive oil.

“Right. How are we doing this? What’s the plan, Master of Organisation?”

“Take it all out then go from there.” Remus slipped by them. Sirius just nodded and got to work, sidestepping around Bucky, who was interested in what they were doing. “Go lie down, Buck.”

Bucky just laid under the kitchen table, too interested to go into the living room. At least he was out of the way there. Remus laughed as he went about his work, dodging around Sirius every so often. They were humming along to the songs, apparently happy to empty everything, and seemed to be putting things into vague categories.

“All right, let’s see…” Remus looked at everything in front of him on the counters and the table. Sirius had apparently gotten distracted scratching Bucky’s belly.

Since that happened, he went about finishing up the organizing himself. At some point Sirius ordered pizza for them while they sat at the table watching him. Remus didn’t know what to say to them about… well… anything, so he was glad to just coexist for awhile in the kitchen.

As Remus stepped back to observe his handiwork, Sirius piped up. “Hey, that looks great, caro. Good job team!”

“Ha, yes, we did it.” He chuckled. “Come on, let's go back to the sofa.”

Sirius smiled. “I mean, you did most of it, but I think having me on distracting Bucky duty and ordering pizza worked well. Bucky was obviously moral support for us both.”

“Yes, yes, clearly.” He went out and flopped onto the sofa. Sirius followed him in but went to the record player to flip the current record, which had moved on from soft, romantic jazz to some old collection of B-sides and outtakes of Bowie’s.

Remus smiled as Bucky climbed on top of him. “Hey Bucky. Hi boy, are you being good? Do you like Sirius’ music choice?”

Sirius chuckled as they came to sit next to him. Bucky didn’t bat an eye at them, though, and appeared intent on licking Remus’ face. “Of course he does. Buck has great taste.”

“Mmm, I love Bowie, but the jazz was nice.” Remus managed to look over at Sirius. He was being shit at romance when he was usually so good at it.

“Yeah?” Sirius’ smile turned soft when they met his gaze. “I can put the jazz back on.”

“You love Bowie though. We can go back after.” He closed his eyes as Bucky snuffled.

“That sounds good,” Sirius said, chuckling again. “Buck, buddy, leave Dad alone huh?”

Bucky didn’t budge and Remus shook his head at the dog. He didn’t open his eyes though, the reorganizing didn’t wake him up like he thought.

Sirius gave a sharp little whistle. “Bucky, off. Lie down.”

He whined before hopping off of Remus and the sofa. The dogs always listened to Sirius more than anyone in the house. “He was just having a cuddle.”

“I know but when he’s all up in our faces like that we can’t let him just do what he wants.” Sirius leaned down and patted Bucky on the head. “You can come up if you want, just cuddle nicely.”

Bucky laid down as Remus opened his eyes again. “God, you’re such a good dog owner.”

Sirius paused and looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “Was that sarcasm, or a genuine compliment?”

“A genuine compliment.” He furrowed his brow. “You set good ground rules with the dogs.”

Sirius bit their lip, looking down at Bucky. “Yeah.”

Remus nodded, hating that in the back of his mind he was thinking about how Sirius didn’t do that with Teddy. Not that dogs and kids were the same thing either. It was a cruel, mean, and stupid thought to have.

The record lapsed into silence and Sirius got up again, patting Bucky on the way, and paused standing in front of the shelves.

“When will the pizza be here?” Remus looked over at them.

“Should be here any minute.” They answered without turning around. “It’s Friday, maybe they’re busy.”

Remus nodded, watching them.


	25. Chapter 25

Sirius stood for a while, looking at their record collection. They had no idea what to put on. Usually, they were pretty good at picking music for a situation, and usually had plenty of choice, but nothing was standing out. Remus had suggested going back to jazz, but Sirius didn’t want to put any of the beautiful jazz albums on, because they would associate them with this awful feeling that was hanging between them both.

They knew Remus needed space, and they were trying their best to give it to him, but it was difficult. Especially after their argument, Sirius felt so unsure and unsteady that they needed Remus here to tell them it was okay, and he couldn’t, or wouldn’t.

The doorbell went for the pizza before Sirius could decide on a record and they quickly volunteered to grab it, Bucky on their heels. They were finally feeling hungry, and pizza was usually a good shout for them, so they hoped they could make the most of it.

“Here we are,” Sirius said as they came back into the living room, trying to shift some of this negative feeling. They imagined if Hope or Mary were here they would’ve gotten the sage or crystals out. With a tight smile they set the half and half pizza and cheesy chips on the coffee table. “I’m getting more water, do you want anything?”

“A beer please. Are you sure you don’t want me to grab it?” He opened the box.

“I’m already up,” they replied, already padding into the kitchen to refill their water bottle and grab Remus a beer. They were tempted by a cider or some wine, being Friday and all, but considering they had been sick, water was probably a safe bet.

Still not knowing how to tackle the subject of what record to play, Sirius just sat down next to Remus, set his beer in front of him, and snagged a piece of pizza to eat. “Thanks love.”

Sirius hummed around a mouthful of pizza, not sure what else to do. Next to them, Remus looked like he was thinking about something deeply. If only they could see in his brain.

“I thought we were going to eat this in the bath.” He went for the cheesy chips.

Sirius nibbled at the crust. “We can do, if you want.”

“You’re the sick one.” He hummed before grabbing his beer.

“Mhmm and you’re the one who didn’t want to have a bath the other day.” They swallowed their mouthful of pizza. “Sorry. We can. I don’t mind, either way.”

“You could have a bath, I’ll sit with you.”

“Sure.” Sirius finished the crust of their piece. At least if they were in the bath that was one positive for the night. “Shall we then?”

“Yeah, I’ll get this stuff, and you can start the bath.” Remus took a long gulp of his beer.

“Alright.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his forehead before starting up the stairs to the bathroom. They felt awful, but what could they do?

“Love you.”

“Love you too,” Sirius called back as they got halfway up the stairs. Suppressing a sigh, Sirius headed into the bathroom and set the bath running, dropping in one of their favourite bath bombs. They sat on the edge of the bath and scraped their hair up into a bun. They just had to trust that it would all come right.

They were climbing into the bath by the time Remus came in with the pizza, cheesy chips, his beer, and their water on a tray. It was the tray they had got for the bath so Remus could rest it across the tub. “Here you go.”

“Hi. Ah this is so indulgent, huh?”

“Pizza in a bath is very you. You’re missing wine and a brownie.” Remus set on the ledge on the end of the tub. Normally when he sat there he was washing Sirius’ hair or back. Sirius laid back, giving him a smile. They wished he  _ was _ washing their hair or back, but he wasn’t going to, they were sure. 

“Yeah, sadly I don’t think wine is a good idea with how dehydrated I’ve been.”

“Yeah, probably not.”

“You having some pizza too?” Sirius plucked up a chip, popping it in their mouth.

Remus hummed as he grabbed a piece of his pizza. “Mmm yes.”

Sirius chuckled. “This definitely seems hedonistic. But I love it.”

“You look perfect like it.” He rested a hand on their shoulder.

Sirius turned and pressed their cheek against his hand. “You sure you don’t want in too?”

“No, I’m good.” He squeezed their shoulder then grabbed a couple cheesy chips.

“Okay,” they said, determined not to pout as they pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Sorry, love.”

“No need to apologise, caro.”

Remus made a noise of agreement as Sirius heard him shift behind them.

“Whatever you want to do, it’s fine. You don’t need to sit with me, either caro.”

“Oh…”

“I mean, I’d rather you be here, but I don’t want you to be sitting here bored.”

Remus didn’t say anything, but they heard him set his beer down. “Why do you think I’m bored?”

“I don’t know. You’re quiet, and I don’t know what you’re getting out of this, you know?” Sirius bit their lip, looking up at him.

Remus furrowed his brow. “I’m spending time with you.”

“Okay. I like that.” Sirius grabbed the last slice of pizza.

“I’m sorry, Sirius. I’m trying to work through what happened yesterday on top of everything else now.”

“It’s okay. You take whatever time you need.”

“It feels like it’s not okay, and we’re having the same unspoken argument again.”

Sirius bit their lip. “Well, I’m sad you’re feeling that way, but I don’t know how to fix it, so I’m letting you do what you need.”

“I hate making you feel sad and I hate that I’m upset about everything still. I don’t know how to fix it either.” Remus took another sip of his beer.

“Me neither. But it’s okay. Neither of us are going anywhere, right?”

“Right, we’re here.” He let out a sigh.

“Do you want to talk?”

Remus shrugged a shoulder. “I got annoyed earlier because you have rules for Bucky and not Teddy and I know it’s so stupid because our kid is not a dog.”

Sirius opened and closed their mouth. They didn’t know what to say to that. It was true, really, but they also felt like they  _ did _ have rules for Teddy, just not around that one area. They took a breath before answering. “That… feels unfair. I do have rules for Teddy,  _ we _ do. And yes, I crossed the line with one rule, because my own opinions and wishes got caught up, but I have apologised so many times. We set rules and guidelines for Teddy now, and we all agree on them.”

“Yeah, I know and I hate that I thought that. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” Remus rubbed his face.

“No, you should’ve. It would’ve just festered if you didn’t, I imagine.” Sirius ate a little melted cheese from the edge of the container. “So I’m glad you got it off your chest.”

“Now you’re upset.” He stood up, letting out a breath. “You hate it when I get angry at you about the same shit. So I’m going to let it go. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, caro. You do whatever you need to. Just know that I know I made a mistake and I’m not going to do it again.” Sirius gave him a smile before sliding down into the bath and dunking their head under the water.

When they came up, Remus was looking down at them. “It’s not fine and you made a mistake and it’s not fair to you for me to say stuff like that. I should talk to someone about it because I don’t want to hurt you.”

Sirius sniffed, wiping their hands over their face. Their first thought was that he had already done that, but that wouldn’t be useful to say. They both knew how hurt the other was. “I think that might be a good idea.”

“Yeah, I think so.” He nodded. “I’m going to go call my mam.”

“Okay. I love you.” Sirius smiled, hoping Remus speaking to Hope would make a difference or get through to him somehow. They felt bad that they didn’t know how to fix the problem, but they also knew they were probably too close to it to fix it.

“Love you too,” Remus said as he left the bathroom.

Sirius let out a big breath, sinking back down into the water. God, it was so broken and they had no idea what to do about it. They just had to give Remus the space and time he needed, and hope that it went back to normal eventually.

Only a few minutes later Remus came back into the bathroom, shoulders slumped. “She didn’t answer. Look, I’ll let it go and deal with it. But I don’t want to upset you anymore.”

Sirius puffed out their cheeks. “I’m sorry she didn’t answer. Could you leave her a message? She can get back to you.”

“Of course, I did that.” Remus sat back down behind them.

“Good.” Sirius leaned their head back on the side of the tub, closing their eyes. They couldn’t bother Remus and be dancing around him constantly. They just had to trust that it would be okay.

“Don’t fall asleep in the tub.” He kissed their forehead. “Are you done with the food? I’ll go put it away.”

“I’ll certainly try,” they murmured, chuckling. After a moment Sirius heard the sound of clothes hitting the floor. They lifted their head and opened their eyes. “Remus?”

He was getting undressed, looking a little forlorn as he did so. “Yeah?”

“Oh god, sorry. I thought you were next door. That’s what I get for speaking before I open my eyes… Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” He stepped into the tub, sinking down into the water.

Sirius pressed back to give him space, a little surprised he had just climbed in with them, but so pleased too. They gingerly smiled at him, tucking one leg up against their chest. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He closed his eyes, sighing.

“This bath bomb is nice, huh? It’s one of your mam’s still.”

“Yeah, it’s good.” He nodded. “I’m sorry I’m being a shitty husband right now.”

Sirius bit their lip, tears unexpectedly springing to their eyes. “You’re not a shitty husband.”

“God, Sirius, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“No, no it’s fine, honestly. I’m just weepy at the moment I think, fucking stomach bug. I just… I don’t want you to be mad at yourself. You’re not a shitty husband, you’re the best. We’re just struggling right now.”

“You keep getting hurt and I just want to be over it.”

“I do too. But I don’t think we can force it?”

“No, you’re right.” He scrubbed his face. “I’m so scared to lose you.”

Sirius sighed, leaning their head on the side of the tub to look at him. “You’re not going to lose me. You just feel so far away.”

“I know and I don’t understand why I’m so upset about it. We’ve parented for over 16 years now and we’ve been together for 19. I know you and I know how you do things and why. I shouldn’t be so upset and don’t tell me I can be, please.” He reached forward and moved the tray.

Sirius watched, biting their lip. They took a deep breath; here’s hoping being stubborn and putting their foot down would work. “Okay. You shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t hold onto this like you are doing. It’s not fair. On you, or me, or Teddy. Or anyone, frankly, because I think Mary can tell our vibe is off from across town. I want you back, so stop it.”

“I don’t know why I can’t let it go, it’s just so… it’s like I’m latched on to it for some reason.” Remus straightened up after setting the tray on the ground nearby.

They couldn’t tell if it was working or not. “Stop it. Just… just get back here.”

“I hate it.”

“I know. I do too.” Sirius held their hands out to him. “Get back here.”

“Sirius, snuggling isn’t going to cure everything,” Remus said as he moved closer to them.

“Well it makes me feel better. So unless you’re so repulsed bodily contact is a no-no, then I’d like you here.”

Remus huffed a breath as he settled against them, his back to their chest. Sirius just pressed their mouth against his shoulder, wrapping their arms around his middle. “Okay?”

“Mhmm…” Sirius sighed. “Are you?”

“If it’s making you feel better, it makes me feel better.”

“I do feel better. Pizza, cheesy chips and my husband, in the bath.”

Remus nodded, squeezing their thigh. “That’s good.”

“Did you bring your beer up with you?”

“Yeah, it’s behind us on the edge.” Remus didn’t move.

“You want it?”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t wanna move.”

“I can pass it to you if you want. Though I’m comfy like this too.”

“No, it’s okay, let’s just stay like this.”

“Alright. I love you.” Sirius pressed a line of kisses along the top of his shoulder. They weren’t looking for anything more than affection, savouring Remus being close to them like this.

“I love you too.”

“Tell me if you don’t want kisses, okay?” They mumbled, still just idly pecking kisses over his shoulder.

“Okay, I will.” Remus hummed as he rested against them. They closed their eyes, just breathing and trying to unwind all the tension that had been brewing in them.


	26. Chapter 26

After the bath, Remus was feeling better. Sirius mentioned something about cookies as they got out, which made Remus’ stomach rumble. They decided to go make some, knowing they had the supplies after going through the pantry earlier. Things were not magically fixed, but he was trying to let things go because he didn’t want to hurt Sirius. He also didn’t get  _ why _ he was holding on to it.

“Teddy is going to be jealous we’re making these.” He dropped the last bit of dough on to the cookie sheet.

“Aren’t they?” Sirius wiped their hands of flour. “We’ll just have to make more with them.”

“Are we going to eat them all tonight?” He laughed before popping the trays into the oven.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Sirius grinned. “Would you say no to more cookies if your child wanted to bake them?”

“Of course not.” He scoffed, going to the fridge. “Do you want something to drink?”

Sirius bit their lip. “Can I have a glass of wine? I think I’ve hydrated enough today.”

He reached in for a bottle of wine. “Only if you have another glass of water with it.” Remus kissed them on the forehead as he walked past them. It wasn’t that he was forcing physical affection, but he was making a better effort.

Sirius smiled. “Okay, good idea.”

They needed the physical affection, Remus could see it in their smile. Maybe trying harder would work for him as well. “I’m glad you’re feeling better now. You were so sick.”

“I was. I don’t get sick very often, but when I do it’s grim apparently, huh?” Sirius grabbed a glass from the cupboard. “Do you want water too?”

“Yes, I’ll have water too.” He nodded as he opened the wine. “You’re pretty pathetic when you’re sick -- in a cute way.”

Sirius scoffed as they went about getting water. “I definitely feel pathetic. I don’t wanna do anything but wallow.”

“Remember the first time I took care of you while you were sick? You fever-booked our trip to Florence.”

“Oh my god I remember. It was awful. Marly kept sending me kale smoothie recipes.”

He laughed, remembering her sending so many damn kale recipes. “I’ll never give you kale, baby.”

“Ha, please, never.” Sirius laughed, padding over to him and holding out a glass of water.

“Thank you.” He handed them their wine glass.

“Swap.” Sirius grinned, leaning their hip against the counter. “How long do cookies need?”

“Ten more minutes.” He set his water down to pick up his wine glass. “I’m going to put on some music while we wait. Any requests while you lick the bowl clean?”

They didn’t waste any time going to the bowl and scraping with the spoon. “Mm, no. You can pick something.”

“Okay.”

Remus knew exactly what he was going to be putting on. Sirius had tried it earlier, but Remus needed to keep trying as well. It wasn’t fair, like Sirius said, to anyone in the family. He needed to try to let it go. So he put on their first dance song, and headed back into the kitchen.

“This good?” He asked, setting the wine down on the counter.

Sirius was leaning where he left them, with the sappiest smile on their face. “Yeah, this is good.”

“Dance?” He held out a hand.

Their smile turned into a grin as they put their hand in his. “Always.”

Remus pulled them close to the center of the kitchen as the first line of lyrics began. “I’ll try hard, love.” He rested his forehead on their shoulder, sliding one arm around their waist.

Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek, swaying with him. “So will I.”

“You don’t need to try any harder, you’re doing everything you can right now.” He kissed their jaw.

“Okay. It’s alright, caro. It’s all alright.” They kept their voice soft in his ear.

Remus shook his head. “It’s not alright, you’re hurt and I wasn’t trying… or I was in my head too much.”

“You were, but now you’re here.”

“All right, I want to be here, always. I don’t want you to go either.” He rocked them back and forth.

“I don’t want that either.” Sirius squeezed their arms around him, holding him tight.

“Okay, good.” He closed his eyes, kissing them again on the cheek then the forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too.” Remus kissed them softly on the lips before he started to sing to them like he usually did.

When the song came to an end, Remus dipped them into a kiss. It was going to be okay. This wasn’t the worst fight they had been in -- though it was probably their worst in so many years. Remus knew he was going to have to work at it more, but he could do it.

After that night, Remus talked to his mam and she talked to him a bit about being open. She also insisted Mary come sage the house (which he totally let her do because he clearly spent too much time around all that). Remus also reached out to Poppy and did a session, and she told him everything he already knew. He was thinking about the past too much, clinging on to his thoughts about Fenrir. Those thoughts were stirred up because of Bev yet again and having that on top of Sirius going behind his back with Teddy was making things that much worse.

A few weeks later, the week before Sirius’ birthday, their relationship seemed to be back to normal for the most part. Remus was trying hard to talk out his feelings and not attach on to the bad. So he was doing just that as well as attempting to make sure he showed Sirius physical affection.

Remus got out of Recovery a bit late one night then he couldn’t help himself by snatching up the most beautiful bouquet of wildflowers he saw when he stopped to pick up their take away. Everyone was probably waiting for him but the flowers reminded Remus of their wedding.

“Sorry! I’m home with food!” Remus shouted as he came through the door.

“We thought you’d actually gone to Thailand for it!” Sirius called back, laughing.

Remus snickered as he stepped into the living room. “I did, actually. The plane ride was murder but the food is that much better.”

“Oh good, I’ve wanted Pad Thai for weeks.” Sirius sat forward, clearing the coffee table.

Teddy appeared from the kitchen with plates and cutlery and Jordan was right behind him. “Yes, tom yum soup time!”

“Yes, all the good stuff. And some flowers too.” Remus set the bag on the table then handed Sirius the bouquet. “I picked these in a field in France on a layover.”

“Ah! Ha, they’re beautiful caro, thank you,” they said, smiling as they stood up to kiss him.

Remus smiled into the kiss, pulling them back for a moment when they pulled away.

“Oh god, I want to eat!” Teddy complained loudly.

Jordan just chuckled as he went through the bag.

Sirius made a little noise of surprise, wrapping their arms around his middle. “Oh shush, kiddo. You’re just as bad. Eat your tom yum.”

Teddy gasped. “I am not as bad as you two!”

Remus toed out of his shoes before taking his coat off since he couldn’t do it with his hands full. “You are, believe me.”

“We’re not, are we Jor?” Teddy looked aghast between them as Sirius sat on the sofa and helped Jordan empty the containers out. Jordan just gave him a smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“That means yes, but he doesn’t want to say so,” Sirius told their child.

Jordan blushed as Remus went to go hang up his coat. “You should be happy your parents are still affectionate after all these years.” He smiled to himself because he was lucky that Sirius was still giving Remus chances.

“Exactly,” Sirius said, sounding as if they were already eating.

Remus went back to the living room to find everyone already tucked into their food. He picked up his curry and sat right next to Sirius. It was good to be back to normal. His mother said it was the sage, but he was fairly certain it was talking to Poppy and being open and honest about his feelings along with trying to be more present with Sirius. He also knew that Sirius wasn’t going to just leave him.

Sirius put their hand on his knee as they ate, tucking into their pad thai with the same enthusiasm they always did.

About halfway through their meal, Jordan shifted on the spot he was sat on the floor in front of the coffee table. “Ah, I made a choice of what I want to do.”

“Oh?” Remus set his container aside, casting a quick glance at Sirius.

Sirius gave him a soft smile and sat back against the sofa. Remus knew that if they needed to duck out of the conversation, they would.

“I want to be fostered… I’m just nervous about what family I’d go to.” Jordan crossed his legs. “I also want to talk to my mum.”

Teddy bit their lip, looking between Jordan and his parents. “Yeah, you need to go somewhere… nice, right? And not far away.”

“Right, we’ll talk to Lily about what to do next. There’s no need to jump into things,” Remus assured Jordan. “It’d be nice to have you close, but we have to realize it might not be an option.”

“Yeah,” Jordan said, looking back at Teddy. “I don’t want to be far away.”

“I understand, and we’ll do our best to keep you close.”

“Right.” Sirius surprised Remus by speaking up. “We’re not just going to ship you off to the first family, Jordan.”

“Exactly, we’ll make sure that it’s a good family and try to make sure that you’re close, right?” Remus gave Sirius’ knee a squeeze. They gave him a grateful smile in return.

“Right.” Jordan shifted again, eating a spicy cracker. “I’m going to text my mum when… soon, I think. Remus, would you come with me?”

Remus nodded without a second thought. “Yeah, kid, I’ll be there. Just tell me when.”

Sirius squeezed their hand on his knee, not saying anything.

“Should I come too?” Teddy looked between Jordan and Remus.

“Um, I don’t think so.” Jordan frowned. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He stood up.

“Alright.” Teddy bit his lip, sitting back a little.

“Sorry Teddy… I’m going to go to the sunroom.”

Teddy gave him a smile. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“You can come listen to music with me?”

“Sure!” Teddy stood up too, going to head for the sunroom before pausing and grabbing his tom yum soup to take with him.

Remus sat back with a sigh as the teens went off. “You okay?”

Sirius puffed out their cheeks. “Yeah? I… I’m glad he’s making a decision. Hate that he has to make it.”

“Me too.” Remus reached for his curry again as Teddy came back out looking a little nervous. “What is it Ted?”

“I gue—hi, piccolino. Alright?”

“I -- could we foster Jordan?” Teddy came closer to them, biting his lip.

Sirius sat forward, looking to Remus. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, piccolino.”

“Why?”

Remus scrubbed a hand through his curls. “I know you love him, but I think it’d be best if you two didn’t  _ live _ together.”

“Plus, if we foster him you two would be like, step-siblings and that’s weird.” Sirius smiled wryly.

Teddy frowned, looking to Remus. “I… I just don’t want him to go somewhere horrible.”

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t okay? We’ll always be there for him, annwyl.”

Sirius put their hand on Remus’ thigh. “We’ll make sure he’s okay, I promise.”

“Okay…” He stood back up. “Thanks.”

“Sorry, annwyl.”

“It’s okay… I get it. I’m gonna—” Teddy gestured back to the sunroom, grabbing a handful of crackers before heading through.

“All right, door open,” Remus reminded Teddy.

Teddy groaned. “Okay!”

Remus rolled his eyes as he dug into his curry again. Sirius sighed and set their head on his shoulder. 

“We definitely couldn’t, could we?”

“No, love, we can’t. I know you want to, but we can’t. This was only meant to be short term.” He rubbed their leg with his free hand.

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, I know. A bit of me wants to, but the majority of my brain doesn’t.”

“Yeah? Do you have any arguments for why we  _ should _ foster him?”

They were quiet for a moment. “I would be able to give someone like me what the Potters gave me. That’s it. There’s nothing rational, just some weird self-serving stuff.”

“That’s a valid argument though, baby.” Remus kissed their temple.

Sirius hummed, leaning into his touch. “I guess.”

“It is.” He ran his fingers through their hair. “We need to make sure he has a good stable home, right? It’s best if it’s not with us because what if him and Teddy break up. Plus, as you said they’d be like step-siblings and that’s weird.”

“Exactly.” Sirius shifted to lean against his chest a little more.

“We’ll figure it out. I’ll talk with Lils, and we’ll see what to do next. For now, let’s focus on Dance UK coming and your birthday. He smiled, pressing a kiss to their cheek then the top of their head.


	27. Chapter 27

Sirius was  _ jittering _ with excitement, in the office of Ascendence with Marlene. Today Dance UK were coming to interview them for the magazine, as well as film some videos for their YouTube channel.

Teddy was going to come by after school to help out with some classes, because Sirius wouldn’t pass up the chance to get their prodigy child in the magazine. Marly, typically, was full-on Marly and shouting with excitement at every opportunity. 

Thankfully, everything seemed to have calmed down at home, and Sirius and Remus were back to normal. They were both maybe a little more attentive and affectionate than they were before, but Sirius figured that was what happened after an argument so apocalyptic they nearly ended their twenty year marriage. But now they weren’t worrying so much about that, they were able to concentrate on work, and getting everything ready for today.

“Pada! Pada! I’m here!” Teddy came flying into the office, throwing her backpack down. “I need to change. Do I have time?”

“Hi kiddo!” Marlene was bouncing on her toes like a kid on Christmas morning.

Sirius hugged Teddy tightly. “Yes, you have time, they’re not quite here yet.”

Teddy hugged back. “This is soooooo cool. Everyone at school is so jealous of me.”

“I bet they are!”

“AH!” Marlene peered through the door then looked back to them. “THEY’RE HERE!”

“AH! I need to change. Okay! I’m going. AH!”

With a shared grin, Marlene and Sirius headed out of the office to greet the two Dance UK journalists.

The day went ridiculously well. Sirius and Marlene answered some wonderful questions, and they were great with LGBT issues—although Sirius did start to go on a small ramble about that, which Marlene pulled them back from—as well as seeming really up to date with everything in the dance world.

After the interviews they filmed some videos, with Teddy helping out where she could. Sirius has never felt prouder than when they introduced Teddy as their daughter and watched the journalists’ faces when she was dancing.

After the journalists wrapped up, Sirius saw Teddy off on the bus to the Potters. she was going to stay there that night, Jordan had gone there straight from school, and hang out with Harry and Hettie.

Back in the studio Marlene was packing up. She grinned up at Sirius when they walked in. “I’m so proud of us.”

“Me too, Marly. This is going to be amazing.”

She gathered her things then hugged Sirius tight. “I need to go. I’m getting a reward.”

Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “Do I wanna know?”

“It’s a surprise, so I don’t even know what it is!” Marlene let go of them. “What are you and Moony up to?”

“I have no idea. Kids are with Lily and James though, so we might just chill out.” Marlene knew they and Remus had been going through a rough patch. She might be a loud mouth but Sirius knew she would always be there for them.

“Have you two had sex yet?”

Sirius rolled their eyes. “No, I had a wank in the shower like three days ago and that’s it,” they said with a sigh. “I don’t wanna push it though, you know?”

“Yeah, it’s a tough spot. I don’t think usual measures will help with this one.” She let out a sigh.

“Nah, I tried all my usual measures like three weeks ago. But we’re better now. Everything feels sort of normal apart from sex, and even then it’s like he’s just repulsed, you know? Something will change soon I guess…”

“Well, I hope you get fucked tonight.” She gave them another hug.

Sirius snorted a laugh. Only they and Marlene could say that as part of a sincere conversation. “You too, Marly. Hope your visit to Pussy Town is long and prosperous.”

“It always is.” Marly winked before taking off.

“Bye!” Sirius chuckled, going around to switch off the rest of the lights and lock up. On the bus home they called Hestia to check in on how everything had gone at the second studio without them or Marlene, and it had all gone wonderfully. Sirius was finally feeling satisfied and excited. Things with Ascendence were only going to get better.

Sirius got off the bus and walked the short distance back to the house, thinking about their conversation with Marlene. She was right, normal measures weren’t working, so they were just having to be patient—which wasn’t their forte—and give Remus space—also not their forte.

“Hi caro!” Sirius called, chuckling as Bucky came running down the hall to meet them.

“Hi love!”

Sirius followed the sound of his voice into the kitchen, and found him at the stove. “That’s a sight for sore eyes,” they murmured, crossing over to kiss his cheek. “Hi. Is that… penne alla fiesolana?” It was a dish they had at the wedding and was a special dish for them.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like it to celebrate.”

“I do. That’s a great idea. It went really wonderfully, exactly how we wanted it to.”

Remus grinned, kissing them quickly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Sirius grinned, leaning their hip against the counter. “Thank you.”

“You deserve it. How was our child?” He set the spoon aside and turned to Sirius.

“She was  _ wonderful. _ She helped out and made a real impression and spoke to the journalists. She was over the bloody moon the whole day.”

“She called me on the way to the studio and was going about a million miles a minute. Did she get on video at all?”

“She did. I swear one of the journalists was so enamoured with her, she wanted her in her own bloody video, but we didn’t have time.”

Remus’ eyes widened. “Really? God, that’s amazing.”

“Yeah. She’s so fucking talented Remus, I thought my heart would burst.”

“She really can do anything she wants to.”

“She can.” Sirius sighed contentedly. “Wine?”

“That sounds perfect, love.” Remus turned back to the stove.

Sirius leaned in to kiss his cheek before padding to the fridge to pour two glasses of wine. “How was your day?”

“Good, I taught a few classes, it was nice.” He grinned as he glanced over at Sirius. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Teddy and the studio too.”

They smiled back, their heart blooming. “Clearly all your good vibes served us well,” they said, holding a glass out to him.

Remus took the glass. “Baby, I don’t think you needed the vibes. To you and all your hard work.” He tilted his glass towards Sirius.

Unable to keep the grin off their face, Sirius clinked their glass with his. They could feel their cheeks warming. “To Ascendence, and to hard work paying off.”

Remus took a sip of his wine before setting it down. “Mmm, yes, now you’re going to be everywhere now.”

“I don’t know about  _ everywhere _ , but Dance UK readership is pretty substantial. Ben came in last week with their whole demographic researched and everything. Reggie probably helped him do it.”

He laughed, checking on the pasta. “I know he helped because I may have helped him…”

Sirius’ eyebrows jumped up. “You did? Ha, you nerdy bastards, why am I surprised? It was wonderful. Thank you.”

Remus leaned over to kiss them on the lips. “We wanted to see the reach.”

“Mm, you probably know more about the magazine than I do,” they murmured against his mouth.

“Well, back in 1976, Katrina Lebedev started Dance UK when--”

Sirius laughed, shaking their head. “Oh my god okay, you’re gonna have to ply me with more wine and pasta before you give me all the facts.” They couldn’t stop grinning though, so happy to see the light in his eyes when he talked about it.

“I’m just giving you the facts, princess. You know I love a good fact.” He pointed at them with the spoon.

Trying to ignore the way their stomach flipped at  _ princess _ , Sirius grinned. “Oh I know you love a good fact. Insatiable for them, I’d say.”

“Yes, I can’t get enough of ‘em.” He gestured to the bowls. “Where should we eat? Nearly done.”

Sirius bit their lip. “Living room?”

“Sure, whatever you want. It’s all about what you want tonight to celebrate.”

“Mm, thank you.” Sirius picked up their wine. “Music or TV, do you have a preference?”

“Nope, you pick and I’ll bring out dinner.” Remus smiled over at them.

“I’ll take your wine through with me.” Sirius reached around him to grab his glass, then headed through to the living room. 

They had decided on music, but still weren’t sure what. Or at least, they were, until they came to stand in front of the records. They had been fortunate to catch the Deluxe pressing of King Princess’ Cheap Queen way back in the day, and it was one of their very favourites. They set the wine down before going about putting that on.

“Teddy said the other day that KP was  _ old _ . I told her we were disowning her since KP is younger than us.” Remus came out into the living room with the two bowls balanced.

“She  _ did?  _ Oh, how very dare. I’ll tell her that all the vintage punk she listens to is  _ old _ too then, huh?”

“That vintage punk is ancient in comparison.” Remus set everything down before sitting on the floor in front of the sofa.

Sirius laughed, joining him on the floor in front of the sofa. “This smells delicious caro.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you think so, hope it tastes good.” He picked up his fork.

“Obviously it will.” Sirius bumped his shoulder with theirs before tucking into the food.

Remus hummed along to Useless Phrases as he ate. “Have you thought about what you want to do for your birthday?”

Sirius shrugged, swallowing their mouthful of pasta. “Not sure. We could all gather at Ascendence maybe? Can sort of make it into a celebration of the magazine.”

“Yeah, that would be so fun.”

“An excuse to get everyone dancing too.” Sirius grinned broadly.

“You’re not going to be doing classes on your birthday.” He shook his head.

They rolled their eyes, tutting. “Spoilsport.”

“ _ Maybe _ you can get me on the pole.” Remus set his finished bowl down with a sigh.

“Maybe.” Sirius grinned before finishing their last few forkfuls.

“I’m shit at it, I’m not sure why you always want me on the pole.” He sat back against the sofa. “Come here and cuddle.”

Sirius smiled, putting their bowl down and shifting closer. “Well, it’s twofold really. One, it’s amazing to watch, and two, it strokes my ego a bit.”

“Yeah? Cause I’m so shit at it?” He pulled them into his lap, nuzzling their neck once they settled.

“ _ Maybe _ .” Sirius chuckled, tipping their head back a little and wriggling to get comfortable in his lap. This was  _ so _ nice.

“Brat.” He laughed before pressing a kiss to their neck.

“Mmm,  _ maybe _ .” Sirius swallowed a soft noise, grinning.

Remus rubbed their back. “Yeah, maybe.” He snickered.

“What shall we do with our night?” Sirius ran their fingers through Remus’ hair, marvelling at the way all the grey and silver caught the light.

“Mmm, maybe give you something you want?” Remus plucked at the waistband of their leggings.

Their stomach clenched as they bit their lip. “Yeah? We could do that, if you wanted…”

“Yeah, I want to give you something.” He kissed their jaw.

“Mm, okay. I’d like that. Whatever you want to do.”

Remus pressed his lips to theirs, pulling them into a deep kiss as he pressed his hand against them. Sirius groaned, their hips shifting up against his touch as they kissed back hungrily. Remus slipped his other hand down the back of their leggings to grip their arse as the hand on their cock teased them. They shuddered, nipping Remus’ bottom lip as they pressed against him, before pulling away to gasp a breath.

“Fuck, Remus.”

“Yeah, princess? What do you want?” He nipped at their bottom lip.

Shit, a wank in the shower was nothing compared to this. Sirius shut their eyes as they ran their hands down his back. “God, whatever you want. Just touch me.”

Remus let out a low laugh. “I am touching you.”

Sirius groaned, half in relief at how good it felt and that it was  _ happening _ , and half in frustration. “You know what I mean.”


	28. Chapter 28

Remus was still sort of meh about sex, but it felt good to give Sirius something. He wanted to see Sirius get off. Giving Sirius pleasure was still his favorite thing after so many years. The way they squirmed and moaned and just turned to complete mush was so satisfying. 

“I know what you mean, baby?” He rubbed his hand over their hardening cock through their leggings.

Sirius groaned again, squirming in his lap just how he loved. “You do. Ah, that feels good.”

“I thought this felt good though.” His other hand slipped into their briefs so he could touch their skin.

“It does,” Sirius breathed, lifting their hips up to his touch as their hands stroked over his shoulders.

“So I’m touching you like you want, baby?” He grazed his fingers over the bulge.

They made a lovely little noise in the back of their throat, fingers digging into his shoulders. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want.”

“Mmm, good.” He pressed a few lingering kisses to their neck.

“Will you--will you leave a mark?” Sirius tipped their chin up a little, baring their throat to him.

Remus hummed in agreement as he sank his teeth in and he pulled their waistband down. They gasped sharply, rising onto their knees to help him, whilst trying not to move his mouth from their neck, he imagined. He let out a little chuckle before pushing the leggings and their briefs off their hips. Sirius shifted a little, going to try and kick their leggings off as one hand tangled in Remus’ hair in an effort to keep him there.

“Both hands, baby, I’m not moving,” he mumbled against their neck.

Sirius made a little noise, dropping their hands to their leggings to shove them out of the way. He grinned before sucking at an extra sensitive spot on their neck. As he did that, he brushed a thumb over the tip of their cock.

Sirius gave a sharp moan, their hips jerking. “Ah,  _ fuck _ .”

“Mmm, you make such pretty noises.”

“Ahh, please.” Sirius’ hips shifted again, grinding against Remus’ hand.

“Please what?” He dropped his hand.

Sirius moaned, their hand going back to his shoulder to pull him closer. “More, please.”

“More… what… please… who?” He looked up at them with a raised eyebrow.

It only took them a split second to realise what he was prompting, and their cheeks flushed red a moment after that. “Daddy. Please Daddy.”

Remus pressed another kiss to their neck. “Mmm, please…”

Sirius frowned a little, lifting their hips again. “Pretty please, Daddy. Touch me properly?”

“Properly, baby?” He scraped his teeth up their neck. They gave the cutest little whimper in response, and Remus watched their cock twitch.

“Stop teasing Daddy. Please.”

“Aww, poor princess.” He feathered kisses up to their jaw. Sirius let their head tip to the side, moving to wherever Remus wanted. He imagined he could probably do just about anything with them like this. “My baby.”

They rocked their hips against his thigh, head thrown right back. “Yeah.”

Remus brought his hand up to their mouth. “Get it nice and wet.”

“ _ Fuck _ .” Sirius held his gaze as they swirled their tongue over his fingers, then his palm.

“Good princess.” He smiled at them.

Sirius hummed in response, sucking his middle two fingers into the wet heat of their mouth.

“Do you want me to wrap my long fingers around you and get you off, baby?”

They answered with a nod, a pleading little whimper, and a corresponding sharp suck to his fingers.

“Are my fingers all nice and wet for you? I think so.” He rubbed his free hand down their side.

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed once they had pulled back, panting a little.

Remus smirked at them before dropping his hand and wrapping it around the base of their cock. “Good princess.”

“Oh fuck. Thank you.”

“Who are you thanking?” He stroked them slowly, twisting his wrist up as he did.

Sirius moaned, rocking against him. “Daddy. Thank you Daddy.”

“You’re so welcome, baby.” Remus’ mouth moved back to their neck as he continued to move his hand. His other hand came down and smacked them on the bottom. Sirius yelped, their body tensing in surprise as their fingers dug into his shoulder.

He hummed against their neck at feeling them get worked up. “Oh, you’re so good princess,” Remus muttered before hitting them again.

Sirius shuddered again. “Ah--fuck, fuck.” Remus watched the flush start to creep down their neck around the marks he was leaving. Sirius had their lip between their teeth, rocking against him.

“Are you close, princess?” He smacked their bottom one more time before biting at their neck again.

Sirius moaned sharply, their hips bucking. “Ah, yeah--yeah I am. Please--please Daddy.”

“Please what, princess?” Remus didn’t stop moving his hand, he just stroked them firmer and faster, only stopping to thumb over the head of their cock.

“Please can I come, Daddy? Please, please, please.”

“Yeah, go ahead princess,” he whispered against their neck.

Sirius let out another moan, their hips pressing up. It only took a few more strokes for them to come with a beautiful noise, their body clenching and shuddering against him. He kissed their neck and stroked them through it. It was so wonderful to watch them come undone against them. This had been so long.

“I love you princess.” Pulling back a little, Remus lifted his come covered hand up to their mouth.

“Ah, I love you too,” Sirius murmured, leaning up to slide their tongue over his fingers.

“You’re so good. So perfect.”

They hummed in response, their cheeks pink as they lifted one hand to circle around Remus’ wrist to better clean his fingers. He laughed as he watched them, not wanting to spoil their apparent fun.

“My perfect princess.”

Sirius pulled back, grinning as they licked their lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He brushed their hair back.

“Mm, hi. That was good.” They leaned in and kissed him softly.

Remus kissed them back, humming against their lips. “Yeah?”

“Mmmhm. You’re so hot.”

He ran his hands down their back. “You’re sexy.”

Sirius smiled coyly, biting the tip of their finger. “Yeah?”

“The sexiest princess.”

“Yay.” They squirmed, leaning in and kissing him again. “Do you want anything, Daddy? Can I be good for you?”

“Like what, baby?” Remus lightly trailed his nails down their back. He was worked up after getting Sirius off. They gasped, arching their back as they pressed their hips against his.

“I can make good use of my pretty mouth?”

Remus moaned at the thought of their mouth around him. “I love your pretty mouth.”

“I know you do Daddy.” Sirius shifted, wriggling down to nuzzle his neck, then around the collar of his shirt. “You love my pretty mouth saying filthy things and begging you for filthy things and doing filthy things to you.”

“I love it best when it’s wrapped around my cock.” He smirked down at them.

Sirius squirmed, pressing their hips against the floor. They slid back a little more, trailing a hand up his thigh and grazing over his cock. With a groan, Remus slipped his hand through their hair. It had been so long since he’d been interested in doing anything. Sirius hummed happily, plucking at the waistband of his sweats to pull them down. “This is the only present I like unwrapping quickly.”

“I know, princess and I’m very happy for that.” He brushed his finger through their hair.

“I thought you liked me teasing?” Sirius pushed his sweats down his thighs, then shimmied down so they were lying between his legs.

“Only sometimes.” He lifted a little to help them get their sweatpants off. “I‘d rather tease you.”

“Mmm I know you would,” Sirius hummed as they gave their palm a slow, lurid lick and wrapped it around the base of his cock. “Luckily I love it too.”

“I wouldn’t do it if you -- mmm -- if you didn’t princess.”

“Daddy is so nice to his princess,” Sirius murmured, sliding their tongue up the sensitive underside of his cock like they were licking a lollipop.

Remus dropped his head back on to the sofa, letting out a long moan. “Because you’re the best princess. Oh, fuck.”

Sirius gave a pleased noise, doing the same again but slower as they lifted their gaze to look up at him. He smiled down at them, deciding not to push and pull them around tonight.

“Shit, you’re so good at that.”

“Mmm, I think my mouth is made for your cock, Daddy.” Sirius swirled their tongue around the tip, then down the shaft again, not taking him into their mouth yet.

“Ah, fuck, yeah - yes -- it is.” He tightened the fingers in their hair but didn’t press.

Sirius gave a soft hiss at the pain, tilting their head a little as they sucked lightly on the head, giving him a slow stroke. As much as he wanted to get off, he wanted it to last -- Sirius seemed to want that too. After what felt like forever of Sirius’ wonderful tongue tasting every inch of him, they pulled back a little and gave him a firmer stroke from root to tip, a mischievous smile on their face.

“Princess, you’re taking your time huh?” He let out another long moan.

“Mhmm. Enjoying my favourite treat,” Sirius said, sounding smug as they dropped a light kiss on the tip of his cock.

“Oh yeah? Don’t you like the en--ending the best?”

Sirius chuckled, biting their lip before swirling their tongue over him. “That’s true. I love it when you come.”

Remus lifted his hips up. “Fuck, yeah you do.”

“Down my throat or on my face. Mmm—” Sirius paused to give him another lick— “Daddy gets to come wherever he wants.”

“Ye--yeah baby? What’s your favorite?”

They hummed in thought, taking the opportunity to suck on the tip of Remus’ cock again. “I like it over my face. All over my lips and chin and it runs down into my collar.”

“Fuck, yeah?” Remus closed his eyes thinking about what they looked like that way. “Yeah, you look so pretty like that.”

Sirius squirmed and preened, giving him a slow stroke again. “But, I like Daddy’s come wherever it goes. Except for when I don’t get to clean it up.” As if to illustrate, Sirius swept their tongue over the pre-come at the tip of his cock, very slowly and obviously.

Remus let out another noise of pleasure as he watched them. “Oh fuck.”

“Mmhm.” Sirius chuckled, making sure he was watching them before they ducked their head to  _ finally _ take him into their mouth. They kept eye contact, Remus’ cock sliding into their mouth until he hit the back of their throat.

For only a moment, Remus let his eyes flutter shut at the warm wet feeling of being in their mouth. He opened them quickly to watch them, not wanting to miss what they were doing. “Fuck, princess, you -- you’re so good.”


	29. Chapter 29

Sirius was inordinately pleased with themselves at Remus completely coming apart above them. They hadn’t had sex in so long, so Sirius wanted to savour every moment, and make it wonderful for Remus too. By the sound of his moans, they were doing a pretty good job.

“Shit, you’re -- oh princess…” Remus’ mouth opened as if he was going to moan but nothing coming out as if it were stuck in his throat.

They loved Remus when he was like this. He was usually so in control, both of the situation and his own reactions, but they loved pushing the boundaries like this. They swallowed, bobbing their head up and then down further, their nose pressing against his lower stomach.

The grip on Sirius’ hair tightened, but Remus still wasn’t pushing them down. His fingers were just there holding on to them. Sirius smiled to themselves, their hand and mouth working in tandem over his cock. Quite often Sirius said so many things because they  _ knew _ it riled them both up, knew the value of dirty talk, but what they said about Remus’ cock was  _ always _ true, because it was fucking glorious.

“I’m so close, oh fuck.” Remus’ hips bucked up slightly as a flush crept down his neck.

Sirius moaned, swallowing and swirling their tongue. They were hoping that if Remus wanted to come somewhere other than down their throat then he would pull them off, or something. They twisted their wrist, stroking him faster.

Remus’s stomach muscles tensed and his fingers tightened more as he let out a long moan. A second later he was coming down Sirius’ throat. Sirius gave a moan of their own, swallowing eagerly and coaxing him through his orgasm.

“Fuck, oh fuck, you’re amazing.” Remus panted, watching them.

When Remus finally relaxed back against the sofa, Sirius slowly pulled off, swirling their tongue as they did. “Mmm, thank you Daddy.”

Remus took another deep breath before dragging Sirius up to kiss them. Sirius scrambled up to meet him, kissing back immediately, their hands settling on his shoulders. “I love you princess. So much.”

“I love you too. So so much.”

“Mmm, did you get what you want?” He grinned.

Sirius chuckled, biting their lip. “I definitely got what I wanted. Did you?”

“Yeah.” He kissed their cheek.

“Hmmm, I’m glad. You deserve the best.” They pecked a kiss to his lips, wrapping their arms around his shoulders.

Remus rested his head on their shoulder. “Mmm, you do too baby.”

“You give me that.” Sirius sighed contentedly. “What shall we do? Besides bask in this glorious afterglow.”

“It’s your night, what do you want to do?”

They grumbled softly. “I dunno. Can we just relax and cuddle? And if you want round two later I’m sure we could…”

Remus laughed. “Baby, why the grumble?”

“Decision making.”

“Aww, do you want me to take care of you today?”

Sirius bit their lip, thinking. They didn’t feel sort of vulnerable or sad in the way that usually meant Remus could take of them, but they were  _ tired _ after this week, and today especially. Having Remus make the decisions and steering the ship, as it were, did sound nice. “Mmm, maybe a little? I just don’t want to have to think for a little while.”

“Whatever my princess wants.” He kissed their cheek.

Sirius grinned. “Mm, can I just be Daddy’s princess tonight and nothing else?” They wanted to just sink into that feeling.

“Yes, princess, you can.” Remus kissed their forehead. “Whatever you want.”

“Mmm, I like that.” Sirius let their head loll on his shoulder. “Do we have any cookies? Actual ones, not Hope ones.”

“Yes, we do. I’ll get you some and some tea.” He brushed his fingers through their hair again.

Sirius’ eyes fluttered shut. “Sounds nice. That means I have to move though, hm?”

“I don’t think I can get the leverage to pick you up like this -- especially with my sweats around my ankles.” Remus chuckled. “You don’t have to move yet unless you really want your cookies.”

“But I do really want cookies. I just want to snuggle too.” Sirius sighed and nuzzled their face into his neck. “We can stay here a moment longer.”

“All right baby.” He kissed the top of their head.

“I’ve missed this,” Sirius mumbled, squeezing their arms around his shoulders.

Remus hummed as he stroked a hand over their back. “Me too.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He kissed the top of their head again. “I’m sorry if you’ve been feeling anything but loved.”

“I know you love me, though, so it’s okay.”

Remus made a noise of agreement. “Yeah, but you like this too.”

“So do you.”

“I love it, so much.” He played with their hair.

“I’m very glad.”

Remus rocked them a little, pressing small kisses over their forehead for a while. “Okay, princess, I think it’s time for us to have cookies and tea. We can snuggle on the sofa when I’m done.”

Sirius smiled, heaving a breath before they climbed out of his lap and looked around for their leggings. 

He grinned at them before standing up. “Why don’t you go change into something cozier? One of my shirts and some flannel bottoms if you’re cold.”

“That’s a good idea.” Sirius didn’t bother putting their leggings back on then. “Do you want me to bring you anything, Daddy?”

Remus pulled his underwear and sweats back up as he stood. “No, baby, you don’t need to look after me.”

“I know, but I like doing things for you.” Sirius leaned in and kissed him softly before heading upstairs. They got dressed fairly quickly, into Remus’ climbing hands shirt and their favourite flannel bottoms, before heading downstairs again.

Remus was puttering about in the kitchen, getting Sirius’ tea together. He was humming to himself as normal, looking lost in thought but happy. Sirius paused in the doorway, smiling fondly as they watched him. God, he was just wonderful and they were both starting to get back to normal. Sex didn’t fix everything but it did help.

“Hi princess, go sit down.”

Sirius grinned. “Yes Daddy. Should I do anything?”

“Just sit on the sofa and relax. You can put on a show if you want.”

“Okay.” Sirius smiled at him, then headed back into the living room. They settled on the sofa and scrolled through the on demand, trying to see if there was anything to watch.

A few minutes later, Remus came out with a tray of tea and cookies. He looked all rumpled still from their shag on the floor. “Here we go, just how you like it.”

“Mm, thank you.” Sirius held their hands out for the tray. “Do you have tea too?”

“Yes, I left it in the kitchen.” He pressed a kiss on their forehead after handing them the tray. “Whoops.”

“Too distracted by what just happened, hm?” Sirius grinned.

“Yes,” Remus said around a laugh before taking off for the kitchen.

Sirius let their head drop back onto the sofa to watch him walk away, grinning to themselves. Quickly Remus came back into the living room with his mug of tea and a smile on his face. “Okay, here we are.”

‘Hi.” Sirius snuggled up to give him room. “What shall we watch?”

“How about Bake Off?” He put his arm around them before taking a sip of his tea.

They nestled against his shoulder, smiling. “Mm, that sounds good.”

Once Sirius put on the show, Remus set his mug down to cuddle closer with Sirius. He wrapped his arms around them. “We’re doing better, right?”

“Mmm, we are. I feel better… Do you?”

Remus nodded. “I feel a lot better. I’ve been trying harder to not latch on to things.”

Sirius smiled slightly. “I can tell, and I’m trying to be better and a little… easier to deal with?”

“You’re not hard to deal with. I understand why you hit that spiral that sort of tipped everything off.” He rubbed their back.

“Mmm, okay. Thank you.”

“You don’t believe me?” Remus brushed a hand through their hair.

“No, I do. I’m glad you think I’m not hard to deal with. Thank you.”

“If you were, I wouldn’t have stuck around after a few months.”

“That’s very true, yeah.”

“I love you princess.” Remus kissed them softly.

Sirius leaned up to return the kiss, smiling against his lips. “I love you too Daddy.”

A week later, the whole found family were at Ascendence for Sirius’ birthday. Sirius was so excited, bouncing on their toes and absolutely loving seeing their friends and all the kids playing around and dancing to the music Marlene had coming through the sound system.

They found Teddy and Remus racing each other up the poles with Jordan watching them with a look of awe and confusion on his face. Sirius stood next to Jordan, grinning. “Ridiculous, aren’t they?”

“How on earth do they do that?” Jordan laughed as Teddy did a move before spinning down the pole. Remus just slid down, telling Teddy to be careful.

“Right? Teddy is just so naturally talented at every single thing they do.” Sirius shook their head, watching their child fondly before calling over to them. “Straighten your outside leg more, piccolino. And weight more in your thighs than your shoulders.”

“Thanks, Pada.”

“Just… don’t fall off of it.” Remus hopped off the pole before striding over to Sirius and Jordan. “Having fun?”

“Pft, Teddy won’t fall off, whose child do you take them for?” Sirius smiled, kissing his cheek. “I’m having fun. Are you guys?”

Remus rolled his eyes before kissing their cheek. “I’m having fun. The magazine looks amazing. I love the pictures of you and Teddy.”

“Yeah, they’re awesome!”

“It’s really amazing. I’m so proud of us.”

“You should be. I’m proud too.” Remus put his arm around their waist as Mary and Peter came over to them looking as if they were up to something.

Sirius gave Remus a look before turning to their friends. What were the Pettigrews up to?

“Hi guys. I know I’m due my yearly chart, Mare. Can we do it tomorrow or next weekend?”

“Oh, that’s not it.” She waved a hand. “Though we need to get it done, maybe next weekend. I think tomorrow is going to be a lazy one for you.”

Sirius chuckled. “Maybe. I think your intuition is spot on there.”

“No, we wanted to talk about something else,” Peter said with a grin.

“Oh?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“You two are creeping me out, what’s going on?”

“I’ve consulted the universe, Hope--she sends her love by the way, Moony, says Malaysia is beautiful--anyway, the cards, the crystals, and my gut,” Mary said then turned to Jordan. “Would you like to come live with Peter, Luna, and I?”


	30. Chapter 30

Remus stared at Mary for a moment. It had been a few weeks since Jordan decided on being fostered, and they were going through the process with Lily. It was stressful, not knowing where he would end up. Teddy seemed to be the most stressed of all because Jordan was fairly quiet about it.

“Really?” Jordan looked between Mary and Peter.

Sirius made a sort of spluttering noise and a moment later Teddy, who had been crossing over to see the trio, almost materialised next to their Pada and made the same noise.

“Absolutely,” Mary said, smiling. “We’d love to have you, if you’d like to.”

“Like to? I -- I’d love to!” Jordan’s eyes were starting to fill with tears.

It felt as if a brick had been lifted off of Remus’ chest. For months everythings was all over the place, but now it was finally going to stabilize for everyone. He couldn’t be happier for Jordan. “That’s amazing, you two.”

“It’s an honour,” Peter said, grinning.

Jordan nodded, his lashes glistening with tears, before he suddenly moved forward and gave Peter the tightest hug.

Remus grinned, knowing that Peter was going to be the best dad to Jordan. “That is the best.”

“It’s what the universe wants.” Mary put a hand on Jordan’s back. “Ro’s not going to be moving back with us, she’s happy to give her room to you.”

“We video called her to talk about it and she already knew what we were going to ask.” Peter looked so proud.

Teddy gave a sniff. “This is going to be so good.”

“I’m so happy for you, Jordan. They’re going to be amazing parents.” Remus leaned into Sirius.

Sirius squeezed their arm around him, nodding along. “It’s perfect.”

Teddy came over and hugged Remus and Sirius. “I don’t want him to leave but I’m happy with Auntie Mary and Uncle Peter taking caring of him.” They gave another sniffle.

“I know piccolino,” Sirius murmured, kissing Teddy’s forehead. “They will be great for him.”

“It’s going to be for the best, I promise.” Remus rubbed their back.

“Yeah, Teddy, I’m not going far away.” Jordan came over and joined in their hug. “Thank you all.”

Remus felt Sirius’ breath hitch a little. “You’re so welcome, kid.”

“We’re always going to be here for you, Jordan.” Remus patted his shoulder.

“Absolutely.”

Jordan just nodded, hugging tighter. “Thank you.”

“I think we need to have some cake to celebrate.” Remus kissed Sirius’ temple. “There’s a lot to celebrate right now.”

“You sound like Grandma.” Teddy chuckled as Jordan let go and Teddy pulled away.

“That is never a bad thing, Teddy,” Mary said, pointing at them. “Come on, let’s have cake.”

Remus agreed, pulling Sirius along to their birthday cake in the other studio.

After cake and more celebrating, everyone started to head home. Jordan and Teddy went over to Alice and Frank’s for the night to hang out with Neville and give Sirius the night for their birthday. Remus couldn’t believe that Mary and Peter were going to foster Jordan. For weeks, the poor kid didn’t know where he was going to end up. It certainly wasn’t going to be back home or with his mum because home wasn’t an option and even though Bev seemed to be thinking about leaving, it wasn’t happening any time soon.

“Well, that was one hell of a birthday.” Remus let out a long sigh as he unlocked the door to the house.

Sirius was grinning giddily, following him into the entryway. “You can say that again, my god.”

“I’m going to hang up all the photos from the Dance UK everywhere and set the videos to play on repeat on our TV,” he declared as Bucky ran over to greet them.

Sirius snorted a laugh, bending down to greet Bucky and give him scratches. “You’re ridiculous. Isn’t Daddy ridiculous, Bucky? Yes he is.”

“I’m just so proud of my princess.” He kissed the top of their head.

Sirius smiled, leaning against his side. “Thank you.”

“How about we draw a bath and have a brownie?” Remus stroked their hair. “Is that a good birthday gift or would you like something else?”

“Mm, that sounds like a wonderful start to the night,” Sirius said, straightening up and looping their arms around his shoulders.

“Start?” Remus joked as he wrapped his arms around them. “You’re so old now, we've been at it all day with the party.”

Sirius rolled their eyes. “The day I am too old to get high in the bath and then shag my husband, put me out to pasture.”

“I will, baby.” He chuckled before kissing them softly.

They hummed into the kiss, pressing against him. Remus pressed them back against the closed door, his hands on their hips as he deepened the kiss. It lasted a few long, wonderful moments before Remus pulled away. “Okay, would you rather draw the bath or get the brownies?”

Sirius gasped into the kiss, arching against him. When he pulled back they raised an eyebrow. “If I don’t do the bath and you do the brownies, then the world is going to implode.”

“ _ I know _ , we can’t have that on your birthday.” Remus gave them a peck before stepping back.

“Exactly, Remus.” Sirius grinned, darting around him for the stairs. On the way past they smacked him on the arse, and were out of arms reach—like it was a practised bloody skill—before he could react.

“Oi!” Remus called after them as he went to go find a brownie.

The container was one less than it should have been, but he wasn’t going to dwell on  _ why _ that was the case because he was going to have a relaxing time with Sirius and not parent. So, he defrosted the brownies before heading up to the bathroom with a bottle of wine as well. Things were getting better and better with him and Sirius, and as much as he loved Jordan around it was going to return to normal.

Upstairs, Remus found Sirius sitting on the edge of the tub waiting for it to fill. They grinned at him, their face lighting up when they saw him. “Hi caro.”

“Hi, love.” He set the brownies, that were on a plate, and the wine on the ledge before kissing them on the forehead. “You’re still as beautiful as the first birthday of yours we had together. No, more beautiful.”

Sirius made a soft noise, smiling. “Even with my  _ four _ grey hairs now?”

“Because of your  _ four _ grey hairs.” He started to undress.

“Correct answer,” Sirius murmured, sitting back to watch him with a smug smile on their face.

Remus laughed. “What’s the bathbomb you used?”

“It’s called Purple Rain, apparently. All spicy and sweet. I love the smell.”

“Spicy and sweet, sounds like you.” He chuckled as he kicked his bottoms away.

“Ha, I was hoping you’d say that.” Sirius didn’t try to hide the fact they were shamelessly watching him undress.

“Of course you were princess.” Remus grinned at them. “Cuddler or cuddlee?”

“Cuddler.”

“Okay, you in first.” He gestured to the tub, holding his hand out. As they took his hand, Sirius pressed a kiss to his knuckles then climbed into the bath, sinking down into the very purple and slightly shimmery water.

Remus watched them for a moment before stepping in after them. “This smells really nice.”

“Doesn’t it?” Sirius held their arms out so he could sit between their legs.

He settled back against them with a deep breath. “Everything is going to be going back to normal again.”

Instantly, Sirius had their arms around his middle and their mouth against his shoulder. “It is. But a better normal.”

“Well, our special type of normal that is.” Remus turned his head to kiss their jaw.

Sirius grinned. “Normal is overrated anyway.”

“Oh, very much so.” He put his hands over Sirius’.

“Mm hi, my gorgeous husband.”

“Hello my beautiful spouse.”

“This is bliss, isn’t it?”

“Total and complete, and we haven’t even had a brownie  _ or _ the wine.” Remus chuckled, feeling utterly relaxed against Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will be posting the last part of this series later! It's multi chapter and a nice wrap up. I do have a fic with Teddy as the main floating in my brain, but no promises.


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